Top 10 Reasons you maybe Zanzaleel

by Faramarz_Fateh


10) The last time you went out for a guys only night on the town, Jimmy Carter was the president.

9)  The last time your friends came to your house to watch a game on the TV Karim Abdul Jabbar played for the lakers.

8)  You call your friends and family only when you are alone, usually from the car.

7)  Your brothers, sisters and parents visit your home only with invitation, twice a year even though they live on the same block, while your wife's family visit frequently, unannounced and then stay for weeks at a time.

7)  You have started to forget what a TV remote looks like.

6)  You bring in 80% of the family income, but she pays all the bills, controls the money and pays you a monthly allowance.

5)  You drive the '99 Camry while your wife drives the brand new Range Rover.

4)  She allows you to have sex with her once a month.

3)  You don't dare sing the praise of any other women in your wife is presence.

2)  You are not allowed to use the master bathroom.

1)  Your son asks your wife to hookup the new XBOX.

 Whats missing from this list? 


more from Faramarz_Fateh
ebi amirhosseini

Dear TheMrs

by ebi amirhosseini on

I love it that you can read between the lines!.

but,as they say :Location,location,Location!I WANT it.

Play the clip I posted in my previous comment,& start his trainings!.

best wishes


Traditional people suck

by Anonimous (not verified) on

Only traditional men and women equate husbands' compromise and attention to their wives' needs as Zanzalili. We are hundreds of years behind civilized nations. What is so attractive about self-centered men anyway? I guess Iranian women are conditioned to be turned-on by their smelly, thick-mustached masters. Yaiks!


Ebi jan, Yes I speak from

by TheMrs on

Ebi jan,

Yes I speak from personal experience. In an opposite way.

I can't get my lover to EVER hold my purse. Only in a 911 emergency call would he do that. If I'm at a store, he refuses to hold my purse.

And for feminine products, I better stock up. No way in god's green earth is my lover going to the cash counter with always plus with wings or tampax.

He is so anti zan zaleel I can only zaleel myself. And Selfzaleel is not that much fun. Especially since I'm so hard to deal with.

But I know one zan zaleel very personally and it is so disgusting some times I can't look at him. The thing is that most women like manly men. So zan zaleels who are whimpy aren't that attractive after a few years. If a woman ownes a man, she loses respect for him. Of course, that's not your case since you WANT to be dominated :)


Top 10 reasons you are an ideal husband for TheMrs and Javaneh

by REAL.IRANIAN.MAN (not verified) on


10) You go out for a guys only night on the town every Saturday.

9) The last time your friends came to your house to watch a game on the TV was last Sunday.

8) You call your friends and family anytime you want, without considering your wife's feelings. They come before her.

7) Your brothers, sisters and parents visit your home every day (they live on the same block), while your wife's family are not allowed to visit upon your orders.

7) You are the sole holder of the TV remote.

6) You bring in 80% of the family income, and because of that you are the master of your household. Your wife's unpaid housework and child raising chores don't count for you. You occasionally hand her money for the purchase of children's clothing.

5-You drive both the '99 Camry and the brand new Range Rover. Your wife takes the bus.

4) She satisfies your sexual needs whether she's in mood or not.

3) You keep praising other women in your wife's presence without caring about her feelings.

2) The master bathroom is yours and yours alone.

1) Your son asks you to hookup the new XBOX.

Whats missing from this list?

ebi amirhosseini

I am a happily married ZiZi !!

by ebi amirhosseini on

1-Faramarz Jaan,great post.You should try writing for "Blue collar comedy Gang" & David Letherman's Late night show.

2-TheMrs Aziz,I hope you're not already enforcing all the points you made aka Are your points from your personal experience!!?.Kidding.

p.s.Tnx again for Karo.

3-Kaveh Jaan,good point,any solution you can suggest!?Please,Please.

Viva all Zizis,Zan-Zaleels or Hen-pecked men.

Keep up the good work dear ladies,we deserve it !. Az Maast Ke Bar Maast!.

Fun to Watch:


Best Wishes


who wears the trousers???

by javaneh29 on

you know your zanzaleel when

1. you say what you know she wants to hear

2. you always have the last word  ... 'im sorry azizam'

3. you married her for her looks but not the ones you get now have two hopes of winning an argument with her ... slim and none

there are many !

jesting aside ... its a serious problem for some and I cant understand why some women do like to hen peck their husbands. I would loose respect for a man who allowed it.



Reply To Astonished Woman

by t (not verified) on

Why astonished. I think most women agreeing with the comment above are educated, independent women who see such domineering women around them. After all, most of us have brothers, fathers, male cousins, male friends, etc...

I take issue with your use of the term "domineering Iranian men". The problem with the men who are "zan zaleel" is that they are dominated and are certainly not domineering. Their situation is analogous to women in relationships where the man controls everything.

In the past I was in a relationship where my husband was domineering and controlled every aspect of my life (control over who I called, visited etc...). So, I do feel it for these men.


