You KNOW you are IRANIAN when...

No matter how crappy

No matter how crappy something is, Iranians will always find a way (or at least try) to portay it as if it was the best in the world.

By the way: reading all these comments I cannot help but feel immensly proud of Iranian culture. It's one thing to be aware of all these things but another to joke about in a way that makes everybody laugh yet offends nobody.

At your wedding you are an

At your wedding you are an engineer, a doctor or a lawyer but six months later it turns out you are a cab driver.

Westerners look at your

Westerners look at your wedding pictures and are impressed at the royal look of the whole thing (clothes, poses, etc) but wonder why nobody is smiling and you look so exhasted in all the pictures!

action v. no action

You go out of your way, refering to every female friend your son has,as "doost-dokhtaresheh"( you go boy!), but your daughter's boyfriend is refered to as "doostan faghat baa ham"( nothing funny going on here)!

You bend the back of your

You bend the back of your shoe and use it like a slipper.

Best addition by NazanineCanadie

Oh I agree....High heel shoes and make up to all events..sizde bedar, beach....Also the mispronounced words:
Masej!!!
Perfesional
I am gon-e'
Esteev
Ferank
Estarbuck
Nordestorom
and last but not least, you are Persian if you pronounce Persian Per-she-an

You put away your persian

You put away your persian rugs (new and old) in closets.

Some more!!

_if all your parents friends and relatives ask you what you want to be when you grow up, and you are only 12!!!!!

_If the first question from anybody about your children is: Farsi keh baladeh!!!

-If you cook all day to provide a feast for your guests,but when you are serving ,you say khoda margam bedeh ghabeleh shoma ro nadareh, kheyli khob nashodeh!!!

-If you think your mother is better than your mother in law!!!

-If you had a moustash as a child ,and you are female!!!!

-If you have a good sense of humor.

_If you think having big eyes and thick eyebrow is the standard of beauty(for male and female).Unibrows are a must, to make it comlplete!!

_If people look at your wedding picture and say who is she? since there is so much make up on your face that you look like someone else!!

I love this ,I can go on and on.....,I must stop before getting accused of being an  Iranian hater!!!!

Tahirih

As a young Iranian in US

As a young Iranian in US you don't know anything about Islamic stuff in Iran.  You hear your parents and their friends talk about politics all the time but you don't understand any of it.

It is worse when your parents talk to you like you know everything about Shah and Khomeini.  You only know about dancing and embarassing mehmonees.

You are a poet

You are Iranian and therefore a poet. Because you cannot talk straight.

You don't know what to do with the handi crafts.

You don't know what to do with the handi crafts.

Whether you are buying or giving handicrafts for presents, you are not sure what they are good for.  You are less sure what to do with it when you receive as a gift. 

Sometimes you re-gift the handi crafts.

...You are iranian if you

...You are iranian if you quite simply...ROCK (even with all your complex behaviour and contradictory beliefs)

Persian Gulf forever! (Prisoners can die)

You are enraged when the Persian Gulf is called the "Arabian Gulf" but care (a lot) less about human rights abuses in Iran.

You tell everyone you are NOT an Arab.

You tell everyone you are NOT an Arab.

No one asks you but you volunteer this information.

You buy a camcorder from

You buy a camcorder from Costco and return it after 6 months of use in order to get a free upgrade and you think you are smarter than the owners of Costco!

You do not allow your guests

You do not allow your guests to leave ANYTHING behind in their plates. "Taarof nakon toro khoda! Bokhor! Bokhor! Be khoda narahat misham ageh nakhori!"

My list

_If you have at least 3 family members with nose jobs!!!

_If all your dark cousins ,are blonds and are looking like someone else by age 40!!!and denying plastic surgery!!!

_If you think whites can not grasp math!!!

-If you blame everything on others,and never criticising yourself!!!

-If you are the best friend and worst enemy.

_If you long for a green card ,but hate US!!!!!

_If you think your political view is the correct one and you sweat when you talk about it!!!!

I liked the idea, I can go ,on and on....

Tahirih

Ali P!.....:o)

Hehe, that was a good one!!! (They also say "Har dokhtari faghat yek Baharee dareh" to get the girls to settle down, in Phase One)

Beshkan

You can't wait for the tune of music picks up, so you can start to 'beshkan' and clap and 'gher', even if it is classical music in a ballroom...

Stop it!!

LOL..yo'all are killing me!
LOL..

You re-use the tea bag.

You re-use the tea bag.

Dinner!

Your American date, to the 'mehmooni' , is amazed to know that "dinner is being served"...at midnight!

You cannot have a mehmooni

You cannot have a mehmooni without dancing. Even at a bbq, at some point someone puts on anar anar and says woooooooooo and gets at least one other person to dance. This concept is totally foreign to westerners. Each tavalod, shabe eyd, heck sometimes shabe azaa...WE MUST DANCE. This bootey can't sit still when a tombak sound comes around.

You are chilling with your

You are chilling with your American friend in his house when suddenly your American friend's mom brings you the phone telling you she can't understand a word your grandmother is saying.

Sexeau..

You think your unibrow is sexy!

Best Kabaab

Your Dad makes the greatest kabaab, but claims would not give the secret recipe` away, even if taken to Guantanamo!

Then one day you accidentally hear him telling his long, lost friend, from back home, on the phone, giving it away:"...faghat yeh zardeh eh tokhmehmorgh besh bezan ghabl az iinkeh beh seekheshoon bezanee..."!

You make fun of your

You make fun of your parent's accent.

Your parents were best

Your parents were best friends of the Shah.

You keep talking to your

You keep talking to your cellphone waiting outside instead of coming inside the house.

Your hair

If you are a girl you highlight your hair (differently than "normal" highlights).

If you are a boy you grease your hair.

You either claim you know how to cook and don't know how to cook, or you strenuously claim you don't know how to cook even an egg!