So apparently more than anything else, the topic of my celibacy has become the excuse to re-hash that never-dying question: Do Iranian women put out too much, not enough, or just right?
Fact of the matter is, I can’t answer that question, mostly because it’s just not a real question. It’s more a reflection of the commentator’s own issues than anything real. But somehow, it never fails to generate much discussion *yawn*.
Thing is, by now, Iranians have lived for enough of a time in the US that trying to link their behavior to anything as banal as the place of their parents’ origin is just a stupid exercise. Perhaps for the first generation immigrants these questions are still questions, but for people of my generation who were born and raised in all parts of the US, we get our culture from so many different parts that to say “you’re a slut cause you’re Iranian” or the opposite just doesn’t hold. If I’m a slut, or a prude, it’s probably as much the fault of Kansas where I grew up as Zanjan where my mom grew up, savvy?!
But going back to me, and my vow of celibacy, and whether when it’s that time of the month, I’m going to go sex crazy or what the odds are, well, all I can say is let’s wait and see.
And yes, this is totally voluntary and here’s how it works:
Whether we like to admit it or not, having sex gets us into trouble. Not always, but enough. It also changes the perspective–for good and for bad. Here’s an example:
So you meet a guy, he’s funny, he’s nice. He has kind eyes. He can hold his own and knows how to banter like an old pro. Wow, he’s great. So you have drinks, you may have a meal or two. He tells you a funny story about his college days. You dazzle him with tales of your adventures. Hey, you may even bat an eyelash or two, tilt your head, play with your hair…
So then it’s off to the sack. You kiss and sure enough, your entire face is wet from his slobbering but no matter, kissing can be taught. Then, odor of odors, he takes off his shoes and LORD, you want to gag. The smell, that rancid smell of feet that have spent too much time in shoes. Just shoot me here. And as if that’s not enough, he crawls into bed WITH HIS SOCKS ON. oh yeah, yes he does.
And by now, you want to throw up that bottle of Merlot and well done steak you’ve had over that tittilating dinner. You keep kissing a bit but you can’t go on. So you make up an excuse: Listen dear, I really like you. You’re amazing but I’ve taken a vow of celibacy you see. and I’m not ready to break it. Can we be friends?!!
Except after that, everytime he calls, you had a gag reflex…So no friendship anymore, no more laughs, just the memory of a odor-ful night.
THAT, my friends, is just one reason to be celibate.
