veyr arr yiu goving?

Balatarin
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buna
by buna
08-Oct-2008
 

I attended tehran american school for first, eighth, ninth, tenth and eleventh grades. Baba and mom sent me away when I was sixteen, they shipped me back to the states in a C-130 hercules arranged by an iranian airforce general with an american wife who was friends with my mom. They said it was to keep me out of the army in iran, yet I was the only half-breed who left that year. They sent me to st. louis, missouri, where I stayed with a guardian family and graduated a semester early and started hitch-hiking around the states looking up old TAS high school buddies.

I hitch-hiked 30,000 miles in a year and a half and had a lot of time to stand on the side of the highway and think about things. I knew that one day an iranian would pick me up, and I would plan what I would say and do. It never happened. Not one iranian picked me up, thousands of rides and not one iranian, and I had planned the nicest scenario in case one should, but it wasnt to be.

A few years later I enrolled in the university of maryland and dropped out a year later. I dropped out and decided to hitch-hike to california, that would be more interesting than sitting in a biology 101 lecture hall with 800 other freshmen and the assistant professor on a teevee screen. This would be about 1976. so I stuck out my thumb and headed west, and then it happened, it was in tennessee someplace, and a car pulled over. I stuck my head in the window and the guy said, “ver arr yiu goveeng?” AN IRANIAN, my plan was all planned out in my head and here was my opportunity to realize it.

I affected a southern accent and said I was just going down the road a piece and was much obliged for the ride. I spoke very quickly and he kept saying, “peleez espeak eslowly, I don't anderrrstand!” and I asked him where he was from and he said, “ay em feraam de perzhia!” and I said “HUH!!!” and he said, “perzhia, eeerrran!” and I said, “oh, you mean, EYE-ran!?” and he said yes. So I says, “my roommate in college was from there and he taught me something in your fershy language,” and he said, “farsi” and I said, “yeah, cool. So my roommate taught me 'holly shoomie chatooshy'.” and he said, “i tink you arr differrent langvidge” and I said, “no, i'm sure its fershy, let me try again, “holly shooma chatoolee” and he said, “hale shome chetore?” and I said, with a thick fluent farsi, “ghorbunet beram, kheyli mamnun, to chetori!” and the guy freaked out, I had to grab the steering wheel for a second cause he almost lost control of the car.

I was laughing but he wasnt. He immediately pulled over to the side of the road and using rude and vulgar language ordered me out of his car. I protested and said I was sorry and didnt mean to scare him and he basically pushed me out of his car and left me standing in the middle of the highway with no exit ramp in sight.

Balatarin
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bout Saunders

by maziar 58 (not verified) on Thu Oct 09, 2008 09:13 AM PDT

yeah he's 52 and next time around seeing him I'll ask about that incident......
But Bill is a very decent christ loving succesful man now with a beautiful family .

PEACE


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saunders for maziar

by hitch-hiker (not verified) on Thu Oct 09, 2008 06:35 AM PDT

if saunders is 52 years old and his nickname is gophie, as in gopher, then when we were in eightth grade i gave him a hakakaka going up the stairs, thats when you put your hands togewther in prayer fashion and quickly straighten out your arms with your fingertips going straight intyo the person butt, its supposed to make the other person have to use the toilet within a few minutes, well a few minutes later gophie passed out , and was taken to the military hospital. for years he was part of my nightmare, i thought i killed him becuase they left iran soon after that.


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Buna joon, Serves you

by Didi (not verified) on Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:39 PM PDT

Buna joon,

Serves you right!

You scared the sh-- out of the guy who was driving in his own dreamworld alomg the hi way,
probably thinking of some "chelokabab soltani" and "doogh" at some kababi in Tehran...
Naghsheh at khoobi bood vali in hameh saal entzaar ...... va... akharesh ham in hameh raah raftan!!!?


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Good lesson

by Amir Nasiri (not verified) on Wed Oct 08, 2008 01:49 PM PDT

Ghorbooneh mardeh Irani naroo dafeye digeh, hahahaha

Funny story, I laughed so hard that I forgot what I was going to write about Palin and Mccain.


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Man, you're funny

by Buna Fan (not verified) on Wed Oct 08, 2008 12:52 PM PDT

I recently talked to someone from whom I had heard about your dad and without me mentioning you the first thing she said was, and yeah, he had this funny kid...


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Free traveler

by maziar 58 (not verified) on Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:25 AM PDT

in TN we've saunders (Brother & Sister) attended TAS sorry you missed them; And we still have them like eyranians but now they say: we're from KALIFORNIYA.

khoosh bashid in Praha.


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IRANdokht

sounds like fiction Buna

by IRANdokht on Wed Oct 08, 2008 09:49 AM PDT

I think most Iranians have a healthy sense of humor and unless the guy really felt insulted there is no way he would kick you out.

your story was really funny and a pleasure to read as the rest of your work that I have seen so far.

Thanks!

IRANdokht


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Princess

Thanks, Buna!

by Princess on Wed Oct 08, 2008 08:50 AM PDT

That is THE best story I have heard in a long time... I can't stop laughing.


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Nazy Kaviani

Buna

by Nazy Kaviani on Wed Oct 08, 2008 08:36 AM PDT

Heeh! You planned and rehearsed for a long time for this?! You freaked the poor bugger out of his mind! It's also likely that he thought you were a spy. Only foreign spies can speak another language without an accent (oh, wait, that is not a statement of a fact I know personally. I have seen this in the movies!)

Khoda behet rahm kard vasat-e biaboon nazadet!

Good going Buna! Good story and good telling.


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TheMrs

Joy to the world

by TheMrs on Wed Oct 08, 2008 08:30 AM PDT

Eye teenk you eslept in salt vater last nite. Yoo a beet, how yoo say…aabnokshees!   It sounds like your life is a just one story about Persheeeans after another. Very funny. That’s very Iranian you know? Even for a half breed.  

Vay vay vay, concerteh irooni beri chi mishi? Oh my God, dasto paat milarzeh age beri, full of Persians you can play pranks on. You wouldn’t know where to start!


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Jahanshah Javid

Yoo perankester!

by Jahanshah Javid on Wed Oct 08, 2008 08:22 AM PDT

yoo sertenlee deed feereek heem owt!

Loved it!


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