Being a non-Christian and non-European, or non-white, is something to set aside Iranians, and most other men from the Middle East, in their search, or pursuit, of/for women. Although Iranians, or other men from the Middle East, are mostly of Caucasian race, they have darker skin. But it is not the darker skin (sometimes it can actually be very attractive) that usually creates the differences but religion, and a not-so-pretty public perception about people from the Middle East.
So, I thought to come up with a recipe to success that every Iranian man needs to read, in case he's on hunt for a Christian wife or girlfriend, or general improvement in sympathy, or success, among women of Europe or America. As mentioned earlier, the differences exist, and cannot be ignored. Iranian, Arab, Afghan or Turkish, men (and men from some other smaller nations from the same area) in America and Europe, although being of the same Caucasian race, are seen differently. These men have a pretty bad image that creates their special situation worth considering.
Let's start with one very very important thing, just like selling a product, when you are a man, you are sort of trying to sell your product on the market. You put yourself on some sort of a virtual (imaginary) shelf for women's picking/ viewing, so that some, or more, of them can fall for your offering. So, you kind of need to do what they call in marketing a SWOT analysis. SWOT goes for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats (threats is less relevant though important if you consider the post-success period).
I have done the SWOT analysis and reached some conclusions that you, the Iranian man, can take into consideration.
STRENGTHS - what then:
First, you need to analyse your specific situation, to see what is your strong point compared to the competition. Women care about strenght a lot. They don't want losers, unless they are so 'poorly' equipped themselves they go for almost everything.
So, you need to know your strengths very well, and SHOW it, though NEVER try to boast. Women do not like boasters. Women like intelligent men, and intelligent men never boast. Intelligent men know that being kind is good for them, and their image, and they always try to be kind to others, male or female, and boasting is not being kind. Boasting is very very bad for one's public image. It shows that you are stupid, PERIOD.
To understand your strong points you need to know how wealthy you are, and how good-lloking you are, compared to the competition of course. Women in the West are used to seeing wealthy or good-looking men, so unless you are going for the date with a Rolls-Royce, Bentley, Ferrari, Lamborghini or Bugatti, and you look like Brad Pitt, you are not far from average.
After analysing your wealth and looks, you need to take appropriate measures in order to improve your image. You need to dress well, use perfumes, and have a nice and clean car, and if necessary go to the gym or do some sports to improve your looks too. The house is less important because if she accepted to come and see your house it is already a bit too late for her to change her mind, unless your house is so messed-up and dirty that it will turn her stomach around!
All these cost money, so you need to spend some money! Yes, to have success with women you actually need to spend some money. The more money you can afford the more you ought to spend, though without boasting and intimidating the woman. You need to be respectful, and not inferiorate the woman with your wealth. You need to show humbleness. That is a clear sign of intelligence, and women LOVE intelligent men. If someone tells you that women don't care about money, then he probably got married with his mom's help.
Women do care about money but that does not mean they ONLY care about money. Money is a basic requirement for life. In order to raise a child, a woman needs a man, AND some money! It is very simple. So, your style, your clothes, and your car, will show that you have some money. Women are genetically engineered to look for men who can afford raising children, and that means spending some extra money.
Of course, we all know that some men have so little money they cannot afford expensive clothes or a really nice car. What about them? Well, they can always try getting a better, or second, job. But maybe they are simply not that well-positioned in the society so they just need to live with a less plentiful lifestyle. These men need to consider their situation very carefully and do as much as they can to make some improvements, and in case improvements are almost impossible they can ALWAYS be nice, gentle, courteous and caring toward women, smile often, and make nice jokes. These work because they show that the man is not sad, and confident about life.
Women will never fall for a sad man. Women want strong, confident, lively men. Strong, confident lively men bring joy and action to life. Sad men bring nothing, but sadness. A lonely woman is always happier being lonely than being with a sad man, so why hang around with a sad man? Well, in case she is even more depressed she will be satisfied with a sad man, because he can offer a better horizon, but then again why would the man want a more depressed woman? Maybe for sex? That's true too, for a terribly desperate man!
In case you are an Iranian man and you think that being an Iranian is a strength in itself, then believe me you are pretty dumb. Try not to hide being an Iranian because it will reveal itself sooner or later and show that you are not a confident man, but try also not to be arrogant because you are an Iranian, and try NOT to spell Iranian PERRRRSSSHIAN, because Western women will never understand what you are saying.
Unless the woman thinks Iranians are Arabs then you can, just for the sake of correctness, tell her that Iranians are not Arabs because they are mostly non-Arabic speakers, or mostly Persian-speakers. That is quite enough. Being an Iranian, or a Persian, is NO strength. You can use this, being an Iranian, to show that you are not in favour of the IRI regime and that you condemn their treatment of women etc. That will make a good impression.
