In 1989, when I was in my twenties, like a good American, I didn’t know much about geopolitics, or even geography, except that I wanted a better world Geopolitically, it was a cataclysmic year. And I wrote a poem about three cataclysmic events that had rocked my view of the world, and which seemed both very remote and very near. The poem had no title. Much later I titled it “1989”. This was the poem:
______________________
in Poland people vote
in China people die
in iran the man with the eyebrows
meets his turbaned god in his mosque in the sky
the agitated crowd flocks to the rooftops
in iran maybe people will vote
in iran maybe people will die
probably people will vote and die
the angry crowd rocks the rooftops
and I am troubled
by a great desperate and dictatorial love
for the poles the chinese
and the man with the eyebrows
saying save us we are drowining
to his turbaned god in his mosque in the sky
if I love you can i kill you
ayatollah ayatollah
i am drowning i am drowning
_______________
Almost two decades later I found Iran and Iran found me. And then we lost each other again. And then for some reason, part destiny, part choice, and part accident (as I have come to feel that most really important things in a person's life are), we found each other again here. What a strange place this is, isn't it?
When I joined this blogging community two years ago, at its inception, I did it because of a particular blog, where I saw how much you loved each other, and how dictatorial that love was on all sides. And so I thought well it can’t hurt, I’ll give it a shot. And I was very shy but I decided to try to mediate. And surprisingly I had some success, so I stayed. At that time I was Rose T. (the T. stood for Tapurestaan, a place, I felt, that both exists and does not exist, in the Persian imagination, just like Rosie, and Iran for me and for the expat community, and C-space itself).
Rosie T. was a peacemaker, and not a bad one at that. But then things happened here, as things will do, and Rosie is Roxy is not a peacemaker. This is clear. And Rosie is troubled by a great, desperate and dictatorial love within herself as much as the one she still sees in you. Rosie is also deeply by what Obama, who she campaigned for, said yesterday. And by the trials and the murders and what may be of the fate of Iran and the fate of the world. Rosie believes Iran’s historical imperative is to be a light that leads the way for the world. Rosie is very troubled indeed.
But most of all Rosie is troubled with Rosie. This great desperate and dictatorial love exists in us all. It is our individual and historical imperative to transcend the dictatorial part and make the love part pure. Accept it all, embrace it all, and purify it all. Rosie T. always used to say, 'the war begins and ends in oneslef', and now I know better than ever that she was right.
I have to think about it.
There is a concept in Ismaili Shiism, the ‘Imam of One’s Own Being’. It means to have mastery over oneself, over the darker part of oneself. To have mastery over something means first to understand it, then to embrace it, then if necessary to dissolve it. All the great spiritual traditions, at their greatest level, except this concept each in their own way (including the best, btw, of atheism). It means the mastery of oneself, of the best part of oneself over one’s lower self. In Mazdaism, it is called ‘Good thoughts, good words, good deeds’. In Mayahana Buddhism the heart of compassion.
Rosie has a lot to think about. Mousavi has a lot to think about. Khatami, Obama, Ahmadinejad, all have a lot to think about. And so do you.
So let's all try to think about it, shall we?
***
I wrote that poem exactly two decades ago. I’ve learned a decent bit about and China and certainly Iran, and I myself am going to turn fifty this month I have to think about what I've learned about me. My sign is Leo. The lion and the sun.
Nothing can be mastered until it is understood. Nothing can dissolve until it is understood and embraced.
Vive le roi. Imam of one's own being.
Sing it from the rooftops.
Recently by rosie is roxy is roshan | Comments | Date |
---|---|---|
Dangerous People, Dangerous Games | 3 | Aug 19, 2009 |
What Yeggia Once Told Me About Iran | 11 | Aug 16, 2009 |
Sedaa am | 17 | Aug 15, 2009 |
Person | About | Day |
---|---|---|
نسرین ستوده: زندانی روز | Dec 04 | |
Saeed Malekpour: Prisoner of the day | Lawyer says death sentence suspended | Dec 03 |
Majid Tavakoli: Prisoner of the day | Iterview with mother | Dec 02 |
احسان نراقی: جامعه شناس و نویسنده ۱۳۰۵-۱۳۹۱ | Dec 02 | |
Nasrin Sotoudeh: Prisoner of the day | 46 days on hunger strike | Dec 01 |
Nasrin Sotoudeh: Graffiti | In Barcelona | Nov 30 |
گوهر عشقی: مادر ستار بهشتی | Nov 30 | |
Abdollah Momeni: Prisoner of the day | Activist denied leave and family visits for 1.5 years | Nov 30 |
محمد کلالی: یکی از حمله کنندگان به سفارت ایران در برلین | Nov 29 | |
Habibollah Golparipour: Prisoner of the day | Kurdish Activist on Death Row | Nov 28 |
I want to thank you all for your lovely comments.
by rosie is roxy is roshan on Tue Aug 11, 2009 08:55 AM PDTI have a lot to say and I wanted to say it but I am going to defer. I think the comments on this thread touch on the things that really matter, and that underly the conflicts that are going now on these threads. We are missing the root and the real meaning and it is getting too ugly. I realized, like I said in this blog, that I have been part of all this, and I need to think about it and I mean that. So I don't think right now a conversation here would be helpful to this process. Or anywhere on the site.
I just wanted you to know though that I read you very carefully and I am thinking about that too.
There are no accidents
by Mehdi on Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:37 AM PDTAlthough we like to think that there is such a thing called accident, the fact is accident is just another one of those mythical creatures like luck. It simply indicates lack of knowledge. We don't know what causes something and we say it was an accident! It is as if we feel ashamed of saying, instead, that we don't know what caused it. There is a feeling of insecurity when we want to admit lack of knowledge. In reality, there is a reason why you keep coming in contact with Iran - maybe deep down you know why. Truth is we are all Iranian, American, Chinese, Mongolian, South African, Israelis, Palestinians, Egyptioans and we are all also members of all the long lost civilizations.
MPD
by David ET on Fri Aug 07, 2009 08:53 AM PDTGood one, you should post it as a poem
Green Allah-o-Akbar with ham (Will mullahs ever eat ham?)
by Multiple Personality Disorder on Fri Aug 07, 2009 08:04 AM PDT.
I am Leo, Leo I Am
I don't like green Allah-o-Akbar with ham
I don't like it here.
I don't like it there.
I don't like it anywhere.
I don't like it in my house.
I don't like it in the mosques.
I don't like it on the rooftops.
I don't like it at night.
I don’t like it recite.
I don't like it in the street.
I don't like in the heat.
I don't like it, I repeat.
But,
if green Allah-o-Akbar can make mullahs go away
then,
I must waive.
You can carve it on my grave.
Leo I Am
Thanks for sharing Rosie
by David ET on Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:33 PM PDTIt is interesting that at a time that Iranians have come together and found unity and common voice
They also see betrayals
When some draw lines, the color of blood can not be ignored or denied and people have to chose where to stand and things are more black and white and easier to recognize who is who and who was whom all along
Yes , there is always hope
..........
by maziar 58 on Thu Aug 06, 2009 09:01 PM PDTand I turned half century + 1 today as I told it to my kids. god bless you and your intuitions. Maziar
I see I left.
by rosie is roxy is roshan on Thu Aug 06, 2009 07:25 PM PDTmy notorious typos again. I tend to do it most when I'm feeling...well, when get a little carried away. Anyway...
please don't try to analyze it too much. It won't work.