POLYGAMY

I fell in love with a guy

I fell in love with a guy who was desperate to get out of Iran. I have been in Australia for 20 years and he told me he loves me and just want to come for a visit. Now he has taken me to the cleaners. I have spent all my earnings on blocking him from seeing my 4 year old as he is physically abusive towards her. my daughter does not want to see her. He also told me he never want to see her. Now I am married and all he is doing is spending legal Aid money ( free lawyers) to try to keep my husband from seeing my daughter. this is the only father she knows all her life. he does not have to pay my Mehriyah as I live here. I am afraid to even go back to Iran as he has informed the authorities in Iran that I was not faithful to him ( all a bunch of lies), now the worse thing is that after spending so much he gets to see his daughter on my expenses. I need to pay for his supervised visits. He lies to the authority he is only 28 and very able but as he does not want to pay child support or pay the lawyers he does not declare his earnings to the tax. THIS IS what we get for trusting and loving. So my friend from USA you are not alone and it is not only women who are doing these sort of things. Just be thankful that there is no child involved.
Thanks Mona for the beautiful quotes too.

what a bunch of horse shit

I agree with you 110 percent my man. i am an iranian who is a US citizen and got married to an iranian girl in iran and brought her here and once here she got her residency card through me everything changed and now we are getting a divorce and she is staying at my apartment which i bought way before i even knew her name and i am paying alimony every week to this b**** even though she has been here only 7 months and i been here 21 years and a citizen. also she is got the mehrieh which is almost 300 in iran so i dont even know if i can go back to iran ever because of that. These b**** f*** u anyway they can bcause of the laws in this country and they know they can take advantage of it and also in iran stupid people like me go along with the amount of mehrieh because i got married with my heart and not for money so i am sure other guys did the same but girls in iran or even here have other plans. I agree with you and men always get f***** at the end.

Reply: To Whom it May Concern . . .

A few issues to consider:

1. What does Polygamy have to do with Mehrieh? Is this a new theory? Not that I defend a mehrieh of 124,000 sekeh but then again I cant see why you say it's against human dignity? What I consider against human dignity is Polygamy & not high Mehrieh!!

2. As I said in my previous post I am totally against this statement: "In polygamy one should not blame only men". The MAIN person to be blamed in Polygamy is the married man! He has the power to decide about entering a new relationship or not!! He is not forced into a new relationship, and you cant blame the presence of young & beautiful gold diggers! For example a person 'freely' decides to take illicit drugs (eg. Heroin). Would you blame the person or the presence of Heroin?

3. Why are you making such a big fuss out of: "shoes, cloths, etc"? What percentage of monthly income is spent on these items? And something to note here is that these items are not investments!! Its not like the woman is buying shares & keeping it away from you. If a guy is nice he would appreciate his wife for looking good in those shoes & clothing & not like you which thinks that this money could have been saved for divorce settlement!!!

4. Your Ex-wife is so blessed now! I feel sorry for the time she spent with you ( Even the thought of putting up with some one like you is miserable! let alone experiencing it...) I hope now that you are 'happily divorced & have more time' you can get rid of those illogical thoughts & ideas which you are harbouring in your brain!

To Whom it May Concern . . .

To Whom It May Concern:

Read the other posts, different individuals talked about issues other than polygamy and related it to equality of men and women. Is the picture posted, related to polygamy?

The way people sounded was Iran has a problem ignoring that the so called advanced country of U.S. A has more people who believe in polygamy than us. Travel to South part of Salt Lake and Utah. Interview men and women and have them sign your petition, and then report their reaction.

It is stupid to find few cases and generalize it to the whole population of Iran. What is clear in today’s world, men are much more taken to cleaners than women. That is why the issue of Gold digger came into my reply because of its high degree of association.

Polygamy has a lot to do with Mehrehey which one person indicated was okay and she did not see a problem in having a Mehrehey of 124,000 gold coins. I have not heard of such a ridiculous number. This is against human dignity and the losers are the men who will be blackmailed for the rest of their lives which are plenty. In polygamy one should not blame only men.

The equality of men and women goes beyond the issue of polygamy which I mentioned earlier and received an answer which proves my point that women talk about equality of 50-50, but they use or abuse their 50% (case of shoes, cloths, etc.), then want 50% of men’s 50%. For women, 25-75% is more equality than 50-50%. Again, look at married couples. The lady reporter should visit Tajrish square, she won’t need a questionnaire there.

