You arrogant prick!
Thinking of you makes me god damn sick.
How could I, the strong one, be so easily deceived?
You crawled in, little by little, inch by inch…
I was unable to resist your mind!
Where are you now, when I need to be with you?
How could you cut me off so easily after all we said we would do?
Does it not hurt you, not even a tiny bit?
Am I so desperate?
Still, I secretly want you deep in the night…
It doesn't matter who I'm with or even that I have become a mother,
The darker it gets the lonelier I feel without you.
I still feel there was more to say, I still think there was more to feel.
What happened to surrendering?
It really hurts me, even at this stage of the game.
I never told you but, I would've given my principles away for you.
You left me feeling so mother fucking blue,
Because I know no one, not even you, will let me be with you.
Why will this old wound not heal?
I am afraid,
What if it never heals
So what is the solution?
I know, I know…It was an illusion.
I should stop being so weak and emotional.
I have my family and friends.
I can work on my career, finish my MBA.
There is always cooking or a new hobby,
Perhaps a vacation!