Plasma Displacement, or Lack of Humour!


Plasma Displacement, or Lack of Humour!
by Multiple Personality Disorder

As the leader of Iran’s Islamic Revolution, Ayatollah Khomeini, once said, “An Islamic regime must be serious in every domain. There are no jokes, humour, and playfulness in Islam, and anyone who is serious must not joke around.”

یک نظام و رژیم اسلامی باید در همه حوزه ها جدی باشد، در اسلام جوک و و مزاح و خوشمزگی وجود ندارد و هر کس که جدی است نباید شوخی کند

So, we must take the following development seriously, whether it is a joke or not, it does not matter; but be mindful, while I was writing this blog, I was not able to authenticate the validity of the following scientific paper or its authors, however that should not be a problem, since as I said before, and I reiterate again, we must take this, and everything else, seriously, as there are no jokes in Islam.

An original scientific research paper, titled “New Results on Plasma Displacement in IR-T1 Tokamak by Bias Modification” seems to have been published in the Journal of Fusion Energy.  In the “Acknowledgments” section of the paper, authored by two Iranian plasma physics researchers, Barat Savadzadeh and Darzi Gharibzadeh, several non-technical staff members have been acknowledged and thanked for helping with the research.  The scientific paper itself is nothing but the usual boring scientific stuff, which only a physicist would love, and get them a hard-on upon reading it; but briefly, here is what it says; “… a movable biasing system was designed and constructed.  The positive voltage applied to an electrode inserted inside the Tokamak limiter and …”  Stop right there, that’s enough of reading scientific stuff.  I only want to say that the “movable biasing system” must have been designed by some people with scientific minds, of course, since they are the ones with the brains.  And, the device must have been constructed by some technical staff members, who must have had can-do attitudes.  But, here is the serious question, as the Leader said, we “must be serious in every domain,” and we are talking about the serious domain of plasma displacement; who are these non-technical staff members who have so greatly influenced these plasma physics researchers, who have caused the researchers to acknowledge them by name?

These non-technical staff members are:

1-    Mr. Aghaee, working in the abdarkhaneh
2-    Mr. Faraji and Mr. Rahbar, working in the khadamat section
3-    Several drivers working in the Plasma Physics Research Center

Here is the exact acknowledgment part of the scientific paper:

“Acknowledgment: Authors would like to thank all members of the IR-T1 Tokamak laboratory for technical cooperation.  Authors would also like to thank Mr. Aghaee in abdarkhaneh section, Mr. Faraji and Rahbar in khadamat section and tamami ranandegan in plasma physics research center for their great help and preparation of this manuscript.”

So, what did the guy in abdarkhaneh do for this scientific experiment?  He set aside all jokes and brought tea for the researchers, to keep them wide awake and hard at work.  And, the two guys in the khadamat section, what did they do?  They must have zealously made sure everyone prayed in a timely manner, and made sure “Thanks to the Leader of the Islamic Revolution” was mentioned seriously a few times a day, and without a joke “Allah-O-Akbar” was shouted every time a switch was flipped on, and “There is no God but Allah, and Mohammad is Allah's servant and apostle” was chanted without any sense of humour every time a plasma was displaced in the Tokamak.  And the drivers, what did they do?  They must have resolutely made sure hot and fresh chello kebab, and sometimes pizza, was delivered to the laboratory every day, to keep the researchers sternly well fed and energetic, so they could do their daily work, seriously.


PS, the Leader of the Islamic Revolution has also said,

اسلام جلوى شهوات را میگیرد؛ اسلام نمىگذارد كه لخت بروند توى این دریاها شنا كنند. پوستشان را میكند! با زنها لخت بروند آنجا، و بعد زنها لخت بیایند توى شهرها! مثل كارهایى كه در زمان طاغوت مىشد

“Islam will stop lust.  Islam will not allow them to go swimming naked in these seas.  [Islam] will peel their skin if they do so!  Going swimming there naked with women, and then women come to the cities naked, such as it was during the idolatrous period! ...”


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Consulting Abdaarbashi

by divaneh on

Thanks MPD jaan, that's what I call being observant. Well, you never know, Mr Aghaee in Abdaarkhaneh may have been the consulting professor. As you know in Iran people are not assigned to positions according to their skills and abilities. Illiterates try to do the experts jobs whilst experts do the  low skilled jobs. Drivers may also have been the professors of Physics who advised on the project. Khadamaat was only mentioned for the fear of getting sacked. 



by yolanda on

Hi! MPD,

    1st, thank you for the last blog in which you talked about the Shamu of IRI, Firouzabadi, can single-handedly block the strait of Hormuz. Very funny!

    To me, a layperson, the image of this blog looks like a broken donut wrapped around in a solenoid! OMG! Deep stuff!

    The main authors of this scientific paper are probably from the "Islamic Society of Engineers". The Science and Islam are intertwined and inseparable, so they have to thank their peripheral staff for keep them going!

    Speaking of "serious", Khomeini and Khamenei are deadly serious! I have never seen them smile! So that must be the "cool" Islamic look! I guess if you smile too much, they think you are trying to flirt! That is a big "no" 'no"!

Too bad, AN can't stop smiling like a monkey!

Thank you for sharing!

Ari Siletz

Agree with the acknowledgment

by Ari Siletz on

Only the bravest drivers and abdarchis work in Iranian research centers. In the past, car bomb assassination of Iranian scientists has also killed the driver. The abdarkhaneh staff are acknowledged in anticipation of polonium poisoning attempts. 


Islam Civilization?

by Azarbanoo on

In response to Emame Rahel: Sigheh, Sangsar. Hanging, Taking out eyes , cuting limbs and......other crimes such as Gharat & Ghanimat from non-khodiha, Lies.  These are much better.  Emamam e Rahel and other akhoonds all R.dan to IRAN.


I see

by anglophile on

That makes perfect sense. 

Thanks for spelling it out!

Multiple Personality Disorder

I ujuwally rite with American-English speelling stile

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

... Howevre, this time aruond, sence the orginal sceintific paper was wretten with English-English kind of speeeling, I did not bather to change thier stile of speellomg to that uf American-English speeling stile.


ام پی‌ دی جان تکلیف ما رو روشن کن عزیز


Are you writing in American-English as in : "Plasma Physics Research Center" or in British-English as in:"...was chanted without any sense of humour every time a plasma was displaced in the Tokamak."

or are you just being humourous? :)