Oral thoughts
Responses to news about oral sex/mouth cancer link
February 27, 2004
iranian.com
Rome is burning. This is the beginning of the end.
We are all doomed. Armageddon has arrived. There is no reason
to live. Nothing good would ever last.
These thoughts are
going through my mind as I read the email a friend sent a while
back.
No, the subject of the email had nothing to do with elections,
reformers, politics, the economy, loss of jobs, Iraq war, Middle
East conflict, or any other boring subject.
The email
contained the results of a research conducted by a British health
organization with devastating conclusions. According to
the research, "Oral sex is shown to be linked to mouth cancer"!
The
researchers have concluded that, "Oral sex can
lead to oral tumors" and "both
cunnilingus and fellatio can infect people's mouths." [News here]
Like
any healthy heterosexual man I'm devastated. Linking oral sex
to mouth cancer is upsetting for any man whose highlight of
the day is to have his Ferrari
pass through the carwash for a moment or two.
But I was curious
to know what other people thought of this research and how the
results will affect people's sexual behavior.
I wanted to get a feel of people's reaction -- both men and
women
Through years of writing for Iranian.com and other publications,
I have managed to gather a great number of emails. This database
contains hundreds of email addresses of people who have responded
to my articles. Some have given me love and many others have
wished that I end up in a ditch and die a slow death.
A few days
ago, I sent a random to some of the people in my email
list and asked for their opinion. Within few hours, my mailbox
was flooded with replies. Some funny, some nasty, and some plain
hilarious.
I would
like to share some of these emails with you folks:
Dear
Sir,
I really don't care about this topic. The last time I got
oral sex from
my wife, Ronald Regan was president.
***
Siamack,
Please do not send this shit to my email box. I have
more important things to do to read this crap.
PS. I hope you
get mouth cancer you c__sucker.
***
I'm married and I don't worry about it. Sometimes I wish the
wife would get mouth cancer and shut up for a change.
***
Siamack,
Do not forward this article to my girlfriend.
***
You are the most disgusting individual. How dare you disgrace
women. I hope men like you never get oral sex.
***
It's a conspiracy by lesbians and/or feminists. I don't
buy it.
***
In the world where millions are dying of heart attack and
aids, what kind of asshole will fund a research like this? Don't
these
scientists have anything
better to do?
***
Siamak,
I'm getting married to a wonderful Iranian man next week and
I don't have to worry about giving another b__j__for the rest
of my life.
***
Siamack,
Please don't send junk mail. My father has mouth cancer and I
don't think he has ever given anyone a b__j__... I hope.
***
When reading this article, ask yourself:
1) Was I part of this
study?
2) If I was, in which group was I tested in?
3) Didn't a
report come out 6 months ago indicating that this
practice promoted healthy living, good dental hygiene, as well
as preveneting heart
attack?
***
That explains why she never called back!!!!!
***
This is not good. How come nobody comes up with a report demonstrating
that oral sex is good for women like the Atkins diet?
***
They already have a cure for this cancer: it's called anal
sex.
***
As a scientist, I disagree with this research. Any decent researcher
can tell you that research has to be conducted in a controlled
environment. The
data
would be valid only if all research subjects were prostitutes who engaged
in the act
of oral sex at least five or six times a day and majority of them ended up
with mouth cancer. The mentioned prostitues need to be nonsmokers and lead
a clean
life!
***
Who volunteered for this?
***
Siamack,
You are the grossest individual. I hate men. All you
guys think about is pleasing your d___s. I want to throw up when
I see thing
like this.
***
Dear sir,
Do not send filthy material like this to my email address.
My children also have access to this address and can open your
junk.
Next time send your nasty
emails to my new address: --------@cox.net
***
Thank you for sending this to me. I can't wait to show it to
my husband.
***
I swear I only did it once. I'll see a doctor tomorrow.
***
Siamack,
This research is bullshit. I'm the queen of oral sex and the
mouth is doing just fine.
Thanks for asking.
***
Mr. Baniameri,
You are a sick individual who obviously suffers from lack of
morality and Christian values. I recommend seeing Mel Gibson's
The Passion. It might open your eyes.
***
Simack,
Do not pollute the information superhighway with your
filth. I never ask my girlfriend for oral sex because I have
too much
respect for her. Anal
sex,
that's
whole different story.
***
Be nazar miyaad khodet khaily vaaredi.
***
Forget mouth cancer, I'm worried about nose and ear cancer.
* Send
this page to your friends
|
