I Yearn For Your Calm Embrace


I Yearn For Your Calm Embrace
by Multiple Personality Disorder

Bahareh Hedayat is an Iranian student activist, women's rights activist and campaigner for the "One Million Signatures for the Repeal of Discriminatory Laws", member of the Central Council and spokeswoman for Daftar Tahkim Vahdat.  She was arrested on July 9, 2007.  On August 9, 2007 she was released on bail.  She was again arrested and released in 2008.

In 2010, she was arrested and was sent to Evin Prison, Ward 209, for the fifth time.  Branch 28 of the Revolutionary Court confirmed her sentence of nine-and-half years imprisonment.

In a letter written from prison she expresses her thoughts, worries, admiration, and apprehensions to her husband, Amin Ahmadian, political activist and member of the Islamic Alumni Association.

See here for an English translation of Bahareh Hedayat's lertter by Banooye Sabz.  Also see here, Rosetta Stone, for translation of her letter into other languages.  


I Yearn For Your Calm Embrace

I yearn to know where you are,
how your days go by,
when you awake,
when you bathe,
what you wear,
when you go to work.

Are you bored, tired, sleepy, or cold?
The air is polluted,
do you smell the dust in the air?
When you go to work,
is it still dark when leave?
How is the light in the stairway of our house?

I can't remember,
our building,
what were the colors of the stones!
You reminded me once before,
I can't recall!

Where do you sleep at night?
How do you wash your clothes?
Since my captivity,
have you made any new friends,
whom I don't know yet?
Whom did you fight with,
that I don't know about, yet?
What do you read, who do you listen to?
Still on Internet until morning dawn!
I yearn to know about your days,
where and what you buy.
Any veggies or fruits!
It is summer time, is it not!
Cantaloupe, strawberry, green plum, watermelon, apricot!
What a delight!
Love them all!

Do you still get a headache when your tea is late!
Your cell phone is out of charge!
You forgot again!
Still wash your hair in the sink?
Eat yogurt with dry bread?
Have you bought yourself a briefcase yet, a new shirt?

I yearn to know,
what do you think of,
when you think of me?
What do you ache to know,
whenever you think of me?

When you shop for me,
what do you think about?
What do you recall of our times together?
Are you wary of our anniversaries?

Do you remember,
it was in June,
when I came to Majideyeh, for the first time.
And then, you showed me Isfahan,
my first time.

Do you remember,
those days we walked the streets just to be together.
Do you remember,
the sunsets in Saei Park?
Do you remember Zav,
the old days when you took me to Darband?
Do you remember we went with Ahmad, the last time...
Spring of 2008?

Do you remember my cooking?
Don’t even remember it myself, anymore!
Do you recall how,
piece by piece,
we bought our own furniture?
Do you remember,
Norooz in 2008,
we went to Caspian Sea,
went to the beach.
Ahmad was there.

Do you recall,
June 6th, 2002,
you gave me the ultimatum,
told me to move on with my life.

Do you recall,
June 2006,
the first time I was released from Evin Prison.

Do you recall,
March 9th, 2007,
I went to the Central Council for the first time.

Do you recall,
August 8th, 2007,
the day that,
at the sunset,
I was released from prison.
At the stairway landing of my father’s house,
you said, “Wait a second…”
You said,
“In this last month,
while you were gone,
I came to my senses."
"I can not live without you anymore,” you went on.

March 7th,
do you remember it?
You do,
I know.
It was seven-and-half years ago.

I miss everything...
Every bit of my existence is in pain,
as I yearn for you.

I am tired of all these little dreams that are choking me.
Do you know what it is?
I know you know…
you don’t know how it feels to be held in this damned cage.
In the last year,
I followed three people,
passing in front of my eyes to their demise,
under the dirt,
two of whom,
particularly the last,
were of angelic virtues.

You don’t know how it feels...
I wish you would never know...

