I recently met a friend that I’d not seen in a long while. We both had decided that we needed to catch up and so managed to spare a few hours away from our busy and hectic lives. After the brief formalities in conversation, we started reminiscing about the past. He talked about his days and I shared some of mine. His eyes would glow every time he talked about his adventures and the “happy days” as he called it but all the shine and smile on his face went away when talking about the present. That’s when I realized that it was good we met.
You see, few days prior to our meeting, I had decided that what I needed to do was try and make at least 3 people smile/happy each day. I’m always at my best when I know am helping someone out and who wouldn’t want someone cheering them up or giving them a smile. Meeting with him was good because I realized how good I have it on a personal level. I quickly made a mental note to be thankful for everything good in my life.
He’s been married for almost a decade yet he’s not happy with the marriage. He went on saying that he’s got no time to himself and he feels suffocated!!! He can’t go out with his friends without his wife giving him the third degree. He continued by telling me about their intimacy in brief. When it got to the point that his idea of making the marriage work and for him to be happy is by having a child I had to bring him stop him. My own opinion, I shared with him was that a child would not make up for the unhappiness he was feeling nor would the relationship flourish as they had lots to resolve. Knowing him well, he wanted out of the marriage yet he couldn’t put her through the pain of a divorce. In his mind, having to cheat on her would be a safer bet. I am not a believer in divorce nor would I sit around and have someone I know cheat on his wife!
And that’s when I asked him that maybe it’s best if they met with a family therapist who’s an expert in such cases. He replied by saying that wouldn’t help as she’s not willing to go to one. To which I replied that maybe he should go alone anyways and try it out. I can listen for as long as you’d want me to, but I’m not an expert in helping nor at this point of time are you willing to take any advise.
We finally parted as he had to rush home to his wife and while I drove back home, I wondered to myself, how could I have put a smile on his face! Is my small decision on trying to cheer people up harder than it seemed? But I decided I was there when he needed to vent. I was there for him and that’s what he must have needed at that point of time; a friend to listen to him and maybe, just maybe he will be willing to take me up for it and see someone who would help me out overcome this huge burden in his heart…
