WOMEN

I am pretty certain that most of you know the Boys of the Republic are at their wits’ end with brave Iranian women fighting for equality so the boys are trying to turn the clock back to Khomeini era.

If you are too young to remember or you are a senior citizen but don’t care to know, up until before Khatami’s presidency music was banned, women had to either wear full chador or black scarves and loose back manteaus (long sleeve shirt dress).

During the past five years (since Ahmadinejad’s first term), they occasionally cracked down on women and arrested what they considered “bad Hejab” which according to them was not in line with Islamic dress code.

Well, no doubt you all know that the crackdowns have not been successful in scaring women and young girls. If you have traveled to Iran you have seen how brave the girls are with their puffed up platinum blond hair out of their scarves and secured on the top of the crown with a ponytail holding the scarves (quite ingenious I might add). Many have big arched tattooed eyebrows, made up eyes with bright shadowed colors, bright lipsticks, and polished longs nails.

The manteaus are short, tight and colorful and their skinny jeans and high heals put the final touches on their overall appearance.

Since the beginning of this year, there have been numerous “efaaf” seminars conducted by ugly women looking like crows in their full chadors. I am certain the brave Iranian females just brushed them off and laughed.

I dislike the first page of this site and would check it for a few minutes because they also list the most recent published books in Iran, cultural events, and post pictures of local events I love (such as narcissus and poppy fields, as well as archeological sites).

Ironically, the website is run by the pro-government (if not the government itself), and lately has been publishing tons of pictures of drug addicts injecting, smoking, or taking the drug out in the open and public places. Last week they even published pictures’ of homeless people which was heartbreaking. Surprisingly, they admitted that not all were bums and many were homeless due to the economic conditions.

You would think with such problem out in the open, there would be major efforts put forth to reduce 25% unemployment, curb inflation and try to combat drug use.
Oh no, instead, most of the efforts are made in keeping the women at home at any cost.

If you do not believe me check out this link to see Hojatoleslam’s outrageous remarks. Of course, there is no picture of him to see what he looks (perhaps he does not want to face the wrath of the women!).

He claims that God does not approve of women working because men are supposed to be the breadwinners and besides, that takes employment away from men and causes hardship! I would like to see where God declares that women’ working is not compatible with his justice! For your information, I have read the Koran and there is no such thing.

People like this man repeatedly try to speak for God and nowadays people are too educated to listen to him.

If you are over the hill like me, then you should remember that basically Khomeini tried keeping women at home being wives and mothers only and banned certain degrees for girls. As a matter of fact some of the females had to change majors while in school. One of my own friends who was a brilliant student (married nearly for thirty year to his high school sweetheart whom has no college degree), was forced to change her engineering subject to lab engineering. She has a great job overseeing a big facility with high tech glass office and commands great respect.

This fellow is truly misinformed and in the dark about the fact that women all over the world especially in Iran, have chosen Education as the weapon of choice to fight back and working has nothing to do with decline of morality or increase in divorce rate.

Most of these working women have husband and families and when they get home they are just like other housewives (actually, the real housewives these days order take out and catering!).

In case you wander how I know, the answer is simple, the women in my own family who are educated and work, are humble, dedicated individuals with great family values so this man’s statement really made me mad, and I hope someone posts a picture of him to embarrass him so he no longer makes such asinine statements.

The reason the divorce rate is high is because most parents began to think as my father did nearly fifty years ago. They also now have the same opinion as my dad which is a girl needs to be educated and become financially independent so if she ends up in a bad marriage, she can leave. I can remember my dad advocating that since I was five years old.

The reason the divorce rate in Iran is alarmingly high is because men like you preach your own brand of ancient morality which leaves no option for today’s generation to get to know each other so they can make informed decision to be married for the right reasons. Instead, they just go to the "mahzar" (register office) and get married and walk away with a marriage certificate. That gives them the freedom to travel together and go out and that is when many show their real natures which are sometimes frightening.

