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To go or not to go
15-Sep-2007
Read if you’ve just returned from a summertime visit to Iran and miss home like hell. Or if you’re tired of reading about Iraq.
It’s been a week since I have come back from my annual summertime visits to Tehran. For the first few days, like a lot of people in my situation, I felt depressed, lonely and in total isolation.
You can’t blame me, really. For 2 months and 20 days, I was surrounded by cousins, aunts, uncles, friends who all spoke the same language as me and now suddenly, I’m back to a strange country with strange people with a VERY strange accent (none other than the LOVELY Scotland) and an empty home with my brother and dad (who aren’t the best people for cheering you up).
Being an Iranian teenager can be really hard when you love your country and equally hate the western country you currently reside in. I mean, I’ve been out of Iran for 10 years now and I still visit every summer, even though I have started University. I also seem to never be able to get used to being outside of Iran, otherwise, I wouldn’t really spend time writing this article for my lovely hamvatans to read.
I don’t know maybe I have some serious mental problems, I mean, there are other young Iranians here who are all too bikhiyaal and haven’t been to Iran for years. When I ask them if they miss it at all they shrug and say the old “I miss my family I guess”. Or maybe it’s because everytime I go back, I have such a good time with baahaal people and then come back here to this boring, soccer-crazy, whisky-drinking freckled-faced, freak of a country. I don’t know.
I asked my mamman about it a couple of days ago and she said the same old “you just think it’s like that because you were there for a short time” crap. Which may be true for some people but not me. I PREFER Iran.
Okay, the government situation is pretty shite and the pollution is too high and so is the population and the number of bikar kids who turn to drugs and crime. Yes, I am safe and sound and free as f*** here but the feeling of loneliness, isolation and horrible, horrible feeling of never being able to belong haunts me every single day in this crap, expensive, cold country to a point where I have been clinically depressed in the past.
And my mamman, babba fail to understand that I JUST DON’T belong here and well, lets face it, they’re not the most open-minded people in the world and that makes it 100 times worse. “Na babba, hala miri daneshgah, doostayeh khoob migiri, hamechi khoob misheh” says daddy. I’m now in university with awesome friends and still think about going back to Tehran everyday. Now what babba????
I will finish my degree and come and serve my country, no matter what the government situation may be....well…I mean as long as it’s not TOO dangerous….and……
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I feel for you brother, but you need to change your outlook
by Mohammad-Ali (not verified) on Sat Sep 15, 2007 01:12 PM PDTI just got back from Iran a few weeks ago. I spent a little over two months there as well, in the midst of cousins, aunts, uncles and plenty of friends. It's completely understandable how you feel mate. I love Iran, the country itself, the culture and its rich history. And I'm proud of my heritage. But I'm also grateful to live in the U.S., because I know I have every opportunity to make the most of my life here and lend a hand to a few others along the way.
Your love for your country is praiseworthy, but you need to change your outlook about life in the U.S., and for sure life in Iran. I mean I used to feel just like you. That living in this country wasn't for me, that I did not belong here and that whenever the decision was mine to make, I'd leave for Iran.
But that's not the right outlook. What I eventually realized was that Iran is fun only for visiting. It's great spending your summer there because you have your family flocking you and vaghe'an hamashoon sange tamoom mizarand. But beyond that, Iran is no place for comfortable living. I look at how many young people have their eyes sewn to life outside the place, how little to no hope they have for a career in their country. And it's not because they don't love their country. It's because there aren't many opportunities ahead of their life, if it were to be in Iran.
Just this recent rationing of gasoline which I'm sure you were in Iran to witness, it's only one of many strains compounding on the pained people of Iran - and that's people of the middle class I speak of, not the large faction of people living under the poverty line. To make a long story short, you cannot accomplish in Iran half as much as you could in the United States. And there are its many other advantages.
At the end of the day, this is the way you should view your life and motivate yourself: I'm here living in the U.S. and I'm going to make darn sure that I am successful enough here that somewhere along the line, I'll be able to lend a hand to my friends and family in Iran. Maybe help bring them here someday. And while working hard, I'm also going to enjoy my life here, because nostalgia's neither Iran nor a sense of fulfillment.
All the best my Iranian compatriot,
Mohammad-Ali
I think you are too young
by Arian (not verified) on Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:52 PM PDTI think you are too young and very unfimiliar with difficulties of every day life in iran. I hope u wont make a mistake by going back there and ruining your life. take it from some one who has been down the same road with as much as passion as u have now in nor more.
Its really good to feel the
by Lack on Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:31 PM PDTIts really good to feel the way you do...But I guess I'm one of the younger generation who doesn't feel the same way as you do about Iran. The connection I have with Iran & Iranian people will never be lost, but because I have had other commitments in my life here I never got the opportunity to visit Iran. I most likely consider Canada my country/home because this is where I live, work, study. I care about what goes on in this country & the future of Canada, whereas about issues in Iran I mostly care about basic rights for humans, the same way that I would care about what goes on in Africa. So I would NEVER imagine living in Iran.