My heart yearns for your calm embrace…


Your Bahar,

9, June, 2011
Evin Prison


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by yolanda on

OMG! This is the most interesting thread of entire IC......so we will have more versions of the same letter in:





That will be so cool!!! Yeah!

Soosan is right:

when it comes to "Love" we all speak the same language ......


Just checked the other thread, they are still arguing if NIAC is pro-IRI or not......after 377 posts, no conclusion yet, I guess they are having a hung jury! (Sorry for the side-track!)


Soosan Khanoom

Language of Love

by Soosan Khanoom on

More than anything else this is a love letter and when it comes to "Love" we all speak the same language ......

This translation project is such a great idea because words that come out from heart go straight into the heart ... no matter in which language they have been written and translated .....

It is going to be beautiful cause it is the language of love ....



by humanbeing on

i have a (distant) friend who is a poet who may agree to translate into arabic. he is a very accomplished and well known but outspoken poet and publicist.

i don't want to cause her any harm, or i'd offer a hebrew translation.


radius of

by Rea on

Let us know. Will gladly translate into Croatian (Serbian and Bosniak being pretty much the same languages, more people will be able to read).


Thx, MPD

by Rea on

"Central Council of the Office for Promoting Unity", I like it better.


Swedish translation of Bahareh"s letter

by radius-of-the-persian-cat on

I just received an e-mail from Lars Gustafsson, one of the most recognized swedish writers. He will try a translation of Bahareh"s letter into his language.  Thank you MPD, Yolanda and other commenters for encouragement. In case some you has a friend, relative or a colleague who might be able to translate into any other language, please invite him/her. I will set up a special website today where Baharehs original together with as many as possible translations can be published.


Thank you MPD. Grea

by vildemose on

Thank you MPD. Great translation.

Yolanda: That statstic is very telling. Thanks for sharing.

Here is what happend a few days after the fraudlent election of last 


 Attacking the University dormitory.





by yolanda on

Just checked on facebook, there is a "Free Bahareh Hedayat" website with 4700 members while the "Free Mousavi and Karoubi" website has only 322 members! The political landscape is really shifting. Young people are taking over!

Thank you, Mr. Persian Cat, for translating the poem into German! If the 4 versions of the letter can be added to the Rosetta -Stone, that will be awesome!

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Thanks for reminding us, dear MPD

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Multiple Personality Disorder

(انجمن اسلامی فارغ التحصیلان)

Multiple Personality Disorder


In an article published in payvand.com, referencing Keleme website, it is mentioned that Amin Ahmadian is a member of the Islamic Alumni Association

(انجمن اسلامی فارغ التحصیلان)


Elsewhere, he is also mentioned to be 

عضو شورای مرکزی ادوار دفتر تحکیم وحدت

Roughly translated to, member of Central Council of the Office for Promoting Unity


Dear MPD: Important subject, fantastic job as always

by daneshjoo on


Thank you for supporting this courageous lady and other prisoners. 


Persian - English - Poetry - German Rosetta Stone

by radius-of-the-persian-cat on

Hi Jolanda, I had some hope that the common indoeuropean roots of our languages could bring up some more similarities.  But even though, the four versions of Bahareh's letter from Evin might someday be used as a rosetta-stone for somebody who wants to learn either of the four languages. I am sure Bahareh would like this very much.

I will also ask a friend to do a translation into swedish.



by yolanda on

Wow! Now we have 4 versions of the same letter:


Bahareh's original Farsi version

Maryam's literal English translation

MPD's poetic adaptaion

Mr. Cat's German version


Thank you all for spreading the word! I feel ashamed 'cause I don't have any translating ability, but love to read.......I read the Germany version also.....only recognized 4 words there: Evin, MPD, computer, &  nacht (nite)..




Heartbreaking poem

by Rea on

..... and chapeau to the lady.

