Competing with skunks
Skunk spray is not only incredibly stinky, it's also notoriously difficult to get rid of

 

 

Sophie Saviour
November 3, 2006
iranian.com

I live in the heart of downtown but still pretty close to wildlife. That's what I like best about the city I live in: wild animals freely walking down the street and feeling safe without anyone trapping, hurting or eating them. At least not yet!

Being close to the wild has its own wild sides though. Last week I noticed a very foul and persistent smell which kept me awake for quite a while. The next night, the same smell filled my place around mid-night. It was really difficult to sleep and I was unable to find the source of it.

A couple of nights later, while walking home around mid-night, I noticed a beautiful creature with a white stripe on its back. It wasn't a raccoon and definitely not a squirrel. I figured out just in time, before getting any closer: Aha, that's a "raasoo!" Source of that smell and my sleep deprivation for two nights! It was a beautiful skunk! How can such a beauty have such a stinky smell? They say skunk spray is not only incredibly stinky, it's also notoriously difficult to get rid of.

I remembered: Skunk sprays when startled. It is a self-defense system.

To be on the safe side, I went to the other side of the street peacefully and quietly; not to scare the animal. A guy walking close by, did exactly the same thing. We had a quick chat and both laughed about the fact that people don't get close to skunks or pet them for the same reason. Skunk spray is quite powerful and may cause nausea if you are near. Also the smell sticks with you for a while, difficult to deodorize!

The same night, surfing internet and browsing Iranian.com I thought: "what personality types might write some of the things I see here"? There are all types of articles and art works. Fascinating writings, beautiful paintings, wishy-washy comments, angry letters, mean responses. Interesting blend of people and views and quite amusing! However, I found a couple of the foul-mouthed and stinky thoughts were a little bit unbearable. I believe in freedom of speech and I am not fussy about the way people think or write or even judge. But this one was too out of ordinary and not in a good way. I thought to myself: this guy is sick and has such a foul mouth (well, in writing). It stinks so bad!

The correlation between people and skunks started at this point.

It was a funny thought to start with then I thought: Isn't it mean and nasty to compare people with skunks? It's not really fair to skunks. It's their natural defense system, right? They don't think about it. It happens! It's a mechanical/chemical organism which is triggered by fear. But I didn't find a better correlation at the time and decided to stick with this one. May God (and educated skunks) forgive me for what I've sinned here.

I figured there are at least four groups of skunk-people:

Scorpio Skunk (SS) who sprays once but the bad smell stays forever. SS says or writes something and you will never forget the scorpion bite! The smell stays with you until end of your life if you survive the bite! It really hurts!

Nagging Skunk (NS) who sprays a little bit but constantly! It's not serious but at some point you get upset and reach to the point of "enough is enough"! After all it's not a perfume we are talking about!

Compunctious/Guilty Skunk (CS) who sprays out of fear when feels attacked but finds out that there was no attack and feels guilty about spraying! CS may say or write something out of emotion and send it back at you without thinking. When CS finds that there was no personal attack planned, feels guilty and tries to take it back. (not quite possible to take back a smelly spray!)

Not Being Able to Stop Skunk (NBATSS) is the worst type! NBATSS has a defect in its system which triggers the spraying action at all time without a break! Scientists tried for a long time to discover why this happens and haven't found a clear answer yet. Some other types of skunks may transform to this type after a certain age or a trauma. But mostly they are defective grown ups. It is a possibility of genetic influence but not confirmed yet. Whatever the cause, NBATSS repeats spraying and makes it unbearable for people around; the spray is fairly strong!

We all see and experience *spraying* in our daily lives and we tolerate them for different reasons: love and affection, social values, job security and so on; however, there is a limit. The NBATSS *spraying* I've experienced lately, has affected other people as well. I found lots of letters and comments about it. I could feel the anger and connected with those who were totally disgusted by what NBATSS may call art!

Here we go; I am going to step on the NBATSS and tell you who I am talking about: One is a caricaturist who lives in Canada and the other one has a radio show and lives in Switzerland (go figure!). God help me with spraying now!

My two cents: no matter what type, stay away from skunky people. After all, "Sari ke dard nemikoneh, dastmaal nemibandan."

***

Now that all is out, let me have my disclaimers here:

Disclaimer#1: It's not about YOU. I don't know you personally!
Disclaimer#2: It's not about male/female issues!
Disclaimer#3: I am not mean (or at least I don't believe I am!)
Disclaimer#4: I am not responsible for any arguments between you and your partner/spouse! It wasn't really my fault that you live with a NSJ
Disclaimer#5: Skunks are beautiful animals and spraying is a natural behavior for them.
Disclaimer#6: Different types of skunks do exist! Also different genders!
Disclaimer#7: I don't like NBATSS and don't care for them.
Disclaimer#8: I know, I know! I am *spraying* here! Comment