PAAIA beat NIAC to the punch yesterday and rush announced it’s strongest condemnation of the Saudi Ambassador assassination plot by Iran that was foiled by the US this week.
PAAIA, is not to be confused with PAELLA which is a wonderful Spanish Rice dish, or PARSA which is the Iranian free-money-foundation that gave $7.5 million to Iranian groups since 2006, and then promptly folded yesterday, probably as a result of traditional infighting among the fundernaires.
PAAIA is the Public Affairs Alliance of Iranian-Americans. If this sounds a lot like what NIAC or The National Iranian-American Council does, it’s not a coincidence, once you remember that both are Iranian franchis… I mean groups that no one wants, or has ever asked for explicitly, and as Iranian groups go, even though they might want to do the same thing, they will never admit it, and god forbid they should ever combine and work as one. Hence the separate but similar shape and form. And smell.
So, uh… yeah.
Anyhow, yesterday PAAIA released their press release on the Saudi assassination plot before NIAC could come up with something they think is pithier. My guess is Trita Parsi was on a flight from somewhere and because they probably aren’t allowed to, no one at NIAC knew what the hell to do until he landed, and by then PAAIA had their press release already done and out. SHIT!!!
Also it appears Trita prefers the Huffington format over any other media. After all that’s how Reza Aslan keeps getting invited to do the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
So here’s what Ali Mojdehi (I know, I don’t know who he is either) the Chairman of PAAIA said:
“We condemn these senseless and intolerable alleged terror plots in the United States,” explained Ali Mojdehi, Chairman of PAAIA. “The plot is a shameful attack on our values. The Iranian American community applauds our law enforcement agencies for their vigilance in disrupting the plot and appeals to all citizens and the media not to come to any generalized conclusions about the Iranian American community or the Iranian people from the suspected acts.”
I know and yes, he actually said “plots”. Apparently Mojdehi who is now officially a public figure and therefore outside any libel or slander laws, implied that there are more plots, or something, because as far as I know this has been the only one so far, so to condemn these “terror plots” is the wrong English tense and term, not uncommon for Iranian-American groups who tend to insist on picking leaders who do not actually know how to speak proper English. Or Farsi.
And yes, I have interviewed for the job. Yes, I am bitter. Fuck Yes I am bitter!
What did not surprise me though was the standard usual, complete, utter, and total absence of ANY attempt to live up to the IRANIAN in the Iranian-American character we are pretending to play in this play, baffling the US once again with our airs of delusion. And cowardice. Here we are in a country founded by people who stood up to oppression and power, yet we cannot muster the same fortitude, hoping no one notices our shortcomings and will still let us into the country club, if we wave wads of cash.
NOT ONCE in the statement did Mojdehi or the mush-for-brains at PAELLA.. I mean PAAIA, consider to send a message to the government of Iran on this possibly greatest national embarrassment since the hostage crisis. Not even a one page fax with just 4 words on it, “WTF ARE YOU THINKING!!!!!”
Maybe I am the one who is deluded.
Because I tend to think that if my dog comes over to my neighbor Bob’s house and bites Bob’s other guest, while I am there, visiting with Bob, I kind of shouldn’t say, “Jeez Bob! That’s awful! I condemn this alleged bite in the strongest possible way. I hope you won’t let your dog bite me!”
What I think I kind of should do, is go home and:
a) Beat the living shit out of my dog, even if it was the first time.
b) Put it down, if it has been an ongoing problem, and get a goldfish.
Guess which category the government of Iran falls under. Maybe not full Pitbull. Maybe a Pitbull-mix. With rabies. And fleas.
For the finely brainwashed folks at PAAIA to not understand that condemnation of Iran by PAAIA to the nearest Iranian officials is of the utmost critical importance, is beyond shameful. And there certainly are Iranian officials in the Pakistan embassy, which is very near the PAAIA and NIAC offices.
Hence I am ashamed. We should all be. What a joke!
Today, NIAC finally released their response, and as expected, it had a sexy but as usual and now trademark, irrelevant title. “The Come to Jesus moment in US-Iran relations”. Once again bad use of English goes unpunished. (Well, maybe not completely!)
A “Come to Jesus moment” is when you either accept Jesus a your Christ and Savior, a born again step, or, it is an agreement following a disagreement. While it sounds cooler than PAAIA’s matter of fact title, it still has nothing to do with the actual story.
