Misc

but of course!

well then, what in the world were we disagreeing about? because i can't really argue anything that you've just said!

absolutely agree about mothers being more maternal. (well of course because fathers are PAternal but you get my point). i remember one time when my son was sick in the middle of the night. i usually just dealt with it myself but this time it was MAJOR. i mean it involved Tide, Lysol, Ajax, and Pinesol! i had to call to his father to bring MORE washclothes and he cracked the door and tossed them in and ran back to bed gagging. forget wounds and fresh blood, i could pick my son up but 200 pounds of fainting male... no.

no, i think our problem was one of interpretation. when you use ONE word out of thousands and hope that it relays your intentions, things can get screwed up. i'm just glad we have the opportunity to discuss it further.

one thing i do disagree with IF that is what your saying is that ALL parents love their children unconditionally and have some kind of instinctive protection factor built in. unfortunately this is simply not true.

right now i want to call my baby and tell him i love him.

Youth Worker

Thank you.

Not that am looking for social support, But I do strongly believe that a child MUST have proper and genuine guidance from PARENTS, in order to succeed.

capt_ayhab [-YT]

It was going so well---NOT

Dear fishie,

To begin with, I should tell you that I have a very conservative view of parenting. By that I do NOT mean exerting control over the child. What I mean is I see parenting to be one of the most difficult, delicate and most time consuming responsibilities that there is. 

Parenting for mothers[at the expense of being called male chauvinistic pig] comes more natural than a father. For the mere fact, a mother is sustainer and life giver contrast to a father who  is more like a provider. I am not saying that fathers lack [paternal instinct], however it is a proven fact[at least to me] that mothers posses stronger paternal instinct than fathers.

As a result, when I say parenting is within ones soul, this is what exactly i mean.  You know as I do, parenting is a 24/7/life-long job and responsibility. Responsibility as to not only being able to provide for the children to their best ability, but rather responsibility of GUIDANCE.

Certainly I can not argue with you that societies have tremendous effect on people, however I do believe that most important role of a parent is to GUIDE and help the child to choose the right path in life. Right path as to possessing the tools to make proper decision. Tools to become a useful member of a society, and above all to be a good person.

With these in mind, a parents job is to shield the child from improper external influences, by virtue of giving him/her proper tools of decision making. This of a grave importance for a child to learn to be able to distinguish [good] from [bad]. I mind you that I am NOT talking in context of [religion]. We have a proverb in Farsi that goes[Child is like a mirror, she/he reflects everything they see]. What to do then? How can a parent make sure that the child reflects image of TRUTH rather than wrong?

The KEY variable in the process of raising a child[I am speaking of our, Mrs.and mine experience], is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Asides from material needs of a child, the single most important factor in shaping a child's character is for him/her to KNOW that she/he is LOVED unconditionally. This way, child will not be seeking to satisfy her/his need for love outside of the HOME. Besides, a mutual understanding and trust is built between parents and the child.

Now, you say [i'll turn one back to YOU. your comment about being a father or mother being in your "soul" seems contradictory. being a good parent isn't automatic. just because you give birth doesn't mean your judgments are good ones. being a "father" or a "mother" is a biological status. it does NOT equate to being a good PARENT...]

I could not agree with you more, however remember one factor. Effect of society on a person is not absolute. By this I mean, external effect on anyone's behavior is SUGGESTIVE. Person chooses to accept the external pressure. Once we establish this fact, the responsibility shifts to PARENTS. There is one thing going for a parent though, which acts like a double-edged sword, and that is INSTINCTIVE love and protection a parent has for the child.

I say double-edged sword, because it works  [for] as it does [against] the parent. Sometimes, despite the love and affection for the child, a parent HAS to make a tough decision[tough love], by imposing restrictions on the child, i.e. grounding and etc. I know this sounds like cliche, however it does demonstrate the dilemma a parent faces when imposing restrictions on the child, in order to modify the behavior.

As to my ignorant assumption about you being a parent or not, all I can say is you are 100% correct. I did assume and I was at wrong. Now you calm down[lol].

