Biblical ways to find a wife

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MeyBokhor_Manbarbesuzan
by MeyBokhor_Manbarbesuzan
25-Apr-2008
 

1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. -Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. -Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. -Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: This will cost you. -Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of hard labor for a wife. -Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. -David (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) -Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." -Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). -David (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) -Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. -Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

15. A wife? ... NOT! -Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

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agree with cyrus

by ramiN (not verified) on Fri Apr 25, 2008 05:45 PM PDT

you are so right i have seen it a million times.


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IRANdokht

Cyrus... are you done?

by IRANdokht on Fri Apr 25, 2008 01:54 PM PDT

instead of jumping to conclusions about me and generalizing it to cover a bunch of other women too, calm down for a second, take a deep breath and look at the way this is presented!

the author of this list, has taken each story out of the bible and found a way to make fun of the way the guy found himself a wife.

what's not funny about Adam putting a request to God or Cain finding one where there was none to be found, and Solomon having many wives etc...?

btw: did you know those same characters I mentioned also appear in the Qur'an? yeah.... Imagine that!!!

it's so funny how some people try so very hard to find something biased and unpleasant, where there is none!

LOL

IRANdokht


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default

witty ??? you women simply amaze us

by cyrus- (not verified) on Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:42 AM PDT

hala ageh yeki as in sefaresh ha ro dar ketab haye eslami peyda kardeh bood va inja neveshte bood , hamin khanum koli bad o birah migoft.
in barkhord zan irani kheili khob neshoon mideh ke injoor zanaye irooni hazer hastan har kesafati ro as melat haye dige ghabool konan va esmesho ye joori began ke engar aab as aab tekoon nakhordeh.
kojaye in jomle witty ast >>
12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). -David (2 Samuel 11)
be ghole bazia ; we know the likes of you inside out.


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IRANdokht

LOL

by IRANdokht on Fri Apr 25, 2008 09:12 AM PDT

That was very witty and entertaining

Thank you!

:0)

IRANdokht


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