I'm Lonely and in Pain


by TheMrs

How did I get here? I ask myself. How did I become so irrational and emotional? I don't have an answer.

All I know is that it's coming. With precise certainty and mathematically calculated to the nanosecond...it's coming. And I have no where to hide.

I felt it this morning. Around 8:27 am. It was so soft and mild. Almost undetectable. But I felt it. And instantly I knew that it was coming.

I began this process that's become such an uncomfortable routine in my life. I kept a close eye on the clock. Despite everything that will happen to me, I want to maintain some control.

I remained calm. I told myself not to worry. It's not THAT bad.

I felt it again around 12:30 pm. I thought to myself: "The pace is slow! What's up with that? Am I losing my edge, my mojo?" Sure enough, the speed picked up.

Oddly enough, I became very productive at work. I accomplished a lot more than I thought I would. I guess the sensation and the fear makes me hyperactive.

After dinner, there was no escaping it!

I'm not sure if it's the excrutiating pain that scares me this much or the anticipation of what is to come! I try to block the memories of visits to emergency rooms and hours spent in the bathroom puking from the throbbing ache.

I can't do anything tonight. I'm a handicap. I can't join x and y at the movies and I'm screening z's calls. I don't want to talk to anyone. Perhpas my mother...but I hate to disturbe her with my tears and there's not much she can do to help me now.

All I can do is sit here for a few more minutes, write this and then try to convince myself not to think about what it would feel like if I threw myself out the window or wish for roozeh ghiaamat. My poor lover doesn't know what to do either. Between the two of us, in this state, I hate him.

But what I hate most is menstruating. Hot damn, I wish I were a man.





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more from TheMrs

A solution

by FekrBekr (not verified) on

Have you tried sex in these occasions? It helps better than other drogs with the advantage that you don't get cancer.


I feel for you

by Farzaneh12345 (not verified) on

I totally feel for you hon. I am currently 7 and half months pregnant and I have no idea how much pain I have to endure during the birth process. It sucks but what sucks more is that I don't have my husband or any family member around me at this time. So, you see, compared to me, you are blessed :)


In Sympathy with the Ladies : We are all Women !

by faryarm on

Ladies and Germs,

In sympathy and solidarity with the all the liberated Ladies of iranian.com:

We are all Women !

.. or at least we should have the right to be... 


the way I look at it is

by George Bush's legitimate daughter (not verified) on

That it is much better to be in the middle of the hurricane IKE, than being in Angola Prison. So, there is a bright side on every disaster....


Ebi Jaan So True!

by Khar on

Your links are tooooooooooo funny, just fell off my chair! Thanks.


I know!!!!!!

by Tahirih on

I feel you, as strange as it may sound to you( we do not see eye to eye) but in this one I am your sister!!!

I have suffered and still am suffering like you. Many times asked God to take me away, and cried for a good week. Yes a good week, that's how long I am miserable. I have seen doctors done research and at this point I have surrendered to it. One stupid MD told me this is the price I am paying to be a Mother!!! go figure ,it was a male doctor!

A healthy diet with avoiding sugery, stuff and all preservative and salt laden foods does help. Also as my  twin ?? Tahereh said exercise does help. avoid coffee, not tea though. Relaxation methods and yoga helps too. And dear when you get that burst of energy either do your work or as my proff use to say make your partner a happy man:)))


Nazy Kaviani

Dear Blue Da Missuz

by Nazy Kaviani on

Since I got my first period, and for about 20 years, I would become gravely ill with them every month, more or less as you described your physical symptoms. I remember feeling desperate one time, asking a kind old woman why I had to go through all this unnecessary pain, and she told me it was because my body was getting ready for the miracle of childbirth. Heeh! That was a bunch of baloney! Women who don't have such severe and painful symptoms seem to be perfectly good in the "miracle" department, so by now I know those words were just to comfort me, which they did at the time! Plus my period blues have continued well beyond childbirth and so I know it wasn't just a passing thing to stop after childbirth.

The idea, though, was a comforting one. I think about period cramps, stretch marks, and a few other unsavory signs better left unsaid, as my milestones and medallions of womanhood. They are signs and reminders of the feelings, thoughts, wisdoms, and pleasures of being able to do things only women can do. A woman continues to suffer through inconveniences and hormonal attacks, but at the end of the day, those same hormones are what make her really special, loving, generous, and nurturing.

There is no choice and no escape, really, but to accept and embrace it, The Mrs. Jan. I know you know that, too. I sympathize.

P.S. Just as you hate the mood swings and hating your lover, and you know that all of that has hormonal reasons, you may also know and remember that the burst of energy you felt yesterday afternoon at work which helped you accomplish all that work is also the sign of those hormones at work. What can I say? We are strange in more than one way, but it's not all bad!


Red wine: some how I never

by TheMrs on

Red wine: some how I never imagined you so cool. That was awesome. Merci beaucouptoon basheh.


Woof. The worst is over! I

by TheMrs on

Woof. The worst is over! I DID survive the pain.

Feri:  Khodet you'll be done with a it in 1 or 2 years. Zaboneto gaz begir madar. I have 3 decades to go before menapause.

Red wine:  Loneliness is gone since I am mobile again! And I grew up with MR T. Stay in school, don't do drugs!

Tahereh: Depression? I guess your ingilish not so good. Weight loss? Vaat? Clearly you are on your period too!

ebi amirhosseini

TheMrs aziz

by ebi amirhosseini on

Hang in there dear,hope these help your mood & cheer you up:





You'll be OK

by Feri (not verified) on

Just bear with the menstruating, you'll be done with it in 1 or 2 years.


گل سرخ

من (not verified)

من نمیدانستم

گل سرخ چمن از دامن توست


PMS Blues

by Khar on

I hope this makes you feel beter. BTW dont go near knifes please. :-)

PMS Blues Dolly Parton:



I hear you

by Tahereh (not verified) on

Your heavy weight may be a factor in your depression. Lose some weight with exercise and good nutrition, and you'll feel much better about yourself honey.

Red Wine


by Red Wine on

I don't see anything wrong in being a little bit lonely ,You just need to listen some good music and smoking marijuana :=) .




take some YAZ

by samsam1111 on

for your PMDD .

Good sailing!

AmirAshkan Pishroo


by AmirAshkan Pishroo on

I wish I were a man.

The idea of menstruation seems considerably less daunting than the idea of phallocentrism.

Very good post.