For the haters who accuse me of generalizing, let me look into my own backyard and give you a few example of what went wrong to end up among Iran’s high divorce statistics.

One of my first cousins is the most gentle and kind human being you will ever meet. He has three beautiful daughters. One of them was a sales person in a medical store while attending college. She fell over hill for a musician. My cousin was against the union from the beginning but his daughter was adamant that this was the man of her dream so my cousin agreed to the marriage.

He made her quit her job and school the moment she said “I do”. Then he began verbally abusing her. Being young and in love she did not say anything to her parents. Then he showed violent outburst so she left him.

My cousin hired the best attorney in town but meantime the husband came around crying and saying how sorry he was so the young girl went back to him despite my cousin’s objection.
It did not take long for him to show his old self and this time he began to threaten her that if she told on him he would beat her up so she ran to her parent’s house.

It literally took God’s intervention to obtain her divorce because he would not grant her the divorce. She had no way of providing two make witnesses confirming the husband had abused her!

I think he just wanted her to suffer. S God intervened one day in 2009.

My cousin’s wife and their daughter were walking near the police station and ran into the boy and his father. The two cowards began hitting the two women and there were enough male witnesses for my cousin to go with the police chief and pool the S.O.B out of the shower where he was hiding and drag him to sign the divorce papers.

The young, beautiful and abused girl was so distraught that she was scare to go out of the house.

I have a beautiful niece with movie star looks and happened to be very outgoing, well read and a great artist (paints). The first two years she attended school away from her parents and since she had a car, I am sure she did have interactions with boys so she thought she was making the right decision by marring a young man who lived at home and swept her off her feet.

His mother and him, through a big engagement party in her honor and brought her beautiful gifts of jewelry. They singed the papers and with marriage certificate in hand, she was able to travel and hang out with him.

Well, the true colors showed up the first week after. They were walking in the street and because she is taller than him and very attractive, men and women would look at her. So being insanely jealous he wanted to know why people looked at her and obviously the men must have been her ex-boyfriends! He asked her to stop going to English classes and began hinting that he did not want her to finish school because an educated wife is not a good thing!

Meantime, his mother who pretend she was really worldly and looked down on Iranian because they were not sophisticate enough for her taste began to agree with him that an educated wife was not necessary a good wife and that she should quit!

My nice like all the other people in my family consulted my dad and he was furious. He told her to kick his ass to the curb and get rid of him because these were signs of worst to come. She being young and in love kept going back every time he came crying and apologizing so she would take him back.

Then one day in the street he hit her and another one my nephews who happens to be a lawyer witnessed it and told the incident to her father and my dad. This was the week before I arrived in Iran for NoRuz celebration during March 2010.

When I found out I was beside myself with rage and my niece and he parents refused to give me the boys name or address for me to pay him a friendly visit and wish him a happy new year he would remember for the rest of his life.
They are in the process of getting her divorce but they want her to forgive her dowry but I told her to make him suffer and get the last touman out of him and his family and as a matter of principal and to make sure he is broke for a while so they do not do this to another girl for a while.

Another one of my firs cousins had married her own first cousin (their fathers are my mother’s brothers). He father who was my favorite uncle objected to the union but she was in love and my uncle agreed. Even though they fathers happened to be brothers, their worlds were very different.

My favorite uncle was in the army and educated. He was progressive and his first wife was a school teacher who dressed in the latest western clothing. They parted as friends when things did not work out and he married another woman. He let his kids grow up thinking that they were equal to boys and treated them the same was as his boys.

My other uncle whom I despised, was a high school drop out who got a job a guard at Khorramshahr’s Customs where all goods would go through there and he had to check the goods. He was not welcomed in our house by my dad so we did not see him except when my grandma came to visit which was every few years. He married a backward woman like himself and their kids went to religious schools and won competitions in that segment. We only saw them at Noruz when they came to pay respect to my dad and mom.

