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June 4, 2004

* Chip on your shoulder

I read with interest the article by Lance Raheem [Like I'm from Pluto] and I think he is mostly wrong about several things. Here's why.

1) Iranians disliking you because you are half-Iranian is not at all true based on my experience and what I have heard from others through the years. Furthermore, I have a half Iranian son and have been witnessing how people have treated him inside and outside of Iran.

With all due respect Lance, you are not a sociologist or a psychologist and have not done a scientific survey of Iranians' opinions about this matter. You are just talking from personal experience and mainly based on what your type I cousin proclaims! You can't judge people that way. There is more to it than that.

2) The treatment you (or your cousin) have experienced when visiting Iran is due to two facts. One is that kids are cruel. They say mean things about other kids and do mean things to other kids all over the world. And this gets even worse in teen years. What your cousin heard in Iran is no different that what some white kid named James Johnson is liable to hear from a bunch of meanies on an Oakland street corner or a school yard in Los Angeles. Don't have a chip on your shoulder. This happens to kids all over the world, regardless of the purity and make up of their blood! 

The conversations that you may have had with your cousin(s) about how many passports one may or may not be able to have is hardly the grounds for building a discrimination case and declare a group of people mistreated or classified as an under-class group of victims!

3) Being treated weirdly (or especially, depending on who you ask!) is not something specific to half-blooded kids. My American wife could tell you that she got stares and was treated like a freak of nature in Iran on her numerous trips. And she is not half-blooded. She is just blonde and people knew she was a foreigner. It is really not a negative thing. Iranians love foreigners; sometimes to a fault! They go out of their way to accommodate, treat and please someone who comes from abroad, especially an American. In case of half-blooded kids, I'm sure other factors come in to make it a unique type of treatment and as I pointed out above, no doubt a big part of it is the way kids treat someone who is obviously more privileged and is going to go back to the dreamland of America in a few weeks, leaving them behind in their dusty reality of Iran with all its problems!

4) From a family perspective, and from personal experience, I can tell you that my family in Iran adore my kid. Your aunts and uncles and grand parents love you dearly. There may be jealousy involved at different levels, especially from his cousins, but that is not a phenomenon that can be classified as a "problem" for most people involved.

In summary, I think you should lose that chip off your shoulder and realize that you are twice as special! You carry the benefit of two perspectives and cultures. Kids like you have the unique gift of being able to understand and process both countries and peoples point of view and stance. Regardless of your type, you, my son and other Ameranians stand as the greatest hope for the future friendship and relations of the two great countries.

Just think positively and we'll all be fine!

Ben Bagheri

* Be patient

Dear Raheem or Lance, whichever you are called with, they are both beautiful names as they point to one beautiful mind. [Like I'm from Pluto]

I read you letter over and over, it made me laugh and brought tears to my eyes couple of times. No I wasn’t crying for what you said but I was chopping onion.(I don’t know why when I got to the middle of your letter I remembered I have to chop some onions)

You are funny and loving.

I tell you one thing about us, Iranians/Persians/Purrrrsians, we usually send out confusing messages to our observers. The very time we seem to be divided we are ready to get united. Maybe we rip each other apart for little things but when it comes to a little insult from strangers we all get united and teach them a lesson to remember for years >>> Full text


* Focus on all the good things

I always love to read articles written by the members of the next generation and of course the issue he brings up is one very close to my heart. [Like I'm from Pluto]

I adamantly oppose marrying an outsider (although I was married to an American I never regretted being divorced despite the fact that everyone loved him). I have told my son from the time he was in my stomach that if he marries an outsider he will be "disowned". He makes sure to tell everyone that his mom has threatened him! However, my heart goes out to kids who are in your situation because many times they have identity crisis >>> Full text

Azam Nemati


* Just to get a date?

Dear Miss Nemati,

I have a word of advise for you, get a life and be real !!!! And if you came cross some one that is practicing your advise [Make it your bible, bubba], than I think he is either,

A. A loser
B. Trying to get to your pants.

Because any self respecting human being will not go thru such practices just to get a date if it was meant to be based on true, mutual and sincere respect.

And as for your friend that went to Iran, if he had to go thru all of these to meet some one, then some thing serious must be wrong with him. As you might well know, it would just be enough to show your blue passport in Iran to get surrounded by "wannabe future hamsar" no matter what.


P.S. And if this is what truly Iranian women want, then we all should really stick to non-Iranians, but I don't think your version is true.


* Lost for ever

Dear Parviz, [Shah or sheikh]

Loved your writing as usual. When one falls to the mind set of communism, to get out of it needs a lot of courage & insight.

Unfortunately very few have this ability to realize their mistake & have the courage to admit it publicly. Among the ex communist who did that, I only know Ms. Homa Nategh. If there are others, either, they have kept it to themselves rather that to come out with it in public, or they are afraid to loss their so-called false credibility.

Those who are yet under the hood wink of the defunct communism, such as this lady, Fariba Amini, are lost for ever. [They wrote the book]

No logic or historical facts can scratch their washed brain. They will have to suffer all their lives by their own disability to grasp the reality of the new world.

H. Hakimi,


All past letters

By subject
June 2004

June 4

Half-Iranian identity
* Chip on your shoulder
* Be patient
* Focus on good things
Shah or sheikh
* Lost for ever

Azam Nemati

* Just to get a date?

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