You KNOW you are IRANIAN when...
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You KNOW you are IRANIAN when...
12-Apr-2008
Thanks to all those who contributed.
You KNOW you ARE Iranian when...
Your refer to your dad's friends as Uncle...
You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates,and pumpkinseeds...
After a family meal, the women fight to the death
over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on
their behinds and discuss politics, waiting for
their tea...
You use your forehead and eyebrows to point
something out...
Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call
you to dinner even if you're in the next room....
You have at least thirty cousins. ...
You arrive one or two hours late to a party and
think it's normal.
You are standing next to the largest suitcases at
the Airport.
You talk for an hour at the front door when
leaving someone's house....
You say bye 17 times on the phone. ...
Your parents don't realize phone connections to
foreign countries have improved in the last two
decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs.
Your mother does everything for you if you are
male
You do all the housework and cooking if you are
female...
You still came back home to live with your
parents after you graduate...
"You cannot talk without moving your hands. And it's perfectly normal to slap yourself when you say "vaaaaaaaaaaaay khoda"
You wear high heels to Persian events, even if the event happens to be in the snow, park, race tracks, mud, rain...etc. Every event is a chance to find Mr. Shuvar.
You cannot have a "mehmooni" without dancing. Even at a bbq, at some point someone puts on "anar anar" and says woooooooooo and gets at least one other person to dance. This concept is totally foreign to westerners. Each "tavalod", "shabe eyd", heck sometimes "shabe azaa"...WE MUST DANCE. This bootey can't sit still when a "tombak" sound comes around."
-n.zanincanadai
" You are chilling with your American friend in his house when suddenly your American friend's mom brings you the phone telling you she can't understand a word your grandmother is saying.
You put away your persian rugs (new and old) in closets.
You bend the back of your shoe and use it like a slipper.
If you are a girl you highlight your hair (differently than "normal" highlights).
If you are a boy you grease your hair."
-Anonymouse
"Your parents find you "the perfect mate"(or so they claim),
insist on you "taa tanoor daagheh, khameer ro bechasboon"
marry you off,
then later meddle in your marriage and do not get along with your mate,
insist on you divorcing them,...
till you get a divorce,
and after all is done,
deny their role in any of this:" vaalaah maa keh aslan dekhaalatee nadaashteem too iin jaryaan..."!"
-Ali P.
"You think your unibrow is sexy!"
-Reza P.
"Your American date, to the 'mehmooni' , is amazed to know that "dinner is being served"...at midnight!"
-Asghar H.
"You sign up in the Salsa class, but you have no interest in actually learning Salsa!"
- IRANdokht
"You can't wait for the tempo of the music to pick up, so you can start to 'beshkan' and clap and 'gher', even if it is classical music in a ballroom..."
-abbasali
"You do not allow your guests to leave ANYTHING behind in their plates. "Taarof nakon toro khoda! Bokhor! Bokhor! Be khoda narahat misham ageh nakhori!""
-mehdi
"If you long for a green card ,but hate US!!!!!
If the first question from anybody about your children is: Farsi keh baladeh!!!
-If you had a mustashe as a child ,and you are female!!!!"
-Tahirih
"You are Iranian and therefore a poet. Because you cannot talk straight."
-JJ
"Say what?? JJ?"
-Honest Hassan :-)
From the future book, The joys and miseries of being Iranian, by Honest Hassan
(What else can you add to this list?)
| Recently by Honest Hassan | Comments | Date |
|---|---|---|
کلاس آموزشی برای آقایان | 10 | Jun 13, 2008 |
| Latest Jokes in Farsi | 5 | Jun 02, 2008 |
| Sure ways to keep them away... | 9 | May 09, 2008 |
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pat
by anonymous fish on Mon Apr 20, 2009 04:05 PM PDTi agree... from the outside looking in... virtually every one of them is true.
y'all are AWESOME!!!
