Sex and Iranian girl/women's dilemma.


by Faramarz_Fateh

Last Sunday, my brother, our cousin and their friend Sahba were at our home for dinner. All these guys are in their mid to late Thirties and single.

None of them is a Goerge Clooney or Brad Pitt double, but all are relatively good looking and successful and two of the 3 have great hair.

My brother started dating Iranian women around 4-5 years ago after he started feeling more Iranian. The other 2 guys have dated Iranian girls exclusively since they "discovered" girls at age 15.

The three of them were discussing how quickly dating and relationships ends up in sex. I have been married for 27 years and my wife was my first and last girlfriend. So, I am very out of touch with the dating scene other than what I hear.

But apparently these days, having sex on the 3rd, 2nd or even the first date is normal. I would have accepted this about American women without any hesitation. But Iranian women, first or second date?! Wow. Good thing I don't have a daughter.

What these three clowns were making fun of was what the girls/women tell them after the sex; "oh, I have never done this before, I don't know what came over me" or the crying, or crying sometimes accompanied by getting dressed and pretending to want to leave; out of shame I guess.

Sahba was saying that he can now even predict with scientific accuracy how long after the sex the remorseful statements and crying etc etc starts, depending on the girl, her age and most times how much alcohol has been involved.

My wife was listening to these stories and statements and naturally defending the women's position. That if a man has sex on the first date, we congratulate him but if a woman does it, we call her a slut.

I agree. There should not be any difference between men and women.

But what I and the 3 "man sluts" discussing this whole issue don't understand is why the women have to bring up the stories about how they had never done this before. Don't think for a moment any of the guys will buy your stories.

In my opinion, if you are going to have sex with someone you just met but you are attracted to, hell, enjoy it. Don't ruin the enjoyment with guilt.

Thats my opinion. What is yours.


more from Faramarz_Fateh

It was good, but its not real

by Alborzi (not verified) on

Unfortunately I left Iran when I was 17. In those times we never dared to have sex with our girlfriend, but this time I went to Iran after 30 years, they have all changed. I might say that they are even more liberal than the American girls were in 1970. And all those girls I never had sex with have daughters who do it. But it was a beautiful innocent time, Its like Shah, he is dead and gone, never to go back.


Vah Vah, hold my hair back while I OGH

by n.zanincanadai1 (not verified) on

Mr. Fateh.

Iranian men and Iranian women are just like any body else in this world. Hard to believe huh?
The world has changed, and I have faith in you. You can change to.
"Be Taraf " knows what he is saying.


The Four Clowns

by IranianMother (not verified) on

Dear Mr. Fateh:

Your article should be more aptly titled "Sex and Iranian Men's Dilemma." Whether a man or a woman sleep with each other on their first date, is hardly your business or mine. It is a choice between two conscenting adults. Whether she cries afterwards, or they take a shower together, or she stays the night, or they go out to get something to eat, all of those are behaviors and choices two conscenting adults make, whatever feels good to each of them and hopefully to both of them. It is rather uncooth and unbelievable of you, a father and a married man in his middle age, to get off on private stories of your single friends, telling them to the world, and feeling really smug. You really should have had a daughter, Sir. If you did, and if you were a really good father, enjoying a loving and trusting relationship with your daughter, she would tell you what she is thinking about relationships, sex, men, and particularly Iranian men.

She would tell you how Iranian men would go out of their way to present themselves as things they aren't, lying their way through the entire relationship, hoping to have this one extra Iranian girl as their latest trophy, about whom to go and tell their other friends and brothers over the weekend, discarding her, dismissing her, and bad-mouthing her just as soon as they have slept with her.

She would tell you of the many Iranian men who would sleep with her and disappear, never returning calls, and all of a sudden showing up with an "imported wife" from Tehran, whom they think has the right family, looks, and credentials for marriage--the most important one of which is that she is (still) quiet and timid and isn't por-rou because she was raised here and graduated from UCLA. She would tell you that she cried with the shame of having slept with a clown.

Iranian men have many things to learn about relationships with any woman. The first thing they have to learn, and unfortunately for you and your wife, you will have to learn it, too, is to learn to respect women, wherever they are from and in whatever capacity they are associated. Iranian women will also have to learn their lessons, the most important one of which is to stay away from Iranian men, and go find themselves a decent man who likes them for who and what they are, doesn't have age-old cultural and religious hang-ups, and doesn't pursue them just to do them and then go around telling his friends how he did them, and how they cried just before they yell out to the next group of Iranian girls, "Next!"

Perhaps if as the older brother and friend you grow up first, your friends might follow suit. I was appalled by your piece. Please stick to the other subjects you blog about, because this one, Mr. Fateh, shows much more of you than we are able to stomach.


hey Nader you are nuts

by Anonymously (not verified) on

"The Real Nader Vanaki" May I have your attention please?May I have your attention please? Will the real Nader Vanaki please stand up?

Is it true you are crazy and in need of help?


A brutally honest observation

by IranianMan9 (not verified) on

Mr Fateh, your generation was the lucky one in terms of relationships and marriage. You knew who you were marrying and you didn't have to put up with all this nonsense.

Girls were much more decent and they respected their values. They wouldn't either try to convince you that it was their "right" to sleep around with whoever they wanted before they met you, or come up with all kinds of lies and bad-acting and even surgeries to manipulate you into believing that they had never had sex before!

