Lately, something as simple as grocery shopping has turned into Mission Impossible. The Sweet Pea is going through the “terrible twos” stage, which means he can turn into the Unsweet Pea at the slightest provocation. The most innocuous things can set him off. Like, nothing at all. With that in mind, I approach the grocery store with the theme to Mission Impossible playing threateningly in my head. As I browse aisle by aisle, I am acutely aware that with each second, I am running a little bit more out of time. I picture the opening montage match lighting the gunpowder line towards the bomb. The bomb with curly hair, fat feet and jam in the corner of his mouth who is for now sitting inconspicuously on the front seat of my shopping cart.
The shopping trip thus becomes a sort of adrenaline rush akin to the most dangerous spy mission. And like the most skillful of double-crossing agents, I have my bag of tricks when it comes to distracting the enemy. My arsenal: An assortment of toys, snacks, and horrible singing that makes the surrounding shoppers take a wide detour away from my cart, as if they too sense that there is a stick of dynamite hidden under that adorable Fuzzy Bear jumpsuit. On the good days, we manage to get out safe and sound, even with a nice compliment from the cashier on what a “good boy” he is. But on the bad days, oooooohhhhhh… It’s like the bomb riding the scene from Dr. Strangelove. Except more earsplitting.
The good news is I still have it good. Way way good. The terrible twos are only a mild trauma meant to prepare you for the real challenge ahead: Those tantrumastic teen-age years! Can’t wait 🙂