I ran. ;]
by Elnaz (not verified) on Sun Apr 19, 2009 04:40 PM PDTWhen your mom gets mad at you for your friends walking in the house with shoes.
When you're having a party and one person always has to be in the bathroom at all times ;D
When your parents have lived here for 20 + years and dey still talk like dis, vhat is dey tinking??
Every thing I said here..........
by Majid on Sun Apr 13, 2008 04:05 PM PDTEverything I said in my comments comes from my very own experiences, So dont even think of my generalizing Iranians.
As a teen age boy you had a pair of "LEE" OR " rangeler" !! jeans, a pair of "kattoni-e takht sabz", a pair of high top basketball shoes "Ghoozak sefid" and a white "Captain" T-shirt, and STILL you keep a pair of Ray-ban sun glasses, just because you love them.
Your brand new "shebro" shoes were fixed with "NA'AL" on the sole and Paashne before you even wear them to delay wear and tear, were repaired with couple of "Nim takht" befor they were retired to a "dam paayee" with their back folded or cut off!
Your Mom loves you, your son
by Majid on Sun Apr 13, 2008 02:07 PM PDTYour Mom loves you, your son adores you to your face (out of TARS), your wife obeys you to avoid an argument......... everyone else think you're an A** HOLE
One last... I promise..
by Ali P. on Sun Apr 13, 2008 01:39 PM PDTNo matter how chic they were at the time,you never tell anyone your grandparents' first names, because you think it cramps your style!
I found these comments about
by Pat (not verified) on Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:48 PM PDTI found these comments about being Iranian by accident while looking for a recipe for faloudeh. I'm still looking.
I've been living with a "pure" Persian for over 30 years. We go to Iran every year and based upon my experiences with my husband and his fantastic family--EVERYTHING I read here applies. We both had a great laugh.
LOL...OK...OK...I've got a few..
by Ali P. on Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:43 PM PDTAs if there is no fast food every 3 miles, on every trip longer than 3 hours, your Mom wraps up a few "loghmeh"s, and have you take them with you!
From you deciding a major in college, to deciding what you should have for dinner, for every argument your Dad has with you, he presents some quote from Saa'adi, or some other dead poet, validating his side!
The final exam in "Literature"class, in Iran, consisted of you having to recite a long poem!!
LOL...Damn you people...!! maa ro az kaar o zendegee endaakhteed...
Hehe damkonee...LoL
by Niki Tehranchi on Sun Apr 13, 2008 11:59 AM PDTmy mom also uses them as "kohneh" (rag) to clean the house, perhaps after their career as damkonee comes to an end.
If Calvin Klein only knew!
Hubby and I have been reading all the comments and laughing all morning, thanks!!!
Your mom's pantry smells
by skatermom (not verified) on Sun Apr 13, 2008 10:57 AM PDTYour mom's pantry smells like shambalileh
There's a train of shoes by the front door
Every khaleh knows how to band your face
Elder Persians say old wives tales with such certainty like if you play basketball ghad mikeshy or nabat dagh is a cure for everything.
Damkonee
by Ali P. on Sun Apr 13, 2008 09:50 AM PDT...your Mom uses your Dad's old T-shirt to simmer rice ("damkonee").
Vodka
by Iva (not verified) on Sun Apr 13, 2008 06:33 AM PDTYou are an Iranian when you find at least one bottle of Vodka chilling in the freezer.
You know you are Iranian when .....................
by YekOYek (not verified) on Sun Apr 13, 2008 02:32 AM PDTYou are, or know someone who is a secret teryaki, and has dentures way too early as a result!!!
Love the look of your young adolescent son's silky sybil and teenage daughter's monobrow!
Only drink "Ahmad Tea", and use Narbat for bellyache!
Have salad and Coca Cola with every meal!
Think that by opening a page of Hafez, that it's going to predict your future.
Don't really like the idea of gambling but adore trying to beat the system at Las Vegas!
You worship the ground your mother/father/sister/brother stands on!
Are always too proud to admit you are wrong.
