This bank is for ladies only


This bank is for ladies only
by Multiple Personality Disorder

Don’t be afraid, come on in, come on in.  There are no men in this bank.  Yes zaeifeh khanom, in this bank pervert Iranian men are not allowed.  We’ll safeguard your money, and we’ll safeguard your virtues while you’re here.  In this fine establishment no one is going to touch your deposits, or withdrawals.  Your Jewels of the family are safe with us.  Come on in, have a cup of hot tea with our fine all-female staff.  They’ve all been thoroughly checked, rechecked, and triple checked already to make sure they are truly females, to make sure they don’t have any doodool’s under their chadors, and they don’t.  We are sure of it.  If you don’t believe us, please feel free to check for yourself.  Also, they are not lesbians, bisexuals, or non-sexual.  We have made sure that they are all females in the true sense of the word, that they have sex as women every night, with their husbands of course, and that they enjoy it too, as women.  Also, I hope you noticed that even our security guard is a female.  No ma'am, we don’t want to have any male security guards here, in case they might attack our female customers, instead of protecting the bank.

Yes ma'am, we are here to promote Islamic culture, which quite clearly understands that all men are inherently after one thing, and one thing only, women’s virtues.  No ma’am, they don’t come to banks for finantcial transactions; they come here for other types of transactions, the kind that happens between a man and a woman under the blanket, and the way it starts is in taxis, parks, schools, and beaches; and we are going to put a stop to it.  We are going to ‘promote a culture of chastity and increasing security for the participation of Muslim Iranian women in society’, because up to now women were trapped in tents, but now they’re coming out and need to go to the bank, so we’re going to build exclusive banks for them.

Yes ma’am, segregation of sexes is good.  Commingling of men and women is pure corruption, no matter how much Islamic dress code can be observed in public.  Yes, soon we’ll solve all social ills by segregating everything and everyone.  We are right on the schedule to create two countries, one for men and another for women.  We already have segregated schools, university classes, taxis, buses and trains, parks, wishing wells, sea side beaches, swimming pools, toilets and so on, and so forth, and we have borders at some locations established already.  In some places it is a moving border, like in segregated buses and metro trains; but soon we’ll have permanent borders, like in separated beaches.  Soon there will be treaties between the Islamic Republic of Iranian Males (IRIM) and the Islamic Republic of Iranian Females (IRIF).  As part of these treaties rules of engagement will be defined, and so is sphere of influence and trade.  Things like, "I’ll let you touch my virtue so what are going to trade for that", will be well defined.  Of course major transactions such as sleeping with the enemy requires pre-approval from the Supreme leader of the IRIM, and from batool khnoom from the women's side.

We won’t have day and night till we segregate everyone and everything.


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Good one Majid

by divaneh on

That was very funny. I agree that they should only get 50% of whatever they save as instructed by god. There is also issue of the cheque books and the women signatures that is half a man's signature resulting in many bounced cheques.



by divaneh on

Excellent satire as usual. Although you are trying hard to sell the idea, I think it is impractical as there will be no man on the premises to control these women.

I have to admit that when I first heard of women bank, I thought it was something like blood bank and was quite excited. It seems that I have to wait a little longer before IRI establishes one of those for fat Haaj Aghas to deposit their extra wives on high yield schemes.





آخه زنی که شهادت و گواهی ش  نصف یه مرده ،حق ارث ش نصف مرده، حق سرپرستی جگر گوشه هاش رو نداره، اجازهء خروج از کشور بدون موافقت مردش رو نداره...............رو چه به حساب بانکی باز کردن؟

اگه من بودم به ازاء هر یک میلیون که زنها به حساب میگذاشتن براشون پونصد هزار تا واریز میکردم و بقیه اش رو بحساب مرد اوّل « آسید علی آقا» میگذاشتم تا اینا باشن دفعهء دیگه زن بدنیا نیان!

اصلاً میدونین چیه؟ اینا رو باید همون لحظهء بعد از تولّد زنده بگور کرد ضعیفه های ناقص العقل رو!

maziar 58


by maziar 58 on

Ms. yolanda to your Q on:  So if a married couple get on the ....

I'll tell you the joke in persian and you will've to get the translation from some of your persian friends.

In Tehran as you enter the public Buses you'll present your ticket to get in and as separate entery for male in the back and the females in the front door to get in......

The joke goes like this : the couple catch a Bus in downtown Tehran and the Husband gives the man 2 Tickets and yells to his wife :man az aghab daddam,tu digeh az jeloo nadeh.            Maziar



by yolanda on


    Thank you for your eye-opening blog.....I read every word......actually segregated toilets are great...if the toilets are not segregated, I will be afraid to go....everything else sounds like an apartheid to if a married couple gets on a bus, they have to be separated?...that is no fun at all.....are there any beaches for married people?

This part cracked me up:

we don’t want to have any male security guards here, in case they might attack our female customers, instead of protecting the bank.


Hopefully, Apartheid will end soon!