Why Iranians Aren’t Very Smart

The incorrect assumption and the thing that irks me the most, is that the Iran Deal forces us to necessarily assume that the people of Iran are in on their own subjugation. For the illusion to work, we must first and foremost accept and really believe that this is the kind of government the people of Iran overwhelmingly, actively, culturally, and truly want for themselves. And that everyone in Iran supports it.

Which is so totally wrong. I bet those who support the deal also think that Iranian women consider wearing the Hejab to be part of their “…rich tribal customs and culture…” too. People who are always amazed at how human-like the monkeys appear to dance.

This is how you get Presidents like Obama congratulating the Iranian people on a faked, staged, and pre-determined Iranian Presidential election. The obvious oxymoron being the oddest association of the word “Iran” with “President”.

First, here’s how Iran’s propaganda machine works, to perpetuate the myth that they are the authorized representatives of free-appearing (and dancing) Iranians. Iran only allows select leading Western news media access to Iran. You know who they are. And Iran only gives them permission to report from inside Iran, and remain un-arrested and un-expelled, as long as they promise that all the stories, and especially all the imagery is reviewed and approved first.

This is why finding any unflattering pictures of Khamenei or any bad photo of Iran period, or the slightest critical story that tells the real corrupt truth about any one of Iran’s leaders and the ample political tomfoolery, is all but impossible to find. But not impossible.

For example, not one word about the missing $3Billion Iranian Bank scandal, that directly implicated Ahmadinejad, was ever reported by these “authorized media” in the West. Even though it was headline news inside Iran. The fact that it was posted (never published) by the Washington Post, might now have something to do with Mr. Rezaian’s accelerated weight loss plan.

The other suggestion that is wrong, and the primary basis of this entire opinion of mine, is that the Iranian people are smart. And they they are smart because they are intelligent and somewhat educated.

The fact is, Iranian intelligence is average. OK fine, above average. But their education is completely censored. So the truth is, that the Iranian people inside Iran don’t actually have any freedom to be smart, because they don’t have free access to ANY or ALL the information that they want access to. More importantly, they cannot get the information that they would need, in order to be considered smart.

Most importantly however, and what is the crux of what having free access to information means, is that above ALL, the Iranian people are prohibited from freely saying WHATEVER they want to say. Even if they were smart enough to think it.

What this means, is that in order to stay sane under the constantly surveilled conditions in Iran, to survive there, you have to essentially stop thinking. So, after 37 years of the strictest prohibition on “certain thoughts”, the Iranian people, as a whole, on average, entire generations, have simply learned to “turn off” that part of their brain that controls how smart they are. They automatically know not to look up “certain stuff” online. And they certainly have learned not to say “certain stuff” out loud. Which is the primary basis of my posit, that we can now be pretty sure of, is that the Iranian people as a whole, and on average, definitely don’t think about “certain stuff”.

And if you are willfully or automatically stopping yourself from looking up, thinking or saying “certain stuff”, well that’s just not too smart. Although it’s not actually your fault.

Those who now naively think the US-Iran Deal is going to be a magic pill that delivers confrontation-free political reforms sometime in the future, in addition to denying that institutionalized, brutality backed, thought control exists in Iran, argue that Iranians have access to the internet, text messaging, and smartphones, as proof of Iranian smarts.

That access however, is completely controlled and monitored by the government, ironically using the latest in Israeli snooping software, the best in the world. Certainly not what anyone would ever agree is information or internet freedom.

As a result of the snooping fact and reality in Iran, Iranians have also simply learned NOT to access anything from their latest smartphones, or to Tweet or Post or Text or Viber or Skype or use anything made for free by Google, or even Like anything that would appear to be “certain stuff”. Especially on Facebook. Which the government has learned is a great tool to post direct un-vague threats for you and all your “friends” to see.

Above all, texting anything even mildly contagious to friend in Iran, on cell networks that are almost all run by former government security folks, as their government retirement franchise, is fraught with certain guaranteed fear. Anything. Especially jokes. Which can actually land you and everyone you sent the joke to, and everyone they re-sent it to, in Evin prison.

Yes. Even Jokes are a crime in Iran. Because the Supreme Leader cannot ever take one.

Iranians would rather be caught Sexting porn than sending a political joke. Which is why the primary use of Smartphones in Iran is for the increasingly necessary carnal purpose of flirting with each other.