You can't stand sunbathing and can't swim.
Think you are incredibly experienced with the ladies!?!
You make sure that everyone knows that geographically and strategically Iran is the centre of the world on the atlas!
Your wife can produce a full-blown feast when your friends unexpectedly knock on your door without prior warning at midnight!
Are always looking at Iran on "Google Virtual World".
You will not be without your beloved "Lif" in the shower!
You usually smoke like a train.
You refer to the toilet as "Khomeini's Office"!
Your wife/husband reminds you what a loyal, caring, generous and incredibly handsome/beautiful person you are, both in mind as well as body!!!
You are ...if
by Majid on Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:33 AM PDTYou're male, past 55 and your eye-brows look like azalea bushes.
You're male , past 55 and you need to take your ears for a haircut once a month.
You bring your girl friend home for the first time and your mom stares at her while showing a face like somebody just farted under her nose! and looks at you chap chap.
You go for a half a day picnic but the amount of food you take is enough to feed an army.
Every "ghaablome" in your kitchen has been used as a "dombak".
You have a "divaan-e haafez" , a "kollyaat-e Shams" and a "Shaahnaame" in your book case and the last time you read them was........... NEVER
I'll think more later
Add these points too ...
by koorosh-e Saghir (not verified) on Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:11 AM PDT- There is no date of birth in your biography if you have your own site.
one only reads where she/he was born but never when !!
especially those who are over 40 would never mention this ...
- They all love Googoosh and their favorite actor is Al Pacino ...
Funny~! ;D
by kameron (not verified) on Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:57 PM PDTFunny~! ;D
But, a lot of this stuff doesn't apply to 2nd generation EYE-RAINY-ANS!!!!!
You are Iranian if your
by n.zanincanadai on Sat Apr 12, 2008 08:05 PM PDTYou are Iranian if your parents think your "unja" is a jewel e.g. boobool tala ...And you not only beleive them but you seceretly like it and grow up to call it SHEMSHEH TALA!
To: Nikki Tehranchi
by Ali P. on Sat Apr 12, 2008 07:45 PM PDTLOL...have you been to MY house????
Spooky...
LOL...
LOL Niki
by IRANdokht on Sat Apr 12, 2008 07:38 PM PDTThat was really good! Especially:
You expertly like to judge the color of your tea in your glass like a sommelier would analyse the color of red wine.
I do that all the time!!! :0)
IRANdokht
You are Iranian if...
by Niki Tehranchi on Sat Apr 12, 2008 07:16 PM PDTYou offer small cucumbers to your guests like they are fruit.
You buy kabab hot off the grill from the parking lot of the Super Irooni where you just did your groceries.
You think ice cream is icy noodles drenched with a lot of lemon juice (faloudeh/paloudeh).
Your freezer is full of grandma's khoresht karafs.
You snack on pumpkin seeds all day long.
You begin your day with tea, not coffee.
You rather drink 10,000 tiny glasses of tea than put yourself out of your misery and just pour the desired amount of tea in one big mug.
You expertly like to judge the color of your tea in your glass like a sommelier would analyse the color of red wine.
You have a PhD but you still go to the fal-geer .
You're an atheist but you still believe in the evil eye.
Your grandma doods essfand for you over the webcam.
Everytime you give a compliment, you follow it by knocking on wood.
:o)
That's us! :-)
by Ali P. on Sat Apr 12, 2008 02:59 PM PDT"I have never seen people this proud. You know the old Persian Empire? 2500 years ago? Well, to this people, it was yesterday"
Marlin Fitzwater, former press secretary to presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, who actually lived in Iran in the 70's
The best one
by Anonymously :) (not verified) on Sat Apr 12, 2008 02:26 PM PDTYou are enraged when the Persian Gulf is called the "Arabian Gulf" but care (a lot) less about human rights abuses in Iran.
from JJ
I think that's one thing we can all work on, the rest come with the genes :-) especially sang-e-paa LOL