A young man of 25 years having agreed to Mehrehey of 1000 gold coin did not know any better. Mehrehey and wealth are main reasons for divorce and polygamy; their degree of correlation is high and statistically significant.

Look at dating sites, talk with single men who have wise up not to be taken to cleaners; but one still finds few fools who marry more than one woman or stay in the marriage to allow to be taken hostage for fearing of losing a house, for example.

Mehrehey cannot be good, polygamy bad, spending money on jewelry or shoes be good, and still want 50-50. Sine most of you post from the U.S., it is said there . . . you cannot have (or keep) your cake and eat it too.

As a man, I am for court written equality which is verifiable and auditable by certified auditors on a yearly basis on all grounds of eating, sleeping, sex, spending money, time wasted on the phone, etc. This will serve many or the majority of women right.

I am much happier to have paid 1000 gold coins of my Ex’s Mehrehey to get rid of her. I am happily divorced and have more time, energy, and money to help my country. My intention of writing here was in the hope of some people (young or old) learn from these discussions.

Re: Anonymous me --------

all horse shit YOU said what to do with Polygamy?
if you have sth to say, stick to the topic.

prove us right or wrong!

Reply: What a bunch of horse shit

Read below for answers to your stated bull shits:

1. There is no one to deny the presence of gold diggers. But what does this have to do with polygamy? Think about this: You are a rich guy with a wife & 2 kids. You work with a beautiful, single, & young gold digger! Would you marry this gold digger??? If you answer NO, then you have a well functioning brain (Congratulations!) And if you answer YES, it has nothing to do with the gold digger, its just you thinking with your penis and nothing else! You cant blame this second marriage on the presence of the gold digger!!! As they say in persian: Bahooneh zan-e goozoo Noon-e jo-e.

2.Comparing Jahazee with mehr is like comparing an apple with orange. Jahazz is given on the first day of marriage by the bride's family. Mehrieh no matter how big or small is something which is rarely asked for by the bride unless there is a divorce or fight. I even know of a case which the mehr was 124,000 sekeh! the couple divorced and the guy didn't go to jail. He is just paying a sekeh per month! So those who are in jail don't want to pay the lady her rights, that's why they are in jail. They want to breach the law! so the punishment is jail.

3.You said "woman spend all their money (if they work) on make up, cloths, and shoes & When it comes to divorce, women who have spent their money, want half of whatever man has" Well if you prefer your wife to spend your money instead of her money just ask her to do so. Most women are VERY happy to do so. Then when you divorce, you can have half of her belonging and she can have half of yours. (Do the maths and you will see that it doesn't make a cent of difference in divorce settlements if she spends your money on these items or her money!!)

4. Where on earth did you get this statement from: "Men can fly alone, live alone; but women cannot." I think you need to take your pills! you are not thinking straight... I will not even bother with this one, since its like proving wrong: 2+4=10! I will let the readers judge for themselves.

5. Well if men think they are paying a heavy price for marriage, then why do they marry 2,3 or 4 woman at onece? I won't even bother... I will just guide you to the answer: brain issue!

What a bunch of horse shit . . .

Sorry my French; what a bunch of horse shit stated here.

No one is addressing the issue of Gold diggers which has become the epidemic and some Iranians tried to double dip, meaning they asked for money both in the U.S. and in Iran; fortunately, the Iranians found out these thieves were double dipping. God help men if here is any children; women will milk this opportunity to no end. Ask people who have gone or are going through it. Do not bull shit here that 0.001 is this or that. Get the hell out and talk with divorced men who were taken to cleaners.

Someone mentioned Jahazee in Iran. There is NO comparison between amount of Mehreyeh and Jahazee. Many girls do NOT bring anything, while taking men hostage with their Mehreyeh.

As someone mentioned, many men are in jail because of not being able to pay Mehreyeh which has run into 500-1000 gold coins, but there is NO woman is in jail because of not bringing Jahazee.

Those girls who marry and come to the U.S. have good excuses that they cannot bring their Mehreyeh to America. Another horse shit.

Equality does not mean taking half of poor man’s belonging while having spent yours. If you are woman enough sign legal documents and stick to it; then we will see what equality of rights is.