Respectfully

capt_ayhab [-YT]

I do enjoy debating with you.  ;-)

Right of the Child

I am a Youth Worker in Sydney. My primary responsibility is to look after a group of six kids (13-18 years old) that have been either kicked out of home by their parents or decided to leave home to stop being abused by their parents.
Most of kids that are abused and homeless are result of bad parenting. It is enough pressure for the kids to conform to society's rules at schools and/or their social environment, let alone being forced to conform to home/parents rules that similar to outside conventions. The role of society can differ from the role that parents play in the child's life. Some parents don't agree with the society's rules and subsequently, their children will defy the rules too. In my own case as a parent, I am not a conformist and I tried really hard to convey my thoughts and beliefs to my child who is now a young adult.
I am more at ease knowing that if my child decided to conform to society's rules or not will be her own decision, not society's!

wait just a minute

your starting to sound combative. what exactly is your problem with me or my comments. how am i being paranoid?

listen, i DID ask you a simple question. i gave you a simple logical path of reasoning. you don't comment on that, instead you berate me for being "childish". please give me an example of my childish statements.

i'll turn one back to YOU. your comment about being a father or mother being in your "soul" seems contradictory. being a good parent isn't automatic. just because you give birth doesn't mean your judgements are good ones. being a "father" or a "mother" is a biological status. it does NOT equate to being a good PARENT.

and let suggest to you that you think about this one carefully. a society absolutely influences parenting. a society which allows and encourages female genitalia butchering and gets that parents PERMISSION to do so has influenced a VERY BAD DECISION.

if your referring to my comment about "assuming" as being "childish", then YOU my friend are seriously being a hypocrite. did YOU ask me if i'm a parent? NO, you did not. YOU made a careless implication that i'm not. and why? because i disagreed with you. wow. i just i wasn't around when God made you the parent patrol.

now. calm down and tell me how you disagree with my stand that society influences parenting.

Fishie

Do not get paranoid with me dude. Obviously you do not understand what I said. So instead of your childish remarks all you have to do is ask. chera kaf mikoni??

In a language that you can understand. A GOOD parent will never allow their underage child to get married. A child is parent's responsibility and not [kocheh o khiaboon]

short and sweet.

Have a good one

capt_ayhab [-YT]

whoa chickie poo

chill out. slow down. you don't agree with me, fine. but save the outrage, ok.

it's my opinion that the society in iran allows, permits, and even encourages these child marriages. no arguments there, right? so it stands to reason that if a parent agrees to said BAD decision regarding their children, their BAD DECISION (equate to bad parenting) is a direct influence of the society. is this so hard to understand? please correct any errors in my reasoning.

as far as smoking, i'm sure you meant "you" instead of "do" (didn't you make a correction in grammer on another blog?), but then again, maybe it's YOU who is tokin on a doob. ;-)

being a parent isn't gonna help understanding the rest of that paragraph.... say WHAT? what's up with the mother and father and father and child stuff? don't know how that relates to regarding anything i said in my comment.

and i've always preferred the saying "anyone can become a father, it takes someone special to become a daddy".

are you ASKING if i'm a parent or assuming i'm not. you know THAT old saying, right? about assuming?

Anonymous fishie

You say [i suggest that bad parenting is a RESULT of the society which is in place in ran. a society which is governed by a regime that allows and encourages child marriages, temporary marriages and total submission of
women....]

This is totally absurd man. Where in the heavens did you come up with that theory????And what did do smoke that made you mix up relationship between man and a woman, with relationship between a MOTHER and her CHILD, or Father and his CHILD. Are these to even comparable?????

Being a PARENT is IN your SOUL my friend. There is nothing anyone can do or say to stop a father and a mother to LOVE their child.

Malcolm X once said, [It takes one night to be a daddy, but takes a LIFE LONG to be FATHER]. Get my point dude????If you were a parent you would understand what I just said.

Saret jadet hame chio band nakon be regime.

Besides did you even read the articles I posted? Did IRI cause that too?????

capt_ayhab [-YT]

P/S  jeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

She is 12 years old

Hello everyone,
Thanks for your comments!
This film was made by 2minutes36frames Collective that are group of young adult Iranian filmmakers (15-22 years old).
'Teenage Wedding' was written by Zohreh Sabaghian (17 years old) and Marziyeh Yousefi (16 years old) from Yazd province. The challenge was to convey a social and political message relating directly to young people. Also, get the boys to direct this story from the girl's perspective. The writers emphasize on the fact that the film is an experimental reconstruction and she portrays a 12 years old bride!
2minutes36frames Collective

over-editorialized

i suggest that bad parenting

i suggest that bad parenting is a RESULT of the society which is in place in iran. a society which is governed by a regime that allows and encourages child marriages, temporary marriages and total submission of women.

for all that. i would NEVER sell myself or my child to that regime.

and it's been said from both sides with equal fairness. why compare a few incidents elsewhere to the common practices of iran? does saying that it happened in the US too negate the criminality of doing it in iran? if it doesn't, then why dilute the only issue in this blog with comparisons?

your just saying "if they can do it, so can i".

neither one are acceptable. :-)

This issue has more to do

This issue has more to do with bad parenting, than society as a whole. Without further dramatization from me, please take a look at these two articles.

--------------------------------------------------------

[...Police have arrested a man they say arranging to sell his 14-year-old
daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and
several cases of meat.....]

//www.ksