Arab & Islamic Customs. Advise to Westerners

Arabs and Muslims are very diverse and come from many countries. Some of these countries have strong ancient tribal traditions. You have to
decide for yourself where to appropriately apply some of these thing. (this paragraph is courtesy of annonymous8)

1. While raising the thumb up. Here in US, it means "OK", "all right", or "approval". In Arab countries and Iran it viewed, as raising your middle-finger in US.

2. Never tell Arab women "you are dressed nice today" , they are not used to this king of comment.

3. If you ask an Arab-Muslim to show you where is the nearest restaurant. Their kindness and hospitality, is unmatched anywhere else in the world. Not only he will take you there. He will also, invite you to lunch or dinner and pay for it. You will insult him if you refuse his offer.

4. If an Arab-Muslim in an Arab country senses that you have no place to stay overnight. he will invite you to his home. Will offer you food before his own children. He will offer you his own master bedroom to sleep on, while himself and his wife(vies) sleep on the floor. NO, it is not a sense of inferiority complex on his part. It is just an act of kindness. You better remember this gesture, because he will never remind you of it, nor he will ask any favor in return.

5. Negotiating with Arabs, never wear sunglasses - even in scorching sunlight. Privately, Arabs by their basic nature, are polite and timid. They wants to see your eyes, to gage your intentions. And they know how to read them.

6. Sitting on chair across from other Arab Muslims, never cross your legs, such that it may show your soles. It will be construed as an extremely impolite gesture to those sitting across the room.

It explains why we don't see Arab leaders on TV, cross their legs sitting with foreign dignitaries.

7. When negotiating with Arabs, never talk business first. They need time to feel comfortable with you, and your presence, before committing to anything.

8. Exiting or entering, Your Arab counterpart will Always offer you to leave the room first (he even will shove you forward). Always reciprocate the same to him. This is a very common practice of courtesy in Arab-Islamic world (and some western world). Two explanation for that.

a) It is impolite to show your back to the other guy.

b) In old tribal days, where everyone in the Arab world was carrying the shabaria (dagger). one might get stubbed in the back.

9. "Mar-ha-bah". "Shukram" “Kayf haalak in Arabic, or “ghor-baan” “be-farma-idd . These are words of greetings. Use these words as often as you can.

10. A prominent form of greetings is kiss on the cheek (instead of hand shake). Get use to it. It is an act of kindness and friendship. much like a handshake in the west. Kiss on your shoulders, is the ultimate gesture of respect and honor towards you. DO NOT misconstrue it as anything other then kindness on his part.

11. if you wish to say "No" to an Arab, never say, "umm, I don't think so". Say NO, or YES.

While your "I don't think so", it means "No" in US. In Middle East it means "I am not sure of myself", and they will interpret it, just that.

12. As a Westerner staying in an Arab-Muslim country, two subjects you wish to avoid discussing.

a) Religion: Arab-Muslims are taught that, Islam is "superior" to all other religions, and Qur'an is the "Perfect Book". Therefor, Westerners are not worthy of listening to their view on religious matters.

b) Politics: Arab-Muslims in ME & Gulf live under oppressive dictatorship (Military or religion). You never know if the guy sitting in front of you in a coffeehouse or the one behind him is not a government informer.

13. Beside their politeness and hospitality, Arab-Muslims are very sensitive people. They can turn from love-you-to-death, to red hot hate-you-to-death in an instance.

Not only be careful of WHAT you say to them. Also HOW you say it, and to WHOM you say it.

Social hierarchy which is manifested through "Honor", and "respect", is a VERY important element in their daily lives. Social gestures, greetings, and deference to elders is paramount. In a social gathering you better focus your attention, and respect to the eldest member of the family first.

14. If an Arab-Muslim man seats, or stands too close to you. Don't worry, it is unlikely he is a homosexual. The average distance between people in that region is shorter then that of Western countries. It is just the custom there.

15. If you see two Arab-Muslims teen aged boys, or girls walking in the street holding hands. It means they are very close friends. Not Gays, nor Lesbians.

16. In a social gathering with Arab married couple. Never ever look at the man's wife more then a split second at a time – even when she talks with you. Make sure the man feels HE IS the head of the tribe.

17. If an Arab or Muslim stranger calls you “my friend”. Before you jump your guns with rude response “I am not your friend.”. Please note, all he means, is to convey a gesture of courtesy, social decorum, and non-combative approach toward you.