GOOD NEWS; this is my last blog

by Faramarz_Fateh

A few weeks ago, my wife gave me an ultimatum that if I continue my Islam bashing in any shape or form, privately or publicly, she would leave me.  We've been married 31+ years.

I did not take her seriously enough until last Sunday.  Early afternoon on Sunday I wrote a blog and shortly it was posted on this site.  Around 10pm after my wife had gotten back home from a Bahai function, a mutual friend called her and told her about my latest master piece.

After reading it, she came to me and asked me to contact JJ to remove the posting and that we needed to talk.  Since I didn't take action and our discussion got too heated without really getting anywhere she left the family room and went up to the bedroom to cool off; or so I thought.

At 1am, as I was watching TV I saw her placing 3 suitcases by the front door.  First I thought she was throwing my ass out but then I found out she was leaving to go to her sister's home in San Diego.

To make a long story short, after 2 hours of begging her to stay and promising not to write and contacting JJ via email at 3am for removal of the post, she agreed to stay.  THANK GOD. Without her I am useless as a human being.

So, for those of you who thought I was a bad writer or I was too negative or too much of an Islam and religion basher, good news:  This is my last piece.  Thank you for indulging me.  And many many thanks to Mr. Jahanshah Javid for being such a pioneer in this field for us Iranians.

God bless you JJ.  Keep up the good work.  I hope we have more and more open minded Iranians like you in many other arenas of this society.  You provide a great service.


Signing off from Los Angeles


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I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek

Easy solution! OR your money back guaranteed!

by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

If you leave, good luck to you. I could tell you took your blogs seriously and put thought into them. I wish you would stay. You are a member of the community even if we didn't agree. It'll be sad to see you go. HOWEVER if you want to stay, here's a solution:  make a new name. It will be an secret.


Rosie, yes, but

by Anonymousb (not verified) on

yes, but AnonymousZ doesn't know that his wife is a bahai, not even "in the face of an ever rising tide of fascism coming all our way"! She only pays attention to Fateh when he is defending her points, not when he is talking about his life and his family! She is already missing one of her troopers, she thinks.

rosie is roxy is roshan

Islamic Suppression..anonX..

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

she's Bahai.


Sorry to hear that

by tsion on

I hope your wife will grow to become an open minded person and be more tolerant of difference of opinion by realizing the need for it. Now more than ever, in the face of an ever rising tide of fascism coming all our way.



Islamic suppresion

by AnonymousX (not verified) on

Dear Faramarz,

One more round goes to the omni-present Islamic suppression of freedom of speech, this time done not by the mollahs, but by your own loving wife.

Let me be blunt. Your wife made it clear that her discomfort with criticism of Islam is above her love for you. Can it be interpreted in any other way? (I can see being attacked by everyone for having said this.)

It is a good think that YOUR love for her is above the need to criticize Islam. This will save your family from break up.

As I said, one more round goes to the Islamic suppression of freedom of opinion and speech.

Mehdi Mazloom

Faramarz - do go.............yet.

by Mehdi Mazloom on

I am sure you will get lots of "good wishes".  Many will give you  advise on good marriage.

Don't go please, the fun here on this forum is too tempting to leave.

As long as criticisms of bad elements on any subject are done with good heart and nature, it should be constructive one. It is those comments which are made with intentional venom, intended  to hurt someone, are then ones raise eyebrows.

Just show my post to the khanom. Tell her "agha e' Mazloom, kha-hesh mi-koneh". 

I am sure she will understand and let you come back "home".



Best Wishes...

by faryarm on

Faramarz Khan,

I have  always appreciated some of your  comments, which have come from a relatively unique angle, as the Point of View  of (muslim born) husband who is married to a Bahai lady.

It is also revealing when, your wife's sentiments and concerns negate the lies and propaganda  of the Mullahs, At a time when Bahais in Iran are wrongly accused of Insulting Islam and Anti Islamic behaviour.

I wish you and your wife and family well, and hope that these challenges will further strengthen your relationship and marriage, as a fortress for well being.




by the way

by Fatollah (not verified) on

what happened to your recent blog the one dedicated to Ayatollah's and Talabe? :-)



by AnonymousLOVER, (not verified) on

First 12-15 years they are Machos, add 5 years, then they become Kam baad Machos, add 5-7 more years, then they become a pussy cat, after that With low Testosterone, they are handicap, Gardener, baby sitter, story teller and a totally dependent like Motaad. LOL, BUT DON’T WE LOVE THEM?

rosie is roxy is roshan

My dear Faramarz,

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

I think it's lovely that some people want you to stay and of course that others say you may return, and of course it's not possible now for you to stay and of couse you may one day return.

but today is not "one day".

and of course you know all that. 

and so just for today i want to again express my happiness at your embarking on this new phase of your life. You are a humanitarian at heart and you have a great heart.