The other claim being made is that Iranians are painfully tech savvy and they all use VPN encrypted networks to access their porn on the internet. Which is the most stupid argument once you learn how easy it is to see one of these networks. And if you and the government can see them… Well, even if you aren’t a smart Iranian, you can at least do that math.

Even if Iranians were able to send any kind of secure messages to each other inside Iran, you know, like to rally, or gather together, for even the most innocent meeting to plan a protest march, or express any sort of opinion, the very act of doing it is strictly prohibited. And a felony crime.

ANYTHING remotely objectionist, is immediately punished severely, and immediately recorded as one of the 2 usual felony crimes, that the Iranian people are almost always charged with. Either you have insulted the Holy Supreme Leader (even if he wasn’t the one you texted the joke to), the Holy Revolution, the Holy Qoran, Holy Mohammad, or Holy Islam in general.

Yes, occasionally the Iranian police will catch a murderer. But not too often. Actual real crime in Iran is rare, given the many other ways the government has at its disposal and all too frequently uses to imprison you.

So basically, Iranians learn to stay away from anything that would be mildly considered to be objecting to anything Holy. Which is ironically the very first minimum requirement of what anyone would consider to be Freedom.

The other crime Iran loves to charge you with is “Drug Trafficking”. Which is in quotes because it is code. Almost all cases are framed by security officials planting drugs on frequently targeted politically inconvenient individuals. Either that, or we have to admit that Iran’s promise of a moral society under Islam, has been a massive failure, and people in Iran just love to do them some drugs. On a massive scale. You would have to believe that since 20 out of the over 30 people executed each month, must have been real honest actual “Drug Traffickers”. They only also just happened to be Students, Teachers, Union Leaders, Journalists, and obvious Political Opponents. You know, on the side. But their main job though was certainly “Drug Trafficking”. You know, because of the same exact amount of heroin, that is always found in their homes.

So, as long as these conditions exist in Iran, regardless of how beautiful and hot the plastic surgeried women look hiking around the mountains trails of Tehran, or how many bedazzled gold plated luxury cars the Rich Kids of Tehran bathe their privileged lives in, you cannot ever use them in any argument, that would suggest that the Iranian people, are smart.

They simply are not allowed to be. This becomes a real problem when you assume and suggest and try to argue that the US-Iran Deal is going to somehow reform these conditions.

The day Iranians are free, and can safely express their opinions, and have free access to unmonitored information, you can, and most definitely should reference their opinions.

Until then, simply “assuming” that the Iranian people are smarter than the government that rules them, and that this is enough, is not a valid argument. In fact it is pretty clear cowardice.

Because what if they are smarter than their government? So what? They are still governed by a really bad system they don’t want, and can never change. Never.

And worse, while they are being silenced, they are also forced to watch, and listen, and choke on how they are being represented to the world. As if they willingly support this government. Staged propaganda footage, and fake feeds of carefully scripted media, to the for-profit outside world, greedily fighting one another over the like, follow, and click-through driven exclusive rights to broadcast, just how perfectly Moslem the Iranian people have been trained to appear.

No one outside of Iran knows the biggest con, is the one that claims you are automatically Moslem because your father was automatically Moslem, because his father was automatically Moslem. According to the convenient Automatic Moslem rule. Meanwhile not one of the 3 generations of your family ever prayed or went to a Mosque. Ever. OK, maybe once for a funeral. And for good luck in the upcoming college entrance exams.

So the Iranian people are too perfectly oppressed now. They are too well trained not to object. Their behavior is so automatic, it appears natural, and true. Very convincing to the always untrained defective Western eye.

Deep down though, Iranians have enough self respect left that they completely know they are doing, what they are doing. They accept that they are only pretending to go along with their oppression, to survive until the next dictator comes along. If they trust you, they will even secretly tell you this, “Don’t worry baba, these people won’t last. Any day now, they will be gone…” These same people and most Iranians, even if unwisely, and vainly, hope for the seemingly impossible, “The Benevolent Dictator”.

All of this acting, actually works in the government’s favor. Because as long as Iranians don’t dare to actually do any objecting, they don’t mind one whit, that the Iranian people don’t buy what they are being sold as to the rest of the world.

And as long as the Iranian people don’t do “certain stuff”, even if deep down you think they are not long for this world, well, that just works out pretty well for everyone.

But it’s not very smart.

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