Women Only Internet Websites


Women Only Internet Websites
by Multiple Personality Disorder

There are no official women only Internet websites in the Islamic Republic of Iran yet, but that is going to change soon, since several concepts are being developed by the Information Technology branch of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) (سپاه پاسداران انقلاب اسلامی). These developments are briefly discussed here:

Last year an electronic device was developed by the IT branch of IRGC, much similar to a computer mouse at this time, which at one end of it was inserted into a computer via a USB connection, and the other end of the device was inserted into a volunteer female Muslim Internet users’ vagina, thereby, via a software installed in the computer, detected that the user was indeed of a female gender. The first prototype of this device that was put to use by the dedicated female Iranian Muslim electronic scientists was too large in the beginning, but the dedicated Iranian female Muslim electronic scientists worked diligently to reduce the size of it, so it would not cause any harm to the hymen of virgin Muslim girls. At this time, the Iranian Muslim female electronic Scientists have managed to reduce the size of the device to that of a commonly used computer mouse, which is still not acceptable for general public use, however the Iranian Muslim electronic female scientists are hoping that by next month the size will be reduced to the size of a medical device commonly known as a tampon, surely suitable for use by married women, but still unacceptable for use by virgin Muslim girls. Once this device detects the gender identity of an Internet user, the software will allow the user to access websites specifically designated as woman only Internet websites.

National Internet websites exclusively for use by women will be created. This national Internet will use a generic top-level domain (gTLD), in the Domain Name System of the Internet for the specific purpose of providing information and services for pious Iranian Muslim women. Some of the suggested names for gTLD, similar to .com, for the national Internet for woman only Internet websites are as follows:

.woi (which is the acronym ‘woman only internet’)

.wow (woman only websites)

.fwo (female websites only)

.iwo (Islamic women only)

.efw (exclusively for women)

Once any one of the above gTLDs in the Domain Name System of the Internet is decided on, and it is up and running, then female only websites will be created and go online under that domain name. The Islamic Sharia laws, the Islamic Republic of Iran’ constitutional laws, the Guardian Council of the Constitution regulations, the Expediency Discernment Council of the System rules, The Army of the Guardians of the Islamic Revolution guidelines, and the Office of the Supreme Leader’s mandates, as well as any pertaining Islamic policies, rules, and regulations as wells as any or all ayatollahs’ opinions will be detrimental in deciding which websites would qualify as a woman only Internet website.

Once these website are operational, online electronic applications from female online users will be taken and processed by the above governmental entities to make certain that the applicants are indeed females. Once the gender of the applicants are established, the female Internet user applicants must present themselves to the nearest mosque in their vicinity, along with four signed affidavit of identity from their neighbors. Once the female gender of the female online users are ascertained then photo identification cards will be issued to the applicants. Any photos affixed to such identification cards must meet the requirements for taking photographs of females for official use, as described in the constitution of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Internet outlet businesses (net café) where Internet services are provided must then check for proper identification of the females that wish to use the websites specifically designated as women only websites.


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by yolanda on

Thank you, MPD, for this insanely funny piece! OMG! Very creative also! Maybe they need your "expertise" and "vision"! :O)) I was still visualizing what was like in the Women's coffee shop. I bet a lot of the girls look beautiful, modern, and stylish!

Iran really should allow women to enter the soccer stadiums. They can start to let all the girls sit in one section 1st.....

If I have a chance to visit Iran, I will try to visit the Women's coffee shop! 

Thank you for your blog!


New domain names

by divaneh on

Thanks for the good laugh MPD jaan. I heard all the shopping site are now considering moving from .com to .woi domins. It is obvious that Akhonds who have nothing better than talking about women and sex will now add another chapter to their books to discuss the theological issues arising from this development such as amount of permitted vibration.