But one thing is bugging me. What does "Islamic Alumni Association" stand for?  Personally don't trust any islamic, christian, buddhist, jewish, or any alumni association that puts religious denomination into its name. 

Multiple Personality Disorder

Hi all, Just to be clear,,,

by Multiple Personality Disorder on


What I have posted here is not a direct translation, but an adaptation of the original letter.  A better direct translation of the letter can be found here:



MPD, Thank you for translating this sad letter

by radius-of-the-persian-cat on

Hi MPD,  Thank you very much for translating this letter and for circulating it. What a shame, what a crime, what sort of useless, criminal cowards find satisfaction by destroying young peoples life ?  Who gave them the right to do so ?  What revolution or religion can justify such abuses of human rights ?

I made a translation into german and also send it to www.mehriran.de. They have organized the entire July to show solidarity with political activists and prisoners in Iran.

Multiple Personality Disorder

I forgot to mention,,,

by Multiple Personality Disorder on


Ahmad Batebi was given temporary prison leave while still serving his prison term, mainly for medical treatment.  Maybe one of those leaves was around spring of 2008.

And thank you all for visiting this blog. 


rips my heart with admiration

by humanbeing on

and respect.
those of us who are free do not appreciate it. we cry about stupid things, and would never put our ideals first.

this woman who is so admirable, as we saw in the clip posted by aynak last year, with her spectacular intelligence and directness,

here shows also a humanity and emotional depth.

a true heroine.

thanks for translating.



by yolanda on

Thank you, MPD, for your detective work! I tend to believe it is Batebi 'cause he is also a student activist and has similar age as this lady!

So I guess this couple has no kids!

Thank you again for pulling for this lady........honestly speaking, this lady got more attention and coverage than Mousavi and Karoubi.......I did not see any "Happy B-day" videos for Mousavi or Karoubi......but there are many b-day videos for this lady:


P.S. I hope the Internet savvy husband of Bahareh can find this blog and feel comforted!

Multiple Personality Disorder

Two prominent Iranian political activists,,,

by Multiple Personality Disorder on


Two prominent Iranian political activists with the name Ahmad
comes to mind:

Ahmad Batebi was still in prison in the spring of 2008.  He left Iran in June 24, 2008.

Ahmad Zeidabadi has gone to prison many times, but around spring
of 2008 he seems to have been out of prison. 
The last time he went to prison was in June 2009.

I am not sure, maybe Bahareh Hedayat is questioning the
date, “…  Bahar 87? (Spring of 2008?)”



by yolanda on

Hi! MPD,

     Thank you for taking your precious time translating Hedayat's sad, sweet, and intimate letter! This lady has amazing autobiographical memory that she remembers all the special dates! Apparently she cherished her brief freedom very much! She just turned 30 in April and is at the prime of her life! It is absolutely saddening to see this beautiful & nice lady languishing in IRI's jail.

I will put this lady, Nasrin Sotoudeh, China's Liu Xiao Bo, and Myanmar's Aung San Suu Kyi in the same category. They have sacrificed their own freedom to make a difference!

In her letter, she mentioned "Ahmad" twice, not sure if he is her son? not sure if this couple has any children?

You did a great job of summarizing the letter and keeping the highlights......the whole poem flows naturally! This lady is amazing that she remembers the every minute detail on what her hubby likes and dislikes......must be a very loving couple!


I hope she gets her hug and freedom very soon! I can never forget the hug Nasrin got not long ago:


Thank you for your meaningful blog!

Nazy Kaviani

So beatiful...

by Nazy Kaviani on

Aaakh, so sad and so beautiful, MPD. It made me weep for that beautiful young woman and her young husband, and the unfairness of it all. Bahareh's message from her cell is now even more potent than it was before, thanks to you. Everyone should do their part to make sure the message goes far and wide. Thank you.

Soosan Khanoom


by Soosan Khanoom on

So sad and heart breaking letter ... yet amazingly beautiful  

and thanks for your wonderful translation