“Why do I have to be here?” a young friend whispered to me through gritted teeth as we gathered with several other Iranian families for a Norouz celebration on a Friday night. She would have preferred to spend this weekend night out with her friends – or anywhere else, really. The conflict between the demands of her cultural heritage and those of her life outside the home is, no doubt, one familiar to many Iranian-American youths.
As a member of Iranian Alliances Across Borders (IAAB) helping to organize the first Iranian-American Leadership Camp for high school students, recently I've been trying to take a step back from my everyday reality and think more deeply about the Iranian-American youth experience. In my conversations with the teenaged Iranian-Americans I have encountered since undertaking this project, I am constantly reminded me of why we in IAAB are organizing such a camp. I also cannot help but wonder how useful such an opportunity would have been to me in my own adolescence….
When I was young, there were nights I would refuse to go to bed until Maman Bozorg would tell me the story of what would happen when – if – I finally visited Iran. A gifted storyteller, in dulcet tones she’d weave a rich tapestry of a story. Some details changed a bit on each retelling – would Daei or Amoo pick us up from the airport? – but the central themes were always the same. She soothed me to sleep with tales of rugs and doogh and Persian rosewater bastani and noon-e khameii. She told me of trips to shomal and Shiraz, days at Shahreh Bazi and nights at mehmooni, and, best of all, a vast sea of cousins to play with and older relatives to shower me with gifts and kisses.
Though I spent a happy childhood in a great country with parents who were fiercely proud of our heritage and eager to teach me their language and culture, those stories (nostalgic as they may have been) made me wistful about a childhood I had never experienced in a country I have still never visited. How would my life have been different? What was I missing by not growing up surrounded by relatives?
These questions led me to ruminate on my identity as a “bicultural” child of immigrants to the United States. From classmates’ incessant mispronunciation of my name to the quizzical looks my wavy hair would elicit at the beauty salon: navigating the swirling rapids of adolescence in America with parents who were experiencing it for the first time right along with me was a challenge. I was growing up in a society where I often wasn’t considered to be just like everyone else, and where my parents’ values and concept of the world and parenting seemed to differ so radically from everyone else’s.
Growing up, my siblings and I were the only Iranians at my school, and I often wished I had someone I could relate to on this level. The shared memories of these feelings, common among second-generation Iranian-Americans, were a primary motivation for IAAB to create a forum for the discussion of these difficulties. Through a fun and educational five-day youth leadership camp, students will be able to meet others who share their cultural background. Having an open, accepting, and non-judgmental environment in which to talk about the Iranian-slash-American experience, and at the same time celebrate our unique, rich heritage, is something my generation could only dream of when we were younger.
In addition to meeting youth their age at the camp, the week also serves as an opportunity for campers to engage with current leaders in the Iranian-American community through panels, workshops, and lectures. This camp will be an opportunity for high school-aged members of the Iranian-American communityto reflect on their Iranian culture and their experiences growing up in this land foreign to our parents, while learning and honing their leadership and communication skills which will serve them and the Iranian-American community in the future.
I believe the key to ensuring future success in the Iranian-American community is forming lasting and meaningful bonds between its members and creating effective leaders for our future. Iranian-Americans are not one monolithic group: the Iranian expatriate community boasts a diversity of ethnicities, languages, and religions. As children of Iranian immigrants, we do not even share the common bond of memories of the old country, or the immigrant experience; some of us may not even speak our parents’ language. By making a concerted effort, therefore, to bond and create a strong, vibrant community, we can ensure that our memories and understanding of our heritage are preserved and passed on to our children, and work hand-in-hand toward the goal of mutual success in the future.
The Iranian-American Leadership Camp will take place on Thompson Island, Massachusetts the week of June 25 – June 30, 2006. Applications for campers and counselors are due April 15, 2006. Please visit www.iranianalliances.org for more information on how to apply.