Sound familiar!

by Fatollah (not verified) on

Mine thinks I am married to Iranian! Above all, she hates the name Fatollah! ;)


"We are all in the process of learning"

by Mehrban on

I love that Irandokht, I know I am.  Mr. Fateh stay and let us see the new you.


Your wife sounds like a good

by Niki on

Your wife sounds like a good woman. Good luck in your future together.

anonymous fish

been there, done that

by anonymous fish on

wow.  you've made alot of assumptions there and if you don't mind my saying so, your conclusion is pretty "useless".  i'm quite certain Faramarz was being somewhat facetious and most of us took his article somewhat tongue-in-cheek.  but the point is that he respects his wife's strong objection to a certain behavior.

and actually i agree with kaveh... that "friend" is no friend at all. 

anyhoo... this gives me another opportunity to say "stay"!!!!!!!!!


Been there, done that

by Been There (not verified) on

Well, I haven’t read much of your writings, and the ones I’ve read I haven’t like, not that I like Islam or believe in existence of God all together, but I just thought you were too hateful to be constructive. However I want to tell you this from personal experience, if your marriage has come to a point where your spouse has to issue threats (ultimatum) of leaving you for what we’d like to write then your marriage is not worth saving. Once again I want to make sure I’m understood correctly, your wife may not like what you write, your wife may have other opinions, your wife may have Muslim friends,…, it doesn’t matter; if your marriage has come to this point that she has to threaten you to leave you because you like to write down your opinion, then it’s better to let her leave.

Better yet she should kick your ass out instead since she doesn’t seem to be working since she is going to another city on whim, and you seem to be supporting her financially. She could kick you out and have you pay up.

Think about it. You have to stay under this threat as long as you live. BUT, I’m not advocating either one of you leaving the other. If she cares about you she should argue with you, and argue with you, until her jaw falls off, but not threading you like that.

Believe me you're not a 'useless' person without her. Put yourself together man.

I hope I made my point.

Kaveh Nouraee

Mr. Fateh

by Kaveh Nouraee on

I hope that this is a temporary situation. Although it's disappointing to see you go, your decision has my complete respect.

Unfortunately, I cannot say the same about your mutual friend, who in my opinion crossed what I consider to be a sacred line by placing him/herself in the middle of your and your wife's private business by "ratting you out" to her, as the saying goes.

Until we hear from you again, all the best.

anonymous fish

i'll add my sincere wish to see you stay

by anonymous fish on

and continue contributing to  i hope that the case IS indeed a matter of changing the tone.  it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

but i'll also agree that your priorities are in order... congratulations and good luck!

peace out.


please read between the lines...

by Anonymous2 (not verified) on

The issue was probably more than just islam bashing, which by the way I loved. He was spending too much time here goofing around, and not enough time with the wife. Now he is been told, and now my boy got to go back home and take care of business. Well done!


I really don't understand

by Hajminator on

why Iranian men are then labeled as machos?

rosie is roxy is roshan


by rosie is roxy is roshan on

a slight examination of fundamental precepts, a slight shift, that's all that was needed...



all or nothing

by IRANdokht on

it's too bad that not bashing other people's beliefs translates into staying completely quiet... 

JJ has done a great job providing us all with a forum to speak up. it's up to us to learn how to speak our mind in a civilized manner and refrain from insulting others while making a point. JJ can't teach us everything...

we're all in the process of learning here. Iranians are not used to open forum discussions and exchanges of ideas. We have the chance to give it a shot and learn. That's why I am here and I hope you stay too.



Q, I agree

by Souri on

I had same questions but thought I would leave it there, as I rarely comment in these blogs. But frankly, I am curious to know the answer to those questions too !

) why didn't you just modify or delete the blog yourself?

) Are you saying you're not capable of not being an islamophobe?

Nazy Kaviani


by Nazy Kaviani on

Mr. Fateh:

Your wife has always sounded like a very reasonable and loving character through your writings. Did the ultimatum say "any writing" or just "Islam bashing?" Can't you write about other things? I'm sure when you wrote about your Blackberry she didn't mind, did she? Or when you write about social issues?

Can you go back and read the fine print and see what your "tobeh naameh" says?

All my best to you and your family and hoping to see you around again soon. I have respect for a woman who has guts, but I absolutely admire a man who loves his wife.


Fateh, I'm a bit confused

by Q on

First of all, your wife sounds like a wonderful, principled woman. You made the right choice staying with her but you probably don't need me to tell you this.

Second, why didn't you just modify or delete the blog yourself? I can modify my own blogs so I assume everyone can.

Third, I'm confused as to why you have to leave. Are you saying you're not capable of not being an islamophobe? Surely you can continue to write, but keep the "bashing" out of it couldn't you?

Fully agree with you regarding JJ. Noboy is perfect including him. But his work here is admirable in all accounts.