At what point do I realize that this is still an alive relationship or a dead one? At what point do I say I am done and throw in the towel. Just when I think I am moving one step forward, we argue over smallest issues that are like KOOHE ALBORZ to us.
Is it me? Am I the problem? Being bored has taken over. When we fight, I do not even feel an ounce of sadness for him yet when we are okay, I feel love for my so-called other half. IS THIS CRAZY or what?
Its a circle in my mind—>boro, naro,bemoon,namoon. I wonder how many people are truly happy after a divorce if there is no ‘khian’ in the picture. Maybe there is khianat in my mind, maybe I am ‘khianating’ since I am not giving 100% of myself anymore. I don’t even think I am giving 70%.
50-50 is what I am giving. Putting 50% energy in this marriage to keep it alive because some where in my heart I do want this but as the days go by and I get older, will I ever throw in the towel? If yes, at what age? I don’t want to be 45 or 50 before realizing I should have walked away sooner.
The sad part is that I believe he is doing his best to keep me and this marriage but I can see the tired look on his face when we fight. I can see he is close to the edge of this bridge called marriage and may soon leap. Does that make me happy? I do not know. Do I want him to take the first steps so that I can say it was him who gave up on us? Who knows? Maybe, maybe not.
Back to my question. How many of you or those that you know ended up happy after the marriage ended?
