Hooray to hooligans
Forget university students
July 14, 2003
The Iranian
So ... you're telling me that a group
of pimple-face, nineteen-year-old university students, high on
testosterone and nicotine, are starting a movement that will bring
freedom and democracy for Iran? Intellectual wannabes whose mamas
still wash their clothes and make their beds, set to pave the road
to Iranian renaissance and secular heaven. What a bunch of
crap.
You must be extremely desperate to believe what they're
feeding you. I wouldn't trust university students with washing
my $800 pickup truck, let alone leading a movement. University
students movement my foot. You heard it right folks, student movements
suck. Hay, take a deep breath, I'm just warming up.
Iranian university students fall into two categories: governmental
students and non-governmental students.
Governmental students are paid members of the ministry of
information or information branch of the revolutionary guards or
information
sector of the ministry of justice who enter universities without
passing the entrance exam. Their primary function is to spy on
other students and keep a close watch on any undesirable activities
inside or outside the campuses. Don't get me wrong, many
of them are actually pretty damn good students and while serving
their masters, they get a good education.
Many of them do the job not because they actually believe in
a cause but simply it's an easy way for them to get their college
education without having to pass the entrance exam or pay for private
colleges. And one has to admit that they are good at what they
do. They wear the latest designer jeans, put eccess gel in their
hair; some even sport a ponytail, and shave every single
day.
None-governmental university students are those who pass
an artificially difficult entrance exam and make it by spending
many
months or years locked in a room studying while being fed and pampered
by their adoring parents. These students are mostly the best in
the class with no social skills, imagination, or any other talent.
They get accepted into universities not because of practical understanding
of any subject matter, or potential for future development, but
they simply make it by memorizing everything they read.
Their motivation for getting into university is mostly based
on prestige and parental approval other than the actual act of
learning.
Most have never worked a day in their lives and never had to worry
much about money. Since most have not been outside their small
towns, they are naïve and believe everything they hear.
Here you have it ladies and gents, these are the heroes who are
going to free us from religious slavery and bring about freedom
and democracy to Iran. Give me a break.
I personally know a number of people who have running battles
with the paramilitary folks in the streets of Tehran
every night and
I can
assure you that none of them are "university students". As
a matter of fact you can hardly see a "university student" in
middle of the mayhem.
People who stand up against the paramilitary basijis
and take the brutal beating are unemployed youngsters who never
get
a chance to enter the university cause they can't memorize
every single word in their textbooks. They are a bunch of high
school flunkies who take it out in the streets to punish those
who constantly tell them, "You can't get admitted
to universities cause you're not smart enough."
These are the lads who feel left out, kicked out, punk'd
out, spat on, and disrespected because they are not good enough
to sit in a classroom and get a higher education. These are guys
who lack any prospect for a better future simply because they can't
pass a moronically difficult entrance exam. These are the people
who fearlessly stand against cruel basijis and take it like a man.
Let's give it up for them boys and girls.
I solute the hooligans, misfits, bacheh tanbals, thugs, gangsters,
and all the dysfunctional non-university-student youths of Iran
who are slapping the basij every night in the dark corners of my
hometown, Tehran.
Forget the university students and support the hooligans and
high school dropouts. They are our best chance to achieve freedom
and democracy.
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