Ask not what Iranians can do for Iran

“Ask not what Iranians can do for Iran, but what you can do to make America (or Israel) do things for Iranians.”

-A Speech by King of Kings Fred the Peacock and Former Chicken, Who Calls Those Who Disagree With Him, BUGGERS. Classy and witty, he is on the frontlines of fighting for democracy and educating with taste and tact, why Iranians in Iran are incapable of getting rid of a bad regime. If you don’t think that democracy can be served fast-food style, then you are not patient (HA!), but according to Fred actually a bugger, mullah worshipper communist who probably smokes too much weed. 

I am intrigued by Fred’s love affair with the magical gift that American action can bestow on undemocratic, tyrannical nations densely populated by Muslims. He actually compares this possibility to what America “did” for Europe during WW II. Did you know they themselves wrote constitutions guaranteeing health care for all citizens while Americans are threatening secession if health care passes? You see, dear Iranian cattle, Europe does not owe to itself what happened after the war. The credit is due entirely to America, and should the great shaytan repeat such an allied offense, well it will be a non stop, one way monorail ride to democracy, freedom, and no more thumb printing at airports!

Before you get out your crayons and markers to write the new constitution, realize that most Americans do not view us as worthy or capable of partnership. In fact, there has never really been a trustworthy partnership. Sometimes we had leaders who were so dependent on the US, that once the US took that paternalistic attitude to the toilet, as our beloved James Carter did following the failure of the island of stability, we turned into save dwellers who jump over fires and threaten Israel, while letting facial hair grow to the ground (even some women!).

I don’t think that we Iranians should deny this winning lottery ticket should Fred’s sponsors deliver it to us. We will be free as Europe to draft treaties and constitutions, elect freely, and debate honestly, without fear of finding family members face down in the caspian. It will be a sweet deal and you can guarantee that your grandchildren, and their grandchildren will be ever grateful for these blogs and demands for neo-conservative policies to “help” Iran. Democracy and freedom are not free and until American blood is spilled for Iranian democracy, we can’t expect our rights and freedoms as Iranians. 


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