Imagine a boy growing up in this environment marrying a girl from a total opposite background. That is a recipe for disaster but it was her choice to marry him (not her dad ).

Fro 11 years they had a tumultuous relationship. He did not abuse her physically but he would cut her lashes because they were too long! He would not even let her to go to her parent’s home because they were not pious enough for him.

In March 2007 when I arrive in Iran, she and her 4 year old girl came to consult my dad and I as what to do because her won father had died of a brain tumor and her mother was no help.

My dad told her to divorce him and I promised her that better doors open to those who have the courage to leave bad situations. I told her that she was young and beautiful and she will have no problem marrying again. She divorced him, moved to Tehran with her brother and got a job working in a furniture store.

A few months after her divorce, a great man came along, married her by throwing a huge and expense party. He took her to Europe for honeymoon. He even paid he ex a large sum to get back custody of her daughter. She is very happy living with a great man and has been blessed with second child.

In case you are wondering what happened to the jerk she was first married to, he came to pay his respects to me in March 2008. The moron had married a female "talabeh" (Islamic seminary student)

You did not have to be Eisenstein to see how displeased I was to see him, my uncle and his stupid and ignorant wife. A few minutes in the conversation and I blasted him and his family for being backward and came right out and told him that I really din t care for his entire family even though his father was my mom’s brother. They were invited by my sister who is very forgiving, to come for dinner but I made sure I was not present at that dinner party. When I came back at midnight and saw them sitting there I simply said “good night” and went to bed. They invited themselves back for lunch the next day ( It think they are 8 or 9 brother and sisters!). I made sure I was at another relative’s house.

I went home when I made sure they were gone. I bet that his quiet wife would divorce my cousin in less than six month because he was an asshole and sure enough she did not last even six months.

His brother learned the lesson from this situation and after talking to me and getting assurance that educated and respected wives are more faithful, allowed his wife (my first cousin also) who happens to be tall, very beautiful with green eyes, attend engineering school and open a beauty salon as long as his household bliss was not interrupted!

She makes sure her two kids are well cared for, cooks and iron his clothes so he has no reason to complain and she manages a household, and a business while getting high grades in school. I am sure he husband who teaches sports is enjoying the fact that she make more money than he does from her beauty salon.

So, Hojattoleslam, the next time you want to express your opinion, do not talk on behalf of God. The Iranian population is now extremely educated and can read the Koran for themselves and see that nowhere God feels or states that a woman working is unjustified.

For your information Khadijeh, the prophet’s first wife, was a successful merchant who employed the profit. Also, his wife Sowda made leather goods and sold in the marker to help his ease the burden of his household’s finances.

Don’t you think if God had forbidden women to work, his prophet would have implemented his God’s order?

You want to be useful? Then tell people that instead of spending billions to fill the pockets of Saudi Arabia’s backward family, spend the money at home to create jobs and help people in their won community. Also, remind people that Iraqis slaughtered Iranians, raped women and girls in Soosangered so, do not to reward Iraqis by going there and spending billions there.

Why do not you say in your sermons that God has decreed in the Koran that you must first spend money to take care of the poor in your own family? And, in so many chapters (I remember four) requires taking care of orphans and widows first. Look around and criticize those who have poor family members yet, they think going to Mecca is more acceptable than taking care of the poor. Doesn’t God require that you must make sure your money is not needed in your own family and community first?

Why don’t you preach about not being extravagant wasting money on throwing huge religious parties to showoff and instead pay the money to the poor and needy in discreet as Islam requires?

I am tired of people speaking on behalf of God thinking that this is 18th century and Iranians are illiterate, ignorant, and will listen to anyone because he has a religious title.

By the way, educated women who work and do not depend on their husband’s income are personally more fulfilled and happier therefore; make better wives than those who depend on their husband’s income and always feel insecure. That anxiety takes a huge toll and takes away the ability to be a happy partner focusing on making a life.