Dangerous People, Dangerous Games

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Dangerous People, Dangerous Games
by rosie is roxy is roshan
19-Aug-2009
 

I don't know what to say or how to say it. You won't believe me. You'll think I'm exaggerating. The things I've found out these past couple of days, So many dangerous games. It seems that the very nature of this medium, which is essentially inhumane, makes people do things they wouldn't normally do, things that are harmful to others, and that ultimately boomerang back on ourselves. Things that aren't really us, or maybe things that are most us. But we become dangerous people playing very dangerous games.

I was nvolved in these recent games. They were the most dangerous ones I'd ever seen.  I became a dangerous person, other people did too.I wonder why we're here at all.

This is a technology. It's a new and very imperfect one. It's not really good for human communication. You type black letters into lines in white boxes with black outlines,. The writer Alan Watts once pointed out that in nature there are no straight lines. This medium is not natural and it's very easy when you're in it to become inhumane. And people are unwilling to transcend the limits of the medium, to make the commitment, to have the will to humanize it' when necessary to go beyond it.

Why is it practically taboo to ask for someone's phone number to resolve differences? Misunderstandings could be resolved over the phone in five minutes that take forever or never to get resolved here. No visual cues, no tone of voice, no ability to stop someone and say excuse me, what did you just mean, before the post is finished, and then you're already angry. Why is it taboo to ask for mediation from a trusted neutral party when things are starting to get ugly?. Looks like a video game, feels like a video game, but don't forget, the atom bomb is a technology too.

This has been the pattern here since I came at the beginning of it all, almost two years ago. It never changed. I think maybe now it's changing a little because of the compulsory registration. These new registrants came into an environment far more structured than the chaos of the early days. The old timers, the diehards, I think the chaos of the beginning is still ingrained in us and so we keep falling back into these dangerous habits.

I hope we old timers grow up. I hope if we don't, the newcomers are smart enough not to fall into these games. They should understand that you can let yourself  become a dangerous person without even realizing it, and sometimes when the bodies fall they fall harder than you might think.

The Internet was supposed to bring out the best in us but almost fifteen years later, it so often brings out the worst. I wonder if it will ever become what it should be, achieve its potential.

I used to think so. I still hope so but right now I feel like I just don't know.

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rosie is roxy is roshan

Pkay, I understand the experience was bad and why you

by rosie is roxy is roshan on Fri Aug 21, 2009 03:05 AM PDT

don't recommend the mediation part. But here are two things:

The internet is a brutal place, and I think the main reason why that is so is because there are no personal consequences for bad behavior.

First point. Acutally in this particular Internet community there ARE personal consequences. First of all there are flesh and blood communities tied to it, especially in California, and second of all people are deeply invested in it so the backbiting and infighting public and private winds up having very serious consequences for people. They lose friends, they get hurt, they get ostracized, they get so emotionally drained jockeying for position and so on.

This is not a normal website where you are whoever you want to be. A website that is a complete other existence, a fantasy world.Which is one kind of normal website. (I don't mean posting under a separate identity here to say f. you, which just proves the point that you basically have a 'real' one here where you wouldn't say it...).

It is also not a strictly political or any kind of commentary website where yes you have all kinds of arguing but not at the personal level you have here. Also those websites are almost all far more heavily moderated than here, due to the experiences in the early days of the 'flame wars'.

This is also not a website for the Ausralian Socity of Gynecologysts for Holistic Treatment of Chlamydia..

This is an unusual website. I think it is because it really isn't ABOUT anything. The only thing it's about really is being Iranian (or in rare cases interested in Iran). Ohter than that, Moussavi, your problems with your boyfriend, saving the rain forest, your dog, anything. It's unusual and the consequences are far more real than most.

Second point:

So the Internet is a brutal place.

So why do we stay here?

Because we are addicted? Because we are lonely? Because we are avoiding other issues in our 'life's journey'? I mean the core group. I know why other people stay here. They want to look at pictures of Iran and nitpick about unsolvable political issues. But I don't understand why the people who are getting hurt stay, or keep coming back. And there are a LOT of us.

 


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ex programmer craig

Rosie

by ex programmer craig on Thu Aug 20, 2009 01:42 PM PDT

My personal experience with behind the scenes mediation has been disastrous. In one case, the woman who was doing the "mediation" decided to start gossiping in public (on the internet) about both of us, and shared some personal things about us that were never supposed to be made public. And if that wasn't bad enough, she also started making statements that were untrue, but were given credibilty due to her well known "insider" status.

That's nothing I'd ever voluntarily get involved in again!The internet is a brutal place, and I think the main reason why that is so is because there are no personal consequences for bad behavior. Nobody really cares if they get a reputation for being an asshole on the internet. In fact, some people seem to be quite proud of it.

I fully support your efforts to broker "peace treaties" on the web in public. But that's all I can subscribe to. The behind-the-scenes stuff just makes things worse, in my opinion.


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rosie is roxy is roshan

I just woke up at 6 a.m. and there was one thought in my mind,

by rosie is roxy is roshan on Thu Aug 20, 2009 05:15 AM PDT

'What about offer mediation?'

In the worst of the several situations I witnessed or was part of these past several days one person finally did offer mediation between me and someone and it was immediately successful. But in a way it was too late. Because someone else who'd hopped on board had become so very very dangerous they simply could not be stopped.


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