I am your prostitute, saint, bitch, nymph, mother,
daughter, sister, and friend
By Sahar Imanabadi
April 29, 2002
True Story: An Arab woman was raped. When this knowledge
was brought fourth to her parents, they were outraged. Their daughter had "brought
shame" to the family. To address the problem, they had their son kill their
daughter for being raped. When the brother was asked in an interview how he felt
shooting his sister six times, he replied, "Well, once a glass breaks it becomes
As a Persian woman I come from a long line of woman who have been demoralized for
their sexuality. I come from generations of enslavement, where a woman's virginity
becomes a man's rightful possession. The yearning of a woman is covered with cloth
because men are seen as uncontrollable beasts who can not control their sexual hunger.
A woman's desire for sexual contact is judged as unholy and less than. The number
of men a woman has slept with is the cur-x-fiction of a community. This cur-x-fiction
has gotten so out of control that woman do it to other woman. Mother's disown their
daughters, friends point fingers and sisters become shameful. While men continue
to binge and purge their hunger for woman.
Doesn't anyone want to
know whom these men have slept with? Oh that's right. They sleep with "prostitutes
and sluts who love too... spread their legs!"
Sorry that you don't like to hear such words from a nice girl but don't forget your
mother, girlfriend, sister, and wife are also women. As the Persian poet Rumi said,
"You dare throw stones at me? Well here are your stones and I am your mirror."
As you judge and pray for salvation let me tell you that I too played into this game
of illusion. I too played into the game of a "good girl," "proper
woman," and "holy female". Like many I was taught that good girls
never had a boyfriend and the most precious thing I could offer a man was my virginity.
Like many I would wait around for this one man.
Of course these men are also brainwashed. They too are not allowed to think for themselves.
Their parents, community and society tell them that the quality of a woman lies between
her legs! Now that I am awake I am here to tell you that I am angry!
I am angry for giving fourth my family, culture, community, and society the power
to tell me how lovable I am. I am angry for giving my self-worth to a boy in-order
to make him feel more like a man and believe that his significance is subjected to
how many men I have been with.
Is this what love is suppose to be? Is love all about how good of a man I can make
you feel? If so what does that say about your incompleteness?
My voice today is the voice of millions of woman who have come before me and millions
of women who are the future.
Many of you might disagree with my disposition. But as hard as it is to hear this,
a woman's worth is subjected to her virginity. If not, then why is the Virgin Mary
disgraced as a virgin in order to be a mother? It's as if God deliberately gave his
children the beautiful pleasures of sex only to tell them that it is sinful and
unholy (for woman, mostly). Does anyone ask what the hell is wrong with this picture?
I guess most people don't want to take the red pill and wake up from the matrix!
Reality check: Today thousands of woman are subjected to torture because they too
desire sex. Acid is poured on a woman if it were known that she had several partners.
This is done so all men can reject a sexual woman. Women are beaten, stoned and of
course murdered! If a woman has money she may be lucky to go to a gynecologist so
she can have her hymen sewed back, so on her wedding night her husband can feel like
a man as he conquers and owns the soul of the "untouched" woman.
Wow, how lucky! After years
of fucking around, this treasured prince gets to mark his virgin territory. He comes
to believe that he has saved his "virgin" wife because she waited thousands
and thousands of endless nights for this one special, special man who will make all
her dreams come true. (Oh by the way, too bad if the prince turns out to be a rat
in disguise and shatters her dreams and hopes! But hey, remember you've got to make
him feel like a man!)
I can no longer play into this game! I'm sorry I have played into this illusion this
long, but it no longer serves my evolution. I want to bring a justice and wholeness
to all the broken glasses in the world. I am here to tell the universe that I am
I am your prostitute, saint, bitch, nymph, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.
I am also your whore, nun, slut and virgin!
I am not broken! I am whole in full glory and love!