Go Catch Your Second Wind

by TheMrs

I went to the mall the other day, with the intention of buying shoes of course, and I saw a very bored security guard. As I don’t like to see anyone suffer from anything, I went over and I said:

- Hey man, where's my second wind.

He looked at me, a bit amused and smiled. He told me he wasn’t sure he could help me. But I persisted. I asked him:

- Hey man, just show me how to catch my second wind.

He laughed and said:

- Ma’am, I ain’t got no clue what choo talkin’ about.

I felt insulted.

I mean, here I am, taking time off from MY errands. I’m trying hard to get this guy to loosen up and to be the one person who’ll give him a break and he’s being very uncooperative!

I wasn’t sure what to do. So I decided, ta seh nasheh bazi nasheh!

- Hey man, come on! Just show me how to catch my second wind!

At this point, he just looked into my eyes and sighed. His look was very intense. It actually made me blush. Very calmly, he said:

- Well, I saw it pass by a minute ago. I guess you’re late. Oh well! Maybe next time.

- What? You saw my second wind pass by and you did nothing?

- That’s right? It ain’t my problem. No one ever talks to me. What's with you?

- You look erinacceous.

- Go get cho self a finnimbrun or somethin...

- You think I'm all about floccinaucinihilipilification?

- Well, I can admit I'm a nihilarian. Why can't choo admit this is all inaniloquent BS?

- Hey man, I was just trying to cheer you up and catch my second wind. But if you insist on being a bore, so be it! See ya!

I walked away but I swear, something inside me has died and I don't know how to fake it.


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a1 (not verified)

خیلی جالب بود.
تجربه ساده رو به یک داستان خوشمزه تعبیر کرده.
و بعد احساشو با صداقت میگه.

Azarin Sadegh

I read it again and...

by Azarin Sadegh on

I read it again and yes, it's pretty absurd...but I still liked it!

Why? Because it has a good start, then it kept me interested enough to search for the meaning of Floccinaucinihilipilification and finnimbrun and I think the dialogue between these two is hilarious and the punchline at the end - the last sentence - is a very good one!

But it's just my personal taste, maybe a bit influenced by reading authors like Ionesco, Beckett and Jenet and the absurd situations they write about.

But please feel free to dislike this piece ...I would never try to impose my own taste to anyone!



دفعه دیگر

خشت و آینه (not verified)

دفعه دیگر اگر اینطور سردیت کرد قدری خرما بخور و وقت عزیز مارا بیخود تلف نکن.



by TheMrs on


Ali P.

It's complicated!

by Ali P. on

"He laughed and said:

- Ma’am, I ain’t got no clue what choo talkin’ about. "

 *       *        *        *        *        *         *       *


He ain't the only one!!

LOL..just kidding.



Ali P.


Azarin khanoom

by Azarin fan (not verified) on

you were only right about this piece being absurd.

the rest of the compliments were just due to your own forgiving and sweet nature. Did the piece really deserve a praise? I think not!


Here today gone tomorrow

by Mayflower Passenger (not verified) on

Sorry,can't bother explaining it the way I see it to ESL for my comment and this post will be gone by tomorrow.It was funny, however.



by English-As-Second-Language (not verified) on

Can someone please translate this article either into ESL level (my level) or Farsi. Whats "second wind"?? thanks


Azarin are you kidding me?

by Curly (not verified) on

This article has nothing good about it, not she harassing this poor man , or her twisted sense of humor?!

Azarin Sadegh

Funny and original!

by Azarin Sadegh on

I really enjoyed reading this piece! Witty, funny and very well written! I especially liked its absurdist humor and unique voice.

Thanks for sharing!Azarin