Women who I know, sleep more, eat more (specially after marriage), work less (except on their make up) and spend all their money (if they work) on make up, cloths, and shoes. When it comes to divorce, women who have spent their money, want half of whatever man has. They call this equality.

Men can fly alone, live alone; but women cannot. Visit the Internet sites or talk to women.

Men pay HEAVY price to be married and have children. Look around HOW MANY older men do you see in comparison to OLDER women? The statistics is 100 older women to 8 older men. This is the results of equality.

Do not give me the crap of men think with shekam and under shekam. Look around again to see who is more obese stuffing themselves. Stupid men fall for these shit.

Polygamy is against EQUALITY OF MEN AND WOMEN

polygamy impact on women, children and gender equality, and it harms all three.

Husband and wife are like wings of a bird not until both wings are equally developed can the bird fly.

Unless both wings are strong and impelled by some common force, the bird cannot fly heavenwards.

In a true marriage Husband and wife must become fully united both spiritually and physically,and they must exercise the utmost care and become acquainted with each other’s character.

Marriage is union and cordial affection between husband and wife. it should foster harmony, fellowship and unity.

with Loving greetings,
Mona

Angry Unregistered Chick

You said it very well. With religion or without it that is the fact. Old days the grandmas used to say for men two belongings are the most important: stomach and the hanging part under stomach! Take care of these two; they will be puppy licking your feet! :)

Repley: A fatwa is needed . . .

There is no rule that if you have already experienced hell you will not experience it again. So no Fatwa is needed!
The question to be asked is why do men marry more than one woman if they think its hell? Well don't think hard! its clear because they are using their penis as their brain!

A fatwa is needed . . .

A fatwa is needed . . . Islam must award men for marrying more than one woman.

The award should be that once the man dies he will directly go to heaven (no questions asked). He cannot go to hell because he already has experienced it.

joke - مرد و دليل شرافتمندانه

روزي، وقتي هيزم شكني مشغول قطع كردن يه شاخه درخت بالاي رودخونه بود، تبرش افتاد تو رودخونه. وقتي در حال گريه كردن بود، يه فرشته اومد و ازش پرسيد: چرا گريه مي كني؟ هيزم شكن گفت كه تبرم توي رودخونه افتاده. فرشته رفت و با يه تبر طلايي برگشت.
"آيا اين تبر توست؟" هيزم شكن جواب داد: " نه" فرشته دوباره به زير آب رفت و اين بار با يه تبر نقره اي برگشت و پرسيد كه آيا اين تبر توست؟ دوباره، هيزم شكن جواب داد : نه. فرشته باز هم به زير آب رفت و اين بار با يه تبر آهني برگشت و پرسيد آيا اين تبر توست؟ جواب داد: آره.
فرشته از صداقت مرد خوشحال شد و هر سه تبر را به اوداد و هيزم شكن خوشحال روانه خونه شد. يه روز وقتي داشت با زنش كنار رودخونه راه مي رفت زنش افتاد توي آب. هيزم شكن داشت گريه مي كرد كه فرشته باز هم اومد و پرسيد كه چرا گريه مي كني؟ اوه فرشته، زنم افتاده توي آب. "
فرشته رفت زير آب و با جنيفر لوپز برگشت و پرسيد : زنت اينه؟ هيزم شكن فرياد زد: آره!
فرشته عصباني شد. " تو تقلب كردي، اين نامرديه "
هيزم شكن جواب داد : اوه، فرشته من منو ببخش. سوء تفاهم شده. مي دوني، اگه به جنيفر لوپز "نه" مي گفتم تو مي رفتي و با كاترين زتاجونز مي اومدي. و باز هم اگه به كاترين زتاجونز "نه" ميگفتم، تو مي رفتي و با زن خودم مي اومدي و من هم مي گفتم آره. اونوقت تو هر سه تا رو به من مي دادي. اما فرشته، من يه آدم فقيرم و توانايي نگهداري سه تا زن رو ندارم، و به همين دليل بود كه اين بار گفتم آره.

نكته اخلاقي : هر وقت مردی دروغ ميگه به خاطر يه دليل شرافتمندانه و مفيده

To All those Who Read My Comments

I want to make sure that you fully understand what my background is:

I was devoted to Mammad Reza Shah Pahlavi. Also, I am a Zartoshti, and when I was growing up, I grew up among the Jewish people.

Consequently, I developed strong negative feelings towards Islam.

