Full-page ads


Full-page ads
by Multiple Personality Disorder

Not to be outdone by the Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel’s full-page ad in the New York Times; Reverend Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have taken a full-page ad in the Chicago Tribune, calling for affirmative action for black minorities in Iran.  It is stated in the ad that for centuries blacks in Iran have been discriminated against, laws specifically have been in place against Iranian blacks, which now repairs should be made to fix the damage.  The ad continues to add that if affirmative action is not in place in Iran soon, Iranian blacks will not be able to find a job at all.
Meanwhile, Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Governor of California took out a full-page ad in the Sacramento Bee asking, telling, the government of Iran to start constructing fitness centers throughout Iran.  In this ad he outlined a five-step program for achieving his goal of shaping up the Iranians.  Most importantly he is asking for diversion of a large portion of nuclear development funds towards the private sport sector of the Iranian economy for construction and development of exercise facilities.  The ad suggests making Hossein Rezazadeh the head of Alliance for Bodybuilding, Activities, and Stretching (ABBAS) organization.
Hugh Hefner, not to be outdone by these sex deprived self-promoting full-page ad advertisers, took a full-page ad of his own in the Playboy magazine, calling on the Iranian government to immediately legalize public nudity in the entire Iranian territory, specially in Qom and Mashhad, stating that once naked people were to be allowed to visit Iranian holy sites, all ills of society would be solved.  The ad added that Iranian society suffers from sexual frustrations, too many gorgeous bodies are trapped under tents, the ad said, thereby forcing people to release their frustrations in harmful ways such as en masse demonstrations, instead of mass orgies.
Bill Clinton also took a full-page ad in the Washington Post yesterday and once again declared that he did not have sex with Monica Lewinsky, but continued to say that was beside the point, and the point he was trying to make was that the Iranian clerics in charge of Iran must allow their weak wives to participate in political processes, specifically women should be allowed to run for presidency, as his wife, Hillary Clinton, did in 2008, but he stressed that an Iranian woman most likely would have a better chance of becoming the president of Iran than his wife one day becoming the president of USA (he didn’t exactly say it like that, but that’s what he meant).
Meanwhile, George W. Bush (the dumber one) took out a full-page ad in the Texas Big Horn Daily and called upon the Iranian government to fully surrender to the American forces in Afghanistan and Iraq, or else as soon as his brother, Jeb, gets elected as the next president of USA he’d ask him to expand the war on terror to include the evil doers hiding in caves in Iran.  The ad continued to say that he was the decider and he decided to finish off the Iranian regime when he was the president had it not been for the failures of Ronald Rumsfeld.  There was also a quote from the big dick Dick Cheney that stated that George W. Bush was a good man, it was his advisors that ruined his reputation.
Not to be outdone, Vanna White took out a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times stating that she would like for Iranian government to start a television game show called charkh’e servat where every weekday three governmental security agents would participate in the thirty-minute game show, where their luck and knowledge would be put to the test, but at the same time through careful selection of some word puzzles they’d be taught how to more humanely treat their fellow countrymen (women, children).
At the same time, not to be outdone…


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more from Multiple Personality Disorder

Excellent one page blog

by divaneh on

Dear MPD, thanks for the good laugh. Funny and to the point as usual. Perhaps the dear Rahbar should also take out a full page and tell everyone what to do with Doshman.

mitra northcal

Another great satire from MPD

by mitra northcal on



As always MPD is great in satire.  One especially funny part is where MPD is writing about "Hugh Hefner" and he notes:"...The ad added that Iranian society suffers from sexual frustrations, too many gorgeous bodies are trapped under tents, the ad said, thereby forcing people to release their frustrations in harmful ways such as en masse demonstrations, instead of mass orgies."

Ari Siletz

IC Pulitzer for satire goes to MPD

by Ari Siletz on

Flawless commentary on Wiesel's fool page ad.



by Princess on

as always.

Thanks for the laugh, but I can't believe you've left Palin out. You have no idea how often I have cursed McCain for putting her on the political map, but I wouldn't have minded, if you had included her in your satire.




by yolanda on

Hi! Nazy,

     That is a great idea. LOL! I hope JJ will give you a big discount for your ad! :O) 

Nazy Kaviani

Very funny, MPD!

by Nazy Kaviani on

Az khandeh mordam! Excellent satire! How do you do this, I'd like to know! Maybe I should take out a full-page ad in Iranian.com to complain about why you are so clever! Thank you!



by yolanda on

Hi! MPD,

    I have clicked on all the links in your blog. Arnold's photo cracks me up 'cause his arms are literally bigger than my legs! His muscles are so out of proportion, it is scary!

    It is amazing that Bill Clinton has more faith in Iranian women than his own wife! It is a good sign! Maybe Clinton is right 'cause US has never had a female president...The Philippines got 2 female presidents already......Germany got one and UK got one....