You KNOW you are IRANIAN when...

...you tell the young lady you are on a date with ( a few small lies):

1) They are always offering me these cute girls from back home, to marry, 25 years my junior, but I don’t want that.

2) Oh, well...My father tried telling the Shah, but he didn’t listen.

3) I had to end it; she was falling in love with me, big time.

4) Everybody thinks I am Italian.

5) I am staying with my parents because my mansion is being remodeled.

6)I have only dated models.

7) I am practically divorced.

8) They fired me because I was Iranian.

9) Oh, that? That was a green card marriage. It really doesn’t count!

10) My Mercedes is in the shop. This crappy car is a friend’s.

11) Oh, oh,....They’re calling me from “work”. I have to go now…there is an emergency, the network is down.

12) I’ll give you a call!

...you tell the gentleman you are on a date with ( a few small lies):

1) They did offer me a modeling job, but the industry is so sleazy, I had to say no.

2) I have sooo many khaastegaars, but I said No to all.

3) Of course I am a virgin.

4) I have been here for 2 years, but I have forgotten Farsi!

5) I don’t care about a man’s money. I want a real man!

6) My grandfather was Reza Shah's best friend.

7) My shenaasnaameh name is " Soghraa", but everyone calls me "Brigitte".

8) All my friends have some “work” done; not me!I believe in staying natural.

9) We had 5 nokar and kolfat and raanandeh in Iran.

10) Who ?Hassan? Oh, please, we were just friends.

11) Yes, I am always mistaken for Salma Hayak.

12) Oh, it’s my Mom calling. There is an emergency. Maamaanbozorg ghash kardeh…gotta run.