Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss is one of the most beautiful Beginner Books ever written. It consists of 50 different words, all of them monosyllabic, except for “anywhere”. It’s poetic, yet it’s a theatrical play for children. The story is told through rhyming dialogue without descriptive narrative or analysis. The play consists of two characters; Sam-I-Am and an unnamed second person. The story is about Sam offering green eggs and ham to the second character who refuses it at first, but finally at the end agrees to give it a try, and then he finds it to be delicious.
The following is my attempt to rewrite the same play, with two characters. Zan-I-Am (زن منم) is an Iranian woman trying to convince her newly found friend to try black tea. He refuses at first, mindless of the art of Persian persuasion (تعارف). At the end he drinks the tea and he is impressed by it.
These are some of the words that I’ve use to convert the story:
souse: cold cut or at room temperature luncheon meat eaten around the world with many variation in recipe.
lox: cured salmon often eaten with cream cheese on a bagel or crackers.
phlox: a flower belonging to a family of herbs found mainly in North America. Some species of phlox are believed to have medicinal properties.
vervain: a flower mostly found in New World, but also in some parts of the Old World. Some species of vervain have long been used as an herbal tea.
Black Tea with Sugar
Zan-I-Am: I am zan. I am zan. Zan-I-Am
Friend: That Zan-I-Am! That Zan-I-Am! I like that Zan-I-Am!
Zan-I-Am: Do you like black tea with sugar?
Friend: I do not like it, Zan-I-Am. I do not like black tea with sugar.
Zan-I-Am: Would you like it here or there?
Friend: I would not like it here or there. I would not like it anywhere. I do not like black tea with sugar. I do not like it Zan-I-Am.
Zan-I-Am: Would you like it in the house? Would you like it with a souse?
Friend: I do not like it in the house. I do not like it with a souse. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere. I do not like black tea with sugar. I do not like it, Zan-I-Am.
Zan-I-Am: Would you drink it with a lox? Would you drink it with a phlox?
Friend: Not with a lox. Not with a phlox. Not in the house. Not with a souse. I would not drink it here or there. I would not drink it anywhere. I would not drink black tea with sugar. I do not like it, Zan-I-Am.
Zan-I-Am: Would you? Could you? With a cigar? Smoke it! Smoke it! Here they are.
Friend: I would not, could not, with a cigar.
Zan-I-Am: You may like it. You will see. You may like it in the pantry!
Friend: I would not, could not in the pantry. Not with a cigar! You let me be. I do not like it with a lox. I do not like it with a phlox. I do not like it in the house. I do not like it with a souse. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere. I do not like black tea with sugar. I do not like it, Zan-I-Am.
Zan-I-Am: Plain! Plain! Plain! Plain! Could you, would you, drink it plain?
Friend: Not plain! Not in the pantry! Not with a cigar! zan! Let me be! I would not, could not, with a lox. I could not, would not, with a phlox. I will not drink it with a souse. I will not drink it in the house. I will not drink it here or there. I will not drink it anywhere. I do not drink black tea with sugar. I do not like it, Zan-I-Am.
Zan-I-Am: Say! In the dark? Here in the dark! Would you, could you, in the dark?
Friend: I would not, could not, in the dark.
Zan-I-Am: Would you, could you, with vervain?
Friend: I would not, could not, with vervain. Not in the dark. Not plain. Not with a cigar. Not in the pantry. I do not like it, zan, you see. Not in the house. Not with a lox. Not with a souse. Not with a phlox. I will not drink it here or there. I do not like it anywhere!
Zan-I-Am: You do not like black tea with sugar?
Friend: I do not like it, Zan-I-Am.
Zan-I-Am: Could you, would you, with a float?
Friend: I would not, could not, with a float!
Zan-I-Am: Would you, could you, with Honey Oat?
Friend: I could not, would not, with Honey Oat. I will not, will not, with a float. I will not drink it with vervain. I will not drink it plain. Not in the dark! Not in the pantry! Not with a cigar! You let me be! I do not like it with a lox. I do not like it with a phlox. I will not drink it in the house. I do not like it with a souse. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere! I do not like black tea with sugar! I do not like it plain, Zan-I-Am.
Zan-I-Am: You do not like it. So you say. Try it! Try it! And you may. Try it and you may, I say.
Friend: zan! If you will let me be, I will try it. You will see.
(Friend drinks the black tea with sugar)
Friend: Say! I like black tea with sugar! I do! I like it, Zan-I-Am! And I would drink it with Honey Oat. And I would drink it with a float…and I will drink it with vervain. And in the dark. And plain. And with a cigar. And in the pantry. They are so good, so good, you see! So I will drink it with a lox. And I will drink it with a phlox. And I will drink it in the house. And I will drink it with a souse. And I will drink it here and there. Say! I will drink it anywhere! I do so like black tea with sugar! Thank you! Thank you, Zan-I-Am!