Lesson Learned

by st (not verified) on

To those men who have not yet married and reading this, learn your lesson. To avoid such a situation where you then have to put up with hell for the rest of your life because of the kids or your pocket book, marry RIGHT.

The sex may be good before marriage but believe me it will go away. Ask any married friend of yours. So don't base your marriage on the looks, sex and the supposed love. Marry your equal, from an educational, upbringing and income standpoint. Women who do this are generally women who are financially dependent and need to control you in order to protect their own future.

To those men already in the ditch, dig yourselves out. True that short term it may be cheaper to keep her but it is at the expense of you foregoing a happy and full life. What is more important having a bigger home and living in hell, or living in a smaller home and having your freedom! Kids grow up and move on. As long as you remain a responsible parent your kids will be happy.

As for that poor Shaheed, just tell the bitch NO. What is she going to do, divorce you? No way in hell, she can't stand on her own not to mention what will her friends think ! She's not there because she loves you or even the kids, it's all about her. She wants someone to take care of her and some one to go to social events with. If she were to divorce you, she couldn't live in the same house and her friends would not invite her to the "mehmooni's" afraid their husbands may have learned a thing or two from your situation and dump them next.


It's astonishing

by AstonishedWoman (not verified) on

how many women here express solidarity with domineering Iranian men. Why don't you just say Zanzalil is a man who doesn't order his wife around? Az mAst ke bar mAst!



by ZAN SHAHEEEEEED (not verified) on

What a great post! Thank you Faramarz.

I am beyond zaleel; I am shaheed.

I have to drive my in-laws everywhere. Two or 3 times a week. Instead of thanking me, she always nags about how much time I take to get back home to do her chores.

I swear if I my kids were grown and out of college I'd be divorced so fast, she wouldn't know I am gone until my lawyer calls her. I am only being zaleel for my kids. But to me its worth it. Their well being is #1 for me and should be for everyone with kids.

Kaveh Nouraee

Very interesting subject

by Kaveh Nouraee on

"T", you are right, men do bear the responsibility for this phenomenon. Unfortunately, a large part of the reason why this has become more commonplace is the way society looks at the roles of men and women.

If a man stands up for himself, it is quite often taken to be an act of aggression, and often ends up being used against him. Many women exploit this, and use this as a tool to manipulate the men in their lives into total submission. There's no such things as compromise. It's either her way or get cleaned out in the divorce. Some guys actually just give up on themselves and say it's "cheaper to keep her" and put up with it.

And if children are involved, fuhgeddaboudit. Women who do this to men will also invariably do everything they can to alienate the guy from his children, too.

Women who do this to guys get absolutely no respect from me, only my total contempt. Women like that are just users. The laws are written so that the growing phenomenon of being zan zaleel will just flourish.

It's truly beyond sad.


Agree, but the men are at fault

by t (not verified) on

I'm a woman and agree with the list you mention above. However, these are the symptoms and not the cause.
The cause for being what you refer to as "zanzaleel" is that men allow it. Men think that at most their obligation is to go work and bring home the money. They are tired and don't want to deal with the social issues nor any confrontation and so leave it up to the wife. So, unless the wife allows for it, the husband over time wil not have any guy friends left and will loose touch with his own parents and siblings. After that is done, the wife will find the husband in a vulnerable state and become demanding and bossy toward him. Classic case of abuse.

So, to the men out there reading this, the cure is take control of your life and don't give in because it is less headache and more convenient that way. First she will cut you off from your friends and family and then she will give you hell. To the women who do this, if he can put his family aside after 30+ years, he can and will do the same to you. It is only a matter of time.

Treat each other as you would like to be treated!


I think this should be top

by TheMrs on

I think this should be top zanzaleel behaviour. You never went into the why of the issue. Great blog. We all know a few of these men.

- You automatically agree with whatever your wife says

- You take orders/directions from her. She tells you what to say in public.

- She's always on top. You know what I mean? ;)

- She makes all your social arrangements

- She buys your clothes fro you. somehow, nothing you buy matches anything and for some reason that actually matters!

- You know the difference between Fendi, Gucci and the beloved Louis Vuitton (maybe you;ve had the honor of being hit in the head with them)

- You buy your wife's feminine products.

- And the most positive way you can tell a guy's balls belong to his wife: You hold her purse!


I am a woman myself, but I

by Leila P. (not verified) on

I am a woman myself, but I have seen too many women do the things you mention up here to their husbands. I don't know why. Just as abusive and intimidating behavior is terrible when men do it to women, this is also some kind of abuse.

In general I agree with all the points except for point 7 (remote control), which I think is biologically (hormonally) impossible for men to give up, no matter how zan zaleel a man is!

P.S. I don't think you wrote this because you got into a fight with your wife!


what's missing from the list

by IRANdokht on



1- respect

2- self-respect

3- namak



Sorry about that!

by farokh2000 on

It sounds like you have some issues at home Faramarz. Sorry about that!

Hope things get better for you.