Islamic Tie, The Pen


Islamic Tie, The Pen
by Multiple Personality Disorder

Warning: This is not a literary piece of writing and as such it should not be read by those who expect literary pieces of writings.

Just about when I was getting ready to cut my own throat with a dull knife and then stab myself in my own heart and get it over with, there came a piece of news that made me believe life is worth living, “the Islamic Tie” in the shape of a, in the shape of a… Well I don’t know, I mean at first I didn’t know, that’s why I delayed cutting my own throat, I thought delay it long enough to find out what this was supposed to be. The first thing that came to my mind was that it was the frontal view of a woman’s crack, with clitoris on top of the vertical line in the bottom. Then I thought, no way, the maker of the tie won’t get a patent for it if it was a crack. Then I thought the tie was pointing to the man’s weewee, a ‘Pointer’. That made more sense, since Islamic Republic is a man’s world, and I was sure the tie-maker was going to get a patent if this was a Pointer, for his ability to point to the right direction.

Then, after I was no longer wondering what this tie was about, since I thought it was a pointer, I read the accompanying news: “The Islamic Tie that I recently made was inspired by Ali’s (AS) sword, Zulfiqar; in fact, it was a controversial design that was proposed to be in contrast with the essence of [the exploitative] tie.

According to a report by the Shiite Online; the second Islamic Tie design was patented by ‘Hemat Komeili’, who patented the first Islamic Tie about two weeks ago.

It is worth mentioning that the new Islamic Tie design looks like a pen and a verse from Holy Quran, ‘N * and Pen’ is written on it.”

Thank God the tie is supposed to be a pen, and not a pointer or a crack, but regardless, from what I have heard Hemat has other designs pending Islamic patent approval. His next tie is in the shape of a gouging hand, pressing and tearing an eye using a thumb. These words are planned to be written on the tie, “إذا كنت يمارس الجنس مع لنا ونحن سوف سحب عنيكم”, which roughly translates to, “If you fuck with us, we will pull your eye out.”

The next tie pending patent is a beautiful painting of a chopped off hand of a man who was addicted to thievery, who no matter how many times he was told not to steal he kept on stealing, so now he no longer has to steal anymore because part of the revenues from the sale of the Islamic hand amputation tie will go to him for using the painting of his hand for the tie. On the tie it will say, “وقد أعطى الله لك من جهة ثانية لسبب وجيه”, which roughly translates to, “Allah has given you a second hand for a good reason”.

So now I won’t cut my own throat with a dull knife for a while because I’d be missing out on seeing these ties.


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by yolanda on

Hi! MPD,

    I just want to let you know that Khamenei's website never answered my e-mail question if it is OK to wear an Islamic tie in Iran.......sorry :O) that so far Hemat Komeili's Islamic ties don't have Supreme leader's endorsement......maybe my question is too hard for them to answer.......a couple of weeks ago, I e-mailed White House thru their website and asked them why the Persian Gulf has been changed to Arabian Gulf by American Navy?.......White House is not better than Supreme leader's website.......I have not received an answer from them either.......

   But once a while, White House e-mail me their propaganda messages.....I know why......'casue they want me to vote for Obama in 2012!


Very funny MPD

by divaneh on

Dear MPD, thank for your humerous and imaginative blog. I heard the next design is a very large and long eggplant that can also be used as a quick snack in case the wearer feel peckish.

Anahid Hojjati

MPD, this is hilarious, literary humor just like Azarin wrote

by Anahid Hojjati on

Dear MPD, this was so funny, particularly where it talked about the writings that will go on ties. Thank you for all the laughter. Great work.

Azarin Sadegh

This is literary humor!!!

by Azarin Sadegh on is hilarious! Original, Witty and Creative....And literary too!! You should delete that warning for not discouraging your serious readers..:-) 



by yolanda on

Hi! MPD, 

      You always have a vivid imagination....LOL! I am just curious if IRI is really serious about making guys wear Islamic ties?!   So far I have only seen one person wearing the Islamic tie.....that is the model in your blog.....he has modeled 2 Islamic ties so far, but I don't see anyone else wearing the Islamic tie.....AN is not wearing it and neither is Ali Larijani! I got into Khamenei's website....there is a link called "FAQ"......I searched the word "tie"......this is what I got:


Q: I would like to know if wearing a tie is ḥarām?
A: It is prohibited to wear a necktie that contributes to the spreading of western culture.


There is a place in Khamenei's website that everyone can e-mail him I e-mailed the supreme leader if it is ok to wear an Islamic tie?........this is what I got after I e-mailed him the "tie" question:


  • Your shar`i question is successfully received and the answer will be sent through your email soon.
    If you did not received the answer during a maximum of 72 hrs. follow up the problem using the mentioned code through the follow-up page.

Follow-up code: fd29085219009f2

  • ************************
LOL! I feel that the supreme leader is out of touch with reality......I am not sure if he knows about the latest Islamic ties.......well, if I get an answer......I will post it here! I am glad that you won't end your life! :O)
  • I will stay tuned to Khamenei's e-mail answer!