Iran certainly has not accepted JC, and there is no agreement between the US and Iran, and the ongoing disagreement goes on. Iran has denied the plot, so a better title would be something like, “US and Iran both allege the other was behind Saudi assassination Plot”.
Every second sentence in NIAC’s overnight prepared piece includes numerous variations of the word “alleged” in it. As if NIAC isn’t already accused enough, of being in cahoots with the Iranian government. By NIAC’s assertion/sales pitch that US sanctions would not hurt the rich and privileged in Iran, and would instead affect “ordinary Iranians” and their ability to revolt. Speaking of revolting Iranians, this ridiculous claim, added to NIAC’s already perplexing opposition to the MEK, the Iranian government’s most staunch opposition outside Iran.
NIAC does not seem to get that everyone is saying that a “US-based organization Opposing Iran’s Opposition, is Iran’s Friend.”
What PAAIA and NIAC have shown completely and entirely in both of the for-their-own-press releases, is a cowardly nature of avoiding the elephant in the room, namely Iran. Not one have the guts or fortitude or intelligence apparently, to get that condemning the act to America, and begging Americans not to take it out on us, and never once saying anything to Iran, is tantamount to a confession of guilt. Or so that’s what Americans certainly have to be thinking about us now.
I mean, if we are too afraid to stand up to our own, how reliable could we possibly be as hyphenated Americans?
We cannot have it both ways. We cannot plug our ears, and cover our eyes, sing “La La La-ee” and continue to shield ourselves from the repeated dastardly deeds our less-enlightened, and religiously blinded countrymen do in OUR name internationally. Yes, OUR name. You set this in motion by hyphenating Iranian-Americans. You don’t actually give up your responsibility with a hyphen.
Calling ourselves Iranian-Americans, does not make us full Americans and automatically excuse us from Iran.
PAAIA went on in their statement pathetically and subtly begging for mercy from Joe-Sixpack, with the usual parade of contributions of successful Iranian-Americans to America. ALL of whom we all know, would pack up and never set foot in the US again, were Iran ever a free country for even 5 minutes.
All of this continual misbehavior unchallenged, is precisely why the Iranian government is smiling, no- grinning today. Precisely because groups like PAAIA and NIAC don;t care. And let us now toss Reza Pahlavi in for not caring. As of 2pm California time his site is still congratulating the oppressed youth for the upcoming school year! (lest you think I am a monarchist).
None of these self appointed Napoleon’s, ever in the slightest think to make one single call, fax one fax, mail one letter, email one email, text one text, tweet one tweet, Unlike one Like directly into the rotted out and diseased brain of the powers that be, INSIDE IRAN, and would instead swoon at the sight and on the steps of Capitol Hill, like a teenage girl at a Justin Bieber concert. “No, He looked at me!”
To wake up every morning and go to an Iranian Organization in the US and NOT think to object even once, directly to the more than objectionable, is the greater shame. I’m fucking tired of it.
Whether it worked or was foiled, Iran has successfully sent a clear message and thrown down the gauntlet for the Saudis, the big dog on the Persian Gulf block.
The US reaction is actually irrelevant, Iran knows full well that the US does not have the stomach or enough Humvees, cruise missiles, or drones, for yet another pointless if remote control fight in the desert. Iran knows that the Saudis are an unorganized and lazy sort, and feels it can take them on if it comes to an all out fight. Because Iran intends to fight dirty. Something the US has not trained the Saudi army for since they took over for Lawrence of Arabia 100 years ago.
At least now those recent Iranian naval exercises in the Gulf and apparently a few “alleged” excursions to the US coastline seem to make more sense now.
If Iran indeed intends to goad the Saudis into a dirty street fight, they’ve taken the first step with this plot. Even if it was foiled. What remains to be seen is how the Saudis, not the US react to this. With the anger and counter action that the US and West of the world wants it to do, to teach Iran a good long-in-coming lesson in manners, or in the usual way the Saudis react. The usual way is to ignore Iran, and smile that big fat happy Arab smile and float away unconcerned.
I would recommend the latter. The former is too far out of character for the Saudis, and Iran has clearly been preparing for it. The best you can do when you can’t win, is to avoid the fight altogether. Especially when you are richer than the other guy. The best offense is to drive a Ferrari.
Which reminds me of the joke,
“Do you know why Saudis always seem to be smiling?”
“No, Why?”
“Because they’re not wearing any underwear!”