Guys were not liars only interested in using and abusing girls. They did not fake their every emotion, feeling and belief and lie about everything they are, just to manipulate and use the girl. They didn't have to pretend that they are "open-minded" and "don't care about her past" and "don't even like virgins" to pass for intelligent men, while inside they would hate they idea to marry a girl who's not a virgin.

This generation is screwed up. Many young Iranian men have just given up on marriage altogether and just don't care anymore. And girls are desperately using every trick and manipulation to "trap" someone into marriage.

Maybe the next generations will do better.


sex is...

by horny kachal (not verified) on

what da a hell is going on here, heheh, mr. framerz don't get upset ok,hehe, here comes at you. what's this sex with iranian girls or non iraninan? does it matter? I read your point "if you are going to have sex with someone you just met but you are attracted to, hell, enjoy it " I think you are just horny like the rest of us. tell us, how many porno movies you are watching every day? you are probably very capable of having sex and you do not want to cheat on your wife!? so, don't feel guilty....if someone is naturally attracted to you then go ahead and have fun but respect your wife.
you're describing your own sexual desire here and afraid that kids/wife are gonna find out that old dad is looking know....ok..go have it but be careful. iranian girls are human being just like everyoneelse. if your friends had sex at the first date,,,well if they don't then guys like me find someone else. it's their choice.



It is Sahba's fault

by a girl with headache (not verified) on

Sahba jaan, it is normal that it always happens to you!

With a feminin name like Sahba, and being sooooooo ugly and Kachal and with the bad skin of yours, it is normal any woman after sex and once the effect of the Alcohol is gone, would cry...really really hard. Or maybe it is your bad sex, or your shortcomings...there is defointely room to cry!!!!!

It is funny how come it appens only for ugly ones or the guys with some insecurities....hahahah..Ok I got the others avoid.

If you were a little bit good looking like Cloony or Pitt, or you knew how to do it, you REALLY think a girl would cry?


PS: In Iran gorbeh dastesh beh goosht nemireseh...mige boo mideh!


To Faramarz_Fateh

by Be Taraf (not verified) on

My dear, your article is full of racist, sexist, and contradictive remarks. And you consider yourself moral authority?

“I would have accepted this about American women without any hesitation”

“Wow. Good thing I don't have a daughter”

“I agree. There should not be any difference between men and women”


To All: The Real Nader Vanaki Speaks Out

by Nader Vanaki (not verified) on

If you notice that all the hateful postings today are the work of one person. I have never been disrespectful to women nor called for execution of anyone. Most of the rebuttals here also seem to be the work of the same Kouroush Sassanian. The demented loser admitted on this website that he posts under my name, Kafka, etc...

My guess is that he has never had a girlfriend and left Iran before reaching puberty.

To tell my writings apart from K.S. just note punctuation and vocabulary. For the time being enjoy the lunatic's world.



by ramiN (not verified) on

It is so true and it is international.
Every women does the same thing , apparently they have only slept with 2 men before you and you are the third, even though you had sex with them after 2 dates!!
which is kind of hard to believe but anyways that is how it is ...
and they can't belive they did it and they never ever sleep with any one on the first or second date, they usually take 6 month!!
Yea right!


To Anonymous5345665 - BRAVO!!!!!

by Anonymoose (not verified) on

Very well put! Thank you!!!! Hamashoon kooneh tamameh alamro daridard, ama hamshoon donbaleh yek "dokhtareh" "Khoob, pak va najob" migardan!!!!


Nader Vanaki!

by Anonymoose (not verified) on

Once again Nader has graced with his insightful pearls of wisdom, spewing his ugly venom...Na agha, please don't get women in the west (Iranian or not) confused with your own mother whore've been around your own whore mother sooo much, you think everyone acts the same way as her...


Iranians and Sex

by M (not verified) on

Hey vanaki

You mother fucker hezbolaayee..I am counting the days that a cruise missle explodes in your and your leaders' assesses..lets count down together 10,9,8..


What the hell kind of

by Faramarz_Fateh on

What the hell kind of comment is this?
What does that make someone like you? Or the Iranian MEN in the West?



We are all gripped by

by Anonymous5345665 (not verified) on

We are all gripped by insecurities. Cultural, religious or otherwise. Shame on those who exploit it or sensationalize it.

If you ask me, you should be glad you don't have boys who can't handle modern women and don't understand their delimmas and come and laugh about them. Who don't realize that the men, as so proven by some of your sentences in this blog, are part of the problem.

You should be happy you have boys who can't see that all people are the same. Perhaps Sahba has a pattern of going for women who feel guilty after sex because he gets off on watching the parade that follows?

A woman's sex life is none of your business. Even if she wants to do it 100 times before the first date.
Khubeh khodetunam midunid ke clown hastin. SHoma ke virgin arusi kardin o darin mimirin, berin be fekre guilty sexeh khodetun bashid.


They are ****!

by Nader Vanaki (not verified) on

Most Iranian girls/women in the West are ****! The song and dance after sex is just acting. They will out sex any woman in the West.


It's like that everywhere

by Keer_Koloft (not verified) on

I remember sometimes that was the case in Iran at time of Shah and even now, although it is done more secretly in Iran now. It depends on the female's individuality and also family up-bringing has to do with it.

Ben Madadi


by Ben Madadi on

This is not only the case for Iranian women! It is a general women's rule all over the world. They learn this somewhere in underground schools we know nothing about :))

But, joking apart, women do all this because most men still do have prejudice toward women who have sex quickly easily.