زنِ خمینی مرد


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زنِ خمینی مرد
by Multiple Personality Disorder
23-Mar-2009
 

فقط می خواستم بگم که منتظرم که یک خبر مهم ِ جدیدِ احمقانهء دیگه از ایران برسه و من یک بلاگِ احمقانهء دیگه در بارش بنویسم، ولی خبر ِ مهم ِ جدیدِ احمقانه ای نیست.  البته خبر زیاد هست ولی لایق ِ بهدر دادن وقط من نمیشه چون من وقطم را فقط و فقط برای خبرهای <مهم>،  <جدید>، و <احمقانه> بهدر می دم، و گر نه من می بایست شب و روز اینجا بشینم و هی بلاگِ احمقانه بنوسم، که اینطور که نمی شه.  این رئیس ِ بدبخت من هم خوب بدبخت مسئولیتی داره و نگران میشه که من چکار می کنم و چرا وقطم را برای کارهای غیر اداری بهدر می دم تا کارهای اداری.

بهر جهت همانطور که گفتم، یا نگفتم، خبر زیاد هست، مثلاً خبرگزاري فارس گفته: يك روزنامهء روس نوشته : رهبرانِ ايران به درخواست بهبود روابط رئيس جمهوري آمريكا پاسخ رد داده و اين مسئله را تا تغيير واقعي سياست واشنگتن و خودداري از برخوردهاي خصمانه امكان پذير نمي دانند.  خوب من چه بگم؟  آخه من نمی دونم مگه خبرگزاري فارس خودش نمی تونه بگه که رهبر ِ ايران به آمريكا پاسخ رد داده؟  و در ضمن، چرا می گن <رهبرانِ ايران>؟  مگه نمی دونند که جمهوری الکی ایران فقط یک رهبر داره و بقیه یک سری انسان های صغیر هستند که مثل گوسفند به یک چوپانِ دروغگو احتیاج دارند.  بهر جهت این خبر ِ خبرگزاري فارس اصلاً لیاقت این را نداره که من وقطم را براش تلف کنم.

خوب این یک خبر دیگه: بر اثر انفجار بمب در غرب شهر بغداد، هشت نفر كشته و 16 نفر ديگر مجروح شدند.  چی بگم!  این خبر اصلاً احمقانه نیست‌ و خیلی جدی یه و در ضمن خبر ِ مهمی هم هست، ولی، بدبختانه، یا خوشبختانه برای رئیسم، این خبر ِ جدیدی نیست، و با جدید منظورم اینه که یه خبری باشه که تا حالا اتفاق نیفتاده باشه یا خیلی کم اتفاق افتاده باشه.  خوب هشتا که چیزی نیست!  من از این بیشترشو دیدم و چیزی ننوشتم، حالا چرا بیام وقط رئیسم را بیخود برای هشت نفر مردهء عراقی هدر کنم.  اگر ایرانی بودند یه چیزی.  حالا راستی چی شد مجاهدین خلق، به رهبری مسعود خان و مریم جان، دیگه بمب نمی ذارن؟  حالا می گم اگه این مجاهدینی ها یه بمب بذارن و هشت نفر ایرانی، نه عراقی، را بکشند، یا بقولِ آپوزیسیون به درک واصل کنند، یا بقولِ ملاها شهید کنند، اون وقط می شد یک خبر جدیدِ احمقانهء مهم، ولی حیف.

خوب اینم یک خبر دیگه: زنِ خمینی مرد.

آخه چی بگم؟  خودتون رحم داشته باشین.  همین چند روز ِ پیش بود که یک بلاگ نویس جونشو تو زندانِ اوین از دست داد.  من که جرعت ندارم چیزی بگم، رئیسم هم از من ترسو تره.


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