This is my advice column. You can submit your questions about relationship, sex, marriage, society or any other topic you want and I will answer from my (Iranian, male, 40’s, too few hairs on the head, few too many pounds on the body) most candid but often unique perspective.
“Leather & Spank” (real name withheld by request) asks: In your today’s response to Kobra Khanoom (July 11) you mentioned S&M and that made me ask this question. While I am a bit on the more adventurous side of things sexually, my boyfriend of six months is straight as an arrow. He is the suit and tie type even in the bedroom while I prefer leather and an occasional spank. I am also wondering if I will be able to find such a relationship with an Iranian man as I have only dated khareji men so far. Is my current relationship doomed? What should I do?
Dear “Leather & Spank”; Let’s be brief about the current BF. At six months I don’t see the two of you too involved to be able to overlook the obvious sexual incompatibility. You also haven’t included other reasons that are holding you two together. So, without knowing all the details and also reading between the lines when you seem to be already looking at the possibly of future relationships (possibly with an eyeranian dude,) I’d say its time to send him packing.
As for the second part of your question, Iranian men are indeed into S&M. They are also into a lot of other things, as long as you find the right one. There will also be many Iranian men that are going to be more of an “arrow” than your current BF and if you get into a relationship with one of those, you’ll be right where you are in six months.
There are advantages and disadvantages to everything and the general question of dating an Iranian versus a khareji is certainly no exception. Besides, what works for one may not work for another. I have – dated and – married both (not at the same time!) and have my own opinion, but since you didn’t ask, I will leave that for another time.
For now, get out there and find a man into leather, spanking will probably come as a natural bonus.
If you wish to contact me with your own questions or comments, please write to firstname.lastname@example.org