You can also use your Iranian-ness to make fun... of yourself. You think you can't? Yes, you can make some nice jokes, which are very good to impress women. Make jokes about terrorism, bombs, nuclear weapons, Ahmadinejad, so on and so forth. Try to show that you are open-minded and smart, and that will also make a very good impression. As said earlier, women like intelligence REALLY A LOT. And an intelligent man can be funny, using all the tools available. For example you can say to her that if she is not good you can use your opportunity to go to heaven (to get 70-something virgins as reward), and take her, a Christian infidel, with you.
I know, this sounds pretty bad, but if you say it like a joke, it can work very well, because it will be something really original. So, being an Iranian can sometimes be a strength too, because you can play the victim (by criticising the Iranian regime) and also use your nationality to make jokes.
WEAKNESSES - what then:
It is good to know your weaknesses. That will make you less stupid, or smarter, especially when you have a lot of weaknesses, and being an Iranian, is definitely a weak point rather than a strong point.
You think being an Iranian is a strong point? Why? Why would it be a strong point? You are from a Muslim country that exports terrorism. Your skin is pretty dark (that is not always bad, but more often bad) and the only thing the average Christian woman knows about Iran is that Iranians are related to one or more of the following: terrorism, Muslim extremism, nuclear proliferation, public hangings, human rights violations, mistreatment of women, etc. The list can go on. You think Westerners are wrong to know ONLY these about Iranians?
You may be right. But, here it is about being successful with women, not academic discourse. You are not going to disagree with a woman on all these things and then expect her to like you. Because disagreeing with all her brainly images about Iran you are simply telling her that she is an idiot. If she is an idiot, then don't date her, go and find an Iranian girl for yourself who agrees almost with everything you say! Public image of Iranians, and Muslims in general, in the West, is really bad.
Don't try to disagree with the public image. Believe me, it is not them who are really guilty for their perception. It is the Iranian regime, or Muslim countries, and to some degree the people (maybe more than the regimes) who are guilty.
OPPORTUNITIES - what then:
To meet women, you need to look for them, and use all the possible means to be exposed to places (even the Internet) where there are women. It depends on what you are looking for. You are not going to have anything but frustration if you go to an ultra-expensive club dressed and styled like an average Tehran bazaari. Try to be exposed to as many places as possible without wasting your time or making fun of yourself.
Remember that women neither like losers, nor the depressed. They are not searching for children to care for. They are searching for MEN to care for them, to protect them and to protect, eventually, their children. So, you need to be confident and have a shiny image wherever you go. You cannot have an extraordinary dress-code or style all the time, but you can have a strong positive aura around you.
THREATS - what then:
In case you are interested in protecting and preserving a relationship, then you must treat the woman with care, and love, be a strong man for the society and the most gentle of all the gentlemen she has known when treating her.
Making small gifts time to time and being careful about her simplest needs (like giving her a cup of coffee once a week) impresses women a lot and shows that you care about her. There are always threats from the competition and you need to prevent them from becoming dangerous. You need to be one step ahead of the 'market' by simply avoiding trouble and being a caring person who is not boring. That is enough for women. Women need some protection, and some entertainment, just like men. It is true that after they get older and they notice that there is almost no admirer left out there they will reduce their desires, but then again, they (the women) are human beings just like men and we need to treat them with respect at all times.
Finally, I need to say that the above is not perfect, and the separation into the SWOT sections is even more imperfect, but keeping in mind that Iranian, or Middle-Eastern, men are a bit different, I thought it would be helpful to give some small, more specific hints. One of the biggest mistakes Iranian men make when dealing with Christian women of America, and Europe, is that they are not considering the realities. Iranian men, taught and raised differently, do not yet (generally) understand that free women are not like those Iranian girls who have little access to men.
Iranian men still think that the best, and ethically-correct, way to get a woman is to go to her parents. Well, it doesn't work anymore. It was not a good idea from the start, though things have moved on and you cannot expect the same things from today's educated women in the West. Nevertheless women are women and men are men. They are different. I cannot say what Iranian women need to do in order to be successful with Christian men simply because I am a man, and I have NO idea about this matter, because I am different.
|Recently by Ben Madadi||Comments||Date|
|Nov 06, 2008|
|Nov 02, 2008|
|Sep 29, 2008|
|نسرین ستوده: زندانی روز||Dec 04|
|Saeed Malekpour: Prisoner of the day||Lawyer says death sentence suspended||Dec 03|
|Majid Tavakoli: Prisoner of the day||Iterview with mother||Dec 02|
|احسان نراقی: جامعه شناس و نویسنده ۱۳۰۵-۱۳۹۱||Dec 02|
|Nasrin Sotoudeh: Prisoner of the day||46 days on hunger strike||Dec 01|
|Nasrin Sotoudeh: Graffiti||In Barcelona||Nov 30|
|گوهر عشقی: مادر ستار بهشتی||Nov 30|
|Abdollah Momeni: Prisoner of the day||Activist denied leave and family visits for 1.5 years||Nov 30|
|محمد کلالی: یکی از حمله کنندگان به سفارت ایران در برلین||Nov 29|
|Habibollah Golparipour: Prisoner of the day||Kurdish Activist on Death Row||Nov 28|