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The Vapor of a Why
30-Jul-2009
A jumbled mass of possessions, a vast rippled sky snatched away when the curtains are drawn, the burning radiance of cheers peeking through the folds from the distant horizon. Meadowlarks twirling, their wayward melody saturating the seclusion, raiding the passion for stillness. The sublime yearning to pause for the breeze, for the budding, for the ebbing. This is my world, my piece of the pie, an intimate sigh in the blink of an eye. The allotment of a life shrouded in the vapor of a why.
By and by, rocking to each lullaby, the cradle huddles a passerby. Yet again, a baby blossoms into a prodigy with the hopes of a promising destiny. To every dismay, the cycle of youth concludes, leaving behind a ravaged body. It is only then, just around the bend, the end looms savagely.
The child who sobbed for a toy now crawls in the tangled web of this lie. The pretension of a life, a feeble effort to seek the answer to a why. A heart beats to the rhythm of a cosmic lament then ceases its dance in the midst of this act. The denouement of a plot, gibing at fuddled faces pondering the ultimate why.
When I die, there will be no wake, no heads of states, no honor guards, no gun salutes in the procession chasing the hearse. No wailing, no tear drops rolling. Only the elimination of another corpse. Will you journey with me to divulge the end?
Body odor fills the air. The last ceremonial wash is near. On wrinkled sheets, urine seeps. The pulse weakens; saliva trickles. One hand shakes; the other prays. A last stare craves.
There is no bright light at the end of a tunnel. There is no flight on the wings of an angel to end my travel. No monsters have appeared to snatch my soul. There is no evil greeting me at the gates of hell. Neither a heaven to curtail the devil. The apparent absence of all delusions. This is the end when it is near.
Sipping the bitter ale under the darkened veil, toast the baby and salute the frail. In your gloomy trail, release this heavenly lie with a slow sigh: the revelation to grasp the why.
The last testament is here. My doom is near…
| Recently by LalehGillani | Comments | Date |
|---|---|---|
حق حیات، حق آزادی و حق پیگیری خوشبختی | 30 | Jul 28, 2011 |
| Future Belongs to the Fallen | 12 | May 03, 2011 |
منکه ماندن را ندانم یا که رفتن | 7 | May 03, 2011 |
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by Flying Solo on Mon Sep 28, 2009 11:38 AM PDT.
Dear Laleh
by Passing Through on Tue Aug 04, 2009 09:25 PM PDTAfter reading your comment below regarding finding peace, I was inspired to write this piece:
Finding Peace – In The Midst Of Storm
I hope you enjoy it
Wrapping Up
by LalehGillani on Wed Aug 05, 2009 11:00 AM PDTI would like to thank everyone for their comments and participation. If I have cast a dark shadow on anyone’s bright day, please accept my apologizes.
The darkness will lift in time…
Hadayat & Me
by LalehGillani on Tue Aug 04, 2009 12:03 PM PDTFlying Solo: Sadeq Hedayat has been occupying my head more and more recently, but the influence shouldn’t be attributed to him entirely. There is a dark side to my soul fed by Hedayat’s writings. He encourages me but by no means is responsible for its existence.
Where do I find this peace that everyone wishes for me?
Peace comes from within. There is none in me.
.
by Flying Solo on Mon Sep 28, 2009 11:37 AM PDT.
Dear Laleh
by Passing Through on Sat Aug 01, 2009 12:15 AM PDTAfter reading this blog again, I was inspired to write this piece:
The Yearning Of A Desire – Not Yet Fulfilled
I hope you enjoy it
Laleh jan amazing blog as usual.
by Tahirih on Fri Jul 31, 2009 03:57 PM PDTSo sorry to hear about your family I will keep them in my prayers and hoping for their safe return from the hands of these monsters.
With much tender respect for you,
Tahirih
Sweet Laleh
by Passing Through on Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:16 PM PDTI've been reading your material for quite sometime, and I have to say without reservation, that I can see the beauty in your soul ..
We may not have physically met before, but you need to understand that I trust my Spiritual Eyes in such matters more than my actual Physical Eyes .. Don't Forget That !!
Till Next Time :)
You Captured my Attention! Now What?
by LalehGillani on Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:22 AM PDTPassing Through wrote: “With the sweetness in your lips, and the warmth in your heart I bid you farewell, but for a moment, yes indeed, but for a moment”
I haven’t had the pleasure of being introduced to your writings, sir. But with this poem, you have captured my attention. As I pause for a second look, I find your boldness irresistible.
Until next time…
Featured or Not…
by LalehGillani on Fri Jul 31, 2009 10:26 AM PDTIranian.com is my home. I come here for your company. We are tied together by a motherland whose love sustains us and keeps us going.
