Once again, it begins again.
One of the signs that the new year is upon us, is the continued debate surrounding the Yarshater camp (more on that later) spelling of NOWRUZ.
And every year it seems, someone brings me flawed data to support this aberration and attempt to amend common English phonetic rules.
Now don't get me wrong. Here's my entire point:
- I am in no way suggesting you must spell it my way or that I even have a "way".
- I say that NOWRUZ isn't as successful a spelling as is possible.
- I do not think we need to have one correct spelling. Just look at Hannukah.
Now though, we are presented with yet another reason that we must agree to be coerced into using NOWRUZ;
It was told to me, that we must all accept NOWRUZ to show we can unify and as a sign of Iranian community solidarity.
To be sure you the reader understand this, because I bet some of you will undoubtedly have an opinion, I'll carefully craft this next sentence.
I'll even space it out so you can fully digest what you may be about to comment for, or against. Ready?
NOWRUZ, according to established, undeniable, un-amendable English phonetic rules that govern the likely pronunciation of words written in English, is pronounced as; (Are you sure you are ready?)
NOW as in: HOW NOW BROWN COW
RUZ as in: RUG, BUG, HUG, MUG
So, our most positive and precious asset in cultural relationship building, if spelled as NOWRUZ would rhyme with COWBUG.
NOROOZ however, is the most phonetically correct (more on proof later) spelling. But for some reason, choosing the obvious and more importantly, phonetically correct spelling, is not an option for building UNITY. Apparently.
So yeah, there's UNITY now.
The Yarshater camp, since their unauthorized, uninvited, and self assigned assignment to get UNESCO to record NR as a unique Persian cultural heritage trait, somehow got onto spelling it as NOWRUZ. Claiming that the top Persian language linguists in the world all agreed on the NOWRUZ spelling as best.
That would seem correcte, except for one HUGE Flaw.
The flaw as it appears to me, is that to identify the best English spelling, you would consult with ENGLISH LINGUISTS not PERSIAN LINGUISTS!, then say the word to them as you wish it to be pronounced by English speakers, and ask them to write it in English, so native English speakers could pronounce it correctly themselves, whenever they read it in books and papers, UNAIDED.
What's the point if you need an Iranian standing next to you every time you try to read Nowruz?
Unfortunately according to this "New and Unimproved English" being pushed by the Yarshater camp via their coercion in getting numerous publishings, and press releases by the White House, Congress, incessant groups like NIAC, and naively supportive foundations like PAIIA and WIKIPEDIA, you'd have to also demand to spell OBAMA (also not a traditional English word) as OWBOMO. OW to get that same desired Yarshater-Persian inflection. And BOMO, to get the rest of it the same way the Yarshater camp wants you to speak.
And of course, all of this is supposed to make total sense. Ask or question it, and you are apparently, quite the popular un-Iranian, as this new unification demand goes.
Even though I knew it, I figured I'd have to test it. You can't just be right these days. You need a survey to suggest anything in the Iranian universe.
So I tested the NOWRUZ spelling. 96% said it WRONG!
I then tested NOROOZ. 98% said it CORRECT!
But don't believe me or my survey. Please, do your own test. It's super easy. Here's how:
Step 1: Ask 100 Americans if they know the name of the Persian New Year. (If they do, give them some shirini and tea, wish them a happy new year and move on to someone else.)
Step 2: If they do not know the name of the Persian new year, show them the word NOWRUZ and ask them to say it out loud. Do the same with a different group of Americans using NOROOZ and record the results.
And this would be the end of this discussion. If we were not Iranian. For as all Iranian disagreements go, the one who is wrong, will never admit it. Especially if they are older generation, like the Yarshater camp, and especially if you suggest they are wrong socially or in public.
Having lost the 1979 revolution, constantly on your conscience, must weigh heavily in your fast fading last gasp attempts at validation. Therefore if you are younger, and comfortable with your Post-79 Cowardice, you must have stacked the deck, or you must have done this or that, or some other sneaky self promotional trick to make them look wrong or mistaken. Or foolish.
It is never a mistake on their part. Always you are wrong. And shame on you for your dis-respect of your elders.
Now, with the attempt to bring UNITY in as the leash to heel everyone who spells it purely phonetically, the NOWRUZ gang has shifted it's (ironically) dictatorial and oppressive tactics to play, on your new found sense of community.
When are you ever going to learn to do the right thing? And accept this embarrassing spelling? Huh? When? Can't you see you are being disloyal? Just because you think our spelling is wrong, it doesn't give you the right to stop us from using it.
And so goes the argument or non-argument, updated with the cause of UNITY. Always made defiantly. In total denial of any slightest possibility for simple mathematical and procedural error.
The government of Iran has also, by the way, finally weighed in on this recently. And true to Persian form, as if to spite or thank the very diaspora generation that created it, has sanctioned the official Iranian government spelling as; NOROUZ.
HAPPY YOU KNOW WHAT...