Please remeber that when you are reading my comments in this blog. Thanks

P.S. I also use multiple names throughout this site. Names such as Ahmad Bahai, Anonymouspb, Anonymous2008, babakoohi, Kos Sher, and most recently, Nader Vanaki, and Kafka.

I'll keep you posted of new ones if I use them.

The Problem of Polygamy

Religious freedom or abuse?

Even the idea of Polygamy makes me throw up!

As a woman let me say it loud and clear: Death to polygamy.
For God's sake why do these men even bother getting married? Don't get married in the first place & just have open relationship with as many prostitute as you want(And yes its legal to do so, even in Iran: Just read a Sighe or what ever they call it & you will be halal to one another!)
Marrying a second, third or fourth wife equals marrying a prostitute! They are there to get paid for the service and nothing else!
Do these men think about what they are doing? Do they even have a brain?? Well certainly they do have a brain but unfortunately their brain is their penis!

For all wonderful Iranian Women

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5umNyfYgCs

What wrong?

It all depends on individuals and situations! Why do we look at the issue so narrowly? You dont have problem with married men and women dating on the side and having haroomzadeh? but marrying someone who has lost a husband and the kids need a care taker is bad? it is bad when misused it, like missuing handicapped parking permit! look at the good and bad! a happy man and sad woman! just kidding!

Javadagha: Re-read my points once again, and ..

I answer ALL your questions and expect YOU to answer mine as mentioned earlier, without beating or dancing around the bush.

-Custody of 32 kids to their mothers in entire 2007 is less than 1% of total of all custodies, however the important issue is that the old law still the same as before (custody of a child goes to father and his male family member). The 32 cases you mentioned, most probably are related to situation that: a)father, brother, grand father great grand father are not available, deceased, not qualified or are in jails, therefore, the court give the custody to mother.
-You mentioned that "the laws are changing", whenever changed let us know. For your information the Bill for not executing young offenders is in the parliament since 2002, nothing happened since then, YES it's changing, but when?. Do not borrow from future, when laws changed blow your horn, we are talking about NOW.
-Regarding 50-50 law passed in Majles, I think you are not correct, you can enlighten us by pronouncing the Bill. It must be a public Demain. Right?.
-By having women taxi driver ( there is bus driver too) or serving women faster in bakery shop, are you kidding me? is this your answere to questions about equality mentioned earlier? Read them again "porfavor".
-If there is equality, there shoudln't be any "Mehriye", therefore there shouldn't be any young men in jail. Also, remember when there is no "Mehrieye" then there is no "Jahaz".
-I do not care about Horwitz and alike, if anyone, regardless of their race, ethnicity, relegion, background etc says anything logical and right we must accept.
If anyone, including God says nonesence we must reject. Jenab Javadagha: be a man with brain. follow your heart and your logic, do not fall into Horwitz or whatever, whoever says what, use your brain. If the subject matter is logic, make sence and right, accept it. You cannot fight with facts and figures.
-You mentioned " ... stop the bull-shit ...there are much bigger problems to deal with." I say; IF WE SOLVE THE EQUALITY ISSUE, WE HAVE SOLVED MORE THAN 50% OF HUMAN'S PROBLEMS.

en taxi driver, or serving women bread

Read my points and answer them point by point.
It seems when you are in the corner , you want to runaway by

To aaj sr . . . .

To aaj sr,

You must have been away from Iran for many years, the laws are changing to give the child to mother (32 cases in 1386 or 2007 alone), in recent marriages, everything will be divided 50-50 (passed in Iran’s majles)..

Women are more harsh on themselves than men. The Taxi’s in Tehran operated and driven by women get less passengers because they charge more than others. If you are a woman, you come to a bakery (noon vai, you get served first). Court cases show 125 mostly young men are in jail because they were not able to pay their mehreh in 1387 (2007).

Recently Daivd Horwitz Center (in JewYork) made a Videotape saying similar things to what you mentioned in your e-mail, that is why I brought up the issue of Neo-con and AIPAC.

In no place that I have worked, women made less than men. You bring a case, I will work on it to get attention and corrected. So let us stop the bull-shit and do not waste time. There are much bigger problems to deal with.

to Mehdi: Yes; you are missing the point

Total combination of all those "modern"-"liberated" individuals you mentioned are less than .001% of total population, BUT that applies to BOTH man and woman equally, and historically, based on statistics these type of relations if continued, end disasterously.
To get to the point, read my reply to Javadagha.

