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In a forty-five minute address before a Joint Session of Congress the tough-talking Israeli Prime Minister convinced a heretofore bitterly divided U.S. political class to lay aside its budget battles and concentrate on America’s transcendent purpose: to resettle Palestinian Arabs in outer Mongolia so Israel need no longer face the Arab “demographic threat” to Jewish democracy.The nuance-laden speech, entitled “They Must Go!” was interrupted 637 times by standing ovations.

...“If they are not stopped from having babies on Jewish land,” said California’s other Senator Diane Feinstein, “Jews will soon be a minority in their own country. In other words, it will be the Holocaust all over again.”

“And that would undermine the free market,” added Kentucky Senator Rand Paul, “because God gave the land to the Jews, and no one has the right to tell a landlord what to do with his land.”

“It would also be a defeat for immigrants’ rights,” said Representative Luis Gutierrez (D-Ill.) , “because Israel is a nation of immigrants continually made subject to terrorist attacks by Arab nativists refusing to recognize that unlimited immigration is good for everyone. They’ll find that out once we relocate them to Mongolia.”