The Law of Conservation of Insults


The Law of Conservation of Insults
by Multiple Personality Disorder

I’m lost for words, sitting here thinking.  Last year this time, it was the horrific pictures of people being hanged by cranes, and this year, Omidreza Mirsayafi died in prison for having insulted the authorities.  I wish people were not so brave, I wish there was no heroes.  Life is too precious to lose it for having insulted the authorities, and by the authorities do they mean he insulted the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei?  Did he insult him personally, or did he insult THEM in general?  What did he say anyway?  Does anyone know?  Did he use the “F” word, referring to the Supreme Leader?  I mean, in Farsi it’s not the “F” word, it’s like the “meem” word or the “kh” word, combined with a “gha” or “ko” word that has to do with insulting someone’s mother or sister.  Did he use those words?  Does anyone know?  Well, if someone uses those words to insult someone’s mother or sister; well I wouldn’t go as far as saying hang him, but I would say they shouldn’t use those words.  Maybe IRI should consider beating the crap out of those people who say mother “gha”, and sister “ko”, but no need to kill them.

I know, I know, nobody killed him.  He gave himself a brain hemorrhage, heart attack, or took too much depression drugs, or something like that, like he gave himself a shot of potassium.  I know all about it.  If he only said, “Ali the Beggar” I don’t think he should be arrested for it.  Yes, technically that’s an insult, but almost everybody in Iran says it.  Are they going to arrest 80% of the country?  Or, was it because he said it in the Internet?  Is that why they killed him?  His “crime” must have been more serious than that, but I don’t think he called Ali a mother “F”er, or anything that serious.  I don’t think anyone would dare to call him that in Iran.

I think maybe he used an insult somewhere in the middle of the two, between 'Ali the beggar' and 'Ali the mother "F”er', something like Incompetent Leader, or Archaic Leader.  Does anyone know if the insults are in court transcripts?  Was he tried in an open court?  Do they read the insults out load in the courts?  I don’t know these things, that’s why I ask.  If they read the insult out load, is it like the judge, who is also the prosecutor, says it out load like this, “He called the Supreme Leader an asshole.”  You see, I don’t know about these things and sometimes I write something and I don’t want to insult anyone and lose my head over it.  For example if I call the leader “dude”, like “the dude issued a fatwa to kill Rushdie”, is that an insult?  Maybe not an insult, but disrespectful?  Do they also kill you for being disrespectful but not out right insulting?  I know, I know, this whole blog is nothing but questions, but what can I do I don’t want to lose my life over something as trivial as an insult.  And by the way, am I trivializing someone’s death too much?  Please let me know. 

Here is another example I’d like to get an answer for; let’s say I really did insult someone, is it better to put my life at the hands of pasdaran or basiji?  Which one is better, and by better I mean which one let you live longer.  If I could know ahead of time I would turn in myself to that group instead.  Come to think about it more, I think I’ll just turn in myself to pasdaran, it sounds more Persian, it’s like they are nicer just by picking a Persian name for themselves.  Hello pasdaran.  I’ve been a bad boy.  Would you please arrest me?  allahi ghorbonet beram pasdar for killing me so nicely.  It has a nice ring to it, don’t you agree?  But compare that to basiji, it has a hateful ring to it, doesn’t it.  We are basijies and we’re gonna kick your ass.  Yeah, does anyone know if they keep track of how many people they have killed under their watch?  Do they like to brag, or sass each other about it?  Hey, I killed three people today.  How many did you, huh?  I only killed two, but the day ain’t over yet, is it?  I know they are not in charge of Evin Prison, but these kind of information could be a life saver one day. 

I don’t know, I think this insulting issue is blown way out of proportion.  Think about it this way, according to the law of conservation of insults; in a closed system the total number of insults remain constant, that means by reducing the number of insults to the authorities, the number of insults to the masses will increase, and visa versa, by increasing the number insults at the authorities, the number insults at the masses will decrease.  But now, in my opinion insulting is at a balance, meaning, yeah people are insulted by a number issues like the impending appearance of Emam Zaman, purchasing gasoline from Syria when we sit on an ocean of oil, and things like that, but at the same time the Iranian masses call their Supreme Leader a beggar and call Rafsanjani a shark, but at the end the total number of insults in that closed society remains the same.  They insult the masses by their idiotic governance, and the masses insult their leaders, and everything is nice and cozy.  Why does someone have to die over an insult?  I don’t get it.


Recently by Multiple Personality DisorderCommentsDate
ناگهان، شاهین نجفی Suddenly, a song by Shahin Najafi
Nov 13, 2012
Universal Love
Oct 01, 2012
Shahin Najafi, When...
Sep 02, 2012
more from Multiple Personality Disorder


by Mehrban on

Thank you for this blog, it is really un-believable that Omidyar Mirsayafi died as a result of a few lines he wrote.  Lines likes of which are written in volumes across the world about political leaders everyday.

It makes me think why we Iranians are so sensitive to insults (even perceived ones) maybe because our self image is so closely tied to other peoples opinion of us.  


Justice vs. Control

by alborz on

... is the question that needs to be addressed in this blog.

MPD questions what has befallen Mr. Mirsayafi in the context of crime and punishment.  As legitimate a perspective as this is, there is also a fundamentally alternate perspective that can, in my opinion, explain the rule of the Mullas in Iran over the past 30 years.

The rule of the Mullahs in Islamic Iran has been maintained by making an example of those that dare to cross the moving "red line" that is adjusted depending on whether the regime is internally or externally more or less vulnerable.

So, as an Iranian, I am deeply saddened to see that our people live their daily lives with the same instints as those under the rule of the Caliphate. As they are consumed with the basic necessities of daily life, they are reminded of what the consequences are any expression of dissatisfaction by these instances of example setting.

So in each case, the society is further diminished of its potency and the grind continues.

With deep sadness,



How to make sense of this tragedy?

by Monda notloggedin (not verified) on

I can't. I sat here and cried with the GLuck piece from JD. Timely article MPD, thank you.

Azarin Sadegh


by Azarin Sadegh on

Dear MPD,

I love the way you start from something simple and keep going, following the pure natural logic, almost like following a rushing river...and you don't stop to breathe for even a moment...As a reader we are with you in this flow...totally with you!

Thanks for writing so beautifully (with your usual sarcasm) about this tragedy! Azarin



A video made by Omidreza Mirsayafi!

by Daavood (not verified) on


sacrificial lambs

by JD (not verified) on


Great journey of discovery. Pure, innocent and blessed soul Omidreza and others like him are the butterflies of freedom that we always see hovering over the flowers but can never catch them to learn from. They fly away in their grace, giving us hope and promises. What is left, is you and I, the flower, memories and the despot.

When it comes to such questions, I like to offer a piece by composer C.W. Gluck -Dance of the Blessed Spirit which is beyond words and eases the sadness of a grand loss, don't hold back tears.....


rosie is roxy is roshan

You don't get it..

by rosie is roxy is roshan on

because you're a wooden-headed ghormeh-sabzi licking beggarshark pseudo-OB1 protractor-snorting split personality math nerd with an f-ing d's d up your goddam stinking you know what.

Got it now?

Kill me, I'm yours.


Anahid Hojjati

Another great article from Multiple

by Anahid Hojjati on

MPD, you have written a very good article.  Probably one of your best if not the best one.  I like how at the end, you talk about law of conservation of insults.