Liberated

I find it funny that in "modern" society people are generally against "polygamy" and they usally talk about it with hatred and lack of understanding. But then they generally are more and more getting into wife-swapping, swinging, homosexuality, group-sex, pornography and the "liberated" ways of having sex. Something I am missing? :-)

to stupid JavadAgha: Islamism is Iran'a problem!

You go and F... yourself, you Arab-parast Islamist! Iranian people shall rid themselves of you and your Ayatollahs!

to:Javadagha: Learn more about 1 million signature campaigne

The issue of the article is a fact, you like it or not. This is not a made-up story created by neo-cons or AIPAC. If you are embarrassed why it's published?, then do something about it and try to change it, but do not brush it under the carpet.

The grass rout campaigne started about two years ago and so far, they may have collected many thousand of signatures.
Their issues are equality, their headquarters are in buses, street corners, knocking at doors, doctors' office, grocery stores, gas stations etc. They ask women if their rights should be half a man, if they should get permission from father or husband to obtain a passport or travel, if they want their husbands marry up to four wives, if they want their husband divorce them as they wish, if they want their husbands Sighe unlimited women ( they teach about spread of deseases like HIV), if they are happy for not being able to have custody of their children, if they are happy not being able to becom a judge or president, if they want to be told "Ya roosari ya tosari"
if they want to be stoned to death differently than a man, if they are happy when they testify as a witness, the value of testimony considered as half of a man.
Are you saying these are made up by neo-cons? or AIPAC? No sir. These are Sharia Laws and certainly I did not make them. It seems you are a concerned man, if that's the case, then do something about it.

Posted comments demonstrates that many are mentally fu-ed up

Hey GoodMan if you cannot read it is not my problem; you and others who live in the US of A have listened too much to Neo-cons and their cronies to utter non-sense. Go back and read my post, tell me where I said I am for polygamy.

Do not make this a religious issue because Mormons are Christians and many parts of Africa and China are not Islamists.

Posted comments demonstrate that many are mentally fu-ed up not just physically.

Do not bring personal issues into this . . . .

Man has an affair? With women? So it is man's problem?

Gold Diggers are very innocent!!

Please do not bring personal issues into this. Comparing the U.S. versus other countries, the majority of women/girls will be considered prostitutes in other countries.

A man, who is stupid to have more than one woman, deserves the extra misery. This should be enough punishment, so please leave the idiot man alone.

Backward Islamists are for polygamy

Men such as JavadAgha and Aloborzi are compensating for their inferiority complex. No normal man advocates polygamy; only stupid pea-head Islamiasts who come on this website to pollute it!

to: Alborzi: Ask your wife... and your daughter..

1-Ask your wife if she feels fine if you bring another wife/woman home?
2-Ask your daughter if she agrees marrying a married man? and how the first wife feels having your daughter sharing her life, husband and children?
3-Polygammy officially is banned in US as you may know!!.
4-How can you compare tea cups and teapot with such a delicate, respected subject matter?.

Yuk

Yuk to multiple wives. The way the second woman said it, it was almost like, "Look, we would have had an affair, but since adultery is a sin, we just got married instead!" as if that meant the first wife was ok with it. What a joke. I mean, how despondent does a woman have to get that she even accepts being "one" of a man's wives, instead of the one he lives and breathes for?

Anyone who thinks it's not a problem is not one of the women who have ever wanted "more" than whatever men in charge want them to have.

My husband's grandfather had two wives. Maybe that is why my husband thought numerous affairs were his right.

Bawlaw miaram.

Legalize it, in all ways.

Let there be polygamy and monogamy for both men and women. As long as all parties agree and want to do it, the government or other people have no right to dekhalat in their lives. As long as no one is hurt, let people do what they want for crying out loud. Iranians love to play the keepers of high morality, thats how we ended up with this regime in the first place.

The more the merrier

I think monogamy is un natural. It goes against nature. It is hard to maintain and increasingly difficult to find. There are more women in the world than men...this is only natural to find a 2 to one ratio (or more). Because of lack of DNA testing, societies progressively banned this practice. But think of it...what's wrong with it! Especially if everyone is happy.
Problem is, in Iran, most cases, many women enter into it unwillingly. That is what needs to be fixed.
In addition, women should be allowed to marry numerous times as well.