Thank you for your words of comfort.
Agreed!
by Souri on Fri Jul 31, 2009 10:18 AM PDTI have always lots of respect for Laleh and find her posts always very interesting. She does not talk too often but whenever she has something to say, it is a delight for thoughts.
The problem with this featuring stuff is that there's no priority here.
Or, maybe JJ thinks he should only feature the content which are at risk of being skipped (?) and not getting enough number of readers.
He never featured my blogs (which I really don't care and I told him many times that I'm not so fussy about that)
But when it comes to the extraordinary people and their amazing blogs, then I really get upset.
Then, what to do? It is his site, not ours :)
PS: Laleh jan, thank you for this great essai.
souri Jan: LOL I love
by vildemose on Fri Jul 31, 2009 09:52 AM PDTsouri Jan: LOL
I love your sense of humor...She is a member of our IC community who has been directly affected by the recent brutality and she needs all of our support. Alas, no one really is listening.
Why?
by Souri on Fri Jul 31, 2009 09:12 AM PDTBecause there are more important blogs to be featured, like DK's Zorro series for example!! Don't you think so?
Why isn't this diary
by vildemose on Fri Jul 31, 2009 08:51 AM PDTWhy isn't this diary featured?
Cheer Up Sweet Lady – Your Beauty Is Evident
by Passing Through on Thu Jul 30, 2009 08:40 PM PDTIn the midst of autumn rising
Your very soul, in my hand, yet totally mesmerized
As I stare at you, yet the very foundation
My very existence and yours, though far apart, yet close at hand
It’s one thing, to damn all creation
Yet my sweetheart, the joy of your soul, ever immense
The pulse of your sensitivity, evident through and through
The joy of your lips, paramount, yet not overwhelming
As I know you, and indeed, you may know me
The destiny, a child in the bosom, totally uncalled for, yet not unpredictable
Cherish this very affection, the feelings may overwhelm
Yet the passion of the moment, at times elusive, yet ever present
Embrace this very beauty, that you have been endowed with
Carry these words, as truths, not as meaningless superlatives
You know what I’m saying, please embrace it O’ Sweet
Your heart receptive, know that for sure, I know that indeed, so do you
I want you to walk with me, knowing full well
Your path is mine, our Path is God’s, have No Doubt
There is no clamor, rejoice in the harmony of life
May not be the vision you had in mind, yet indeed the harmony of life
If troubled, visualize the bliss we are in
Not my bliss, nor yours, but ours, indeed, for sure
These words are not meaningless, the meandering of a Poet
Yet the genuine item, feel it, embrace it, become it
As I end this journey now, know full well in your heart
Our destiny intertwined, not that of my doing, but destiny itself
With the sweetness in your lips, and the warmth in your heart
I bid you farewell, but for a moment, yes indeed, but for a moment
As the stories say, hearts are all, one and the same
Embrace life, nothing else matters, embrace life
Come my sweet, leave your troubles behind
Embrace life My Darling, Embrace Life
Laleh jan: I'm so saddened
by vildemose on Thu Jul 30, 2009 07:09 PM PDTLaleh jan: I'm so saddened for you and your family. I wish you peace and strength to overcome anxiety and despair.
Hoping Against Hope
by LalehGillani on Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:34 AM PDT…
Drifting
by LalehGillani on Thu Jul 30, 2009 04:14 PM PDTDear Yana: I am cursed by my passion for politics. Penning isn’t my calling. The most recent events in Iran have kept me busy. There is an underlying current gathering strength and so much to do for the collective future of our nation. We can’t afford to get this one wrong again.
This blog is my refuge, an escape from politics, a momentarily drift from a patriotic duty…
You're an amazing writer. I
by vildemose on Thu Jul 30, 2009 04:08 PM PDTYou're an amazing writer. I hope your family members in Iran are fine. How are you doing?
Laleh, I wish you were my friend!
by Yana on Thu Jul 30, 2009 03:43 PM PDTThank you for sharing your gift of writing, your feelings with us! I was wondering when I would be blesed again to read you. God bles you.
shad zee
yana
A Tormented Soul
by LalehGillani on Thu Jul 30, 2009 02:58 PM PDTDear Alborz: I have no formal education or training in Persian or English literature. Instead, I have a tormented soul that drives me to pick up a pen. Although my political blogs are distributed inside Iran under a number of aliases, my writings aren’t published elsewhere.
Amazing - Laleh Khanom Aziz!
by alborz on Thu Jul 30, 2009 02:32 PM PDTSo gentle and serene - I will share this piece with many.
You have a gift of expression in both English and Persian that is indeed rare - I have often wondered what you have studied, what profession you are engaged in, and how widely is this gift recognized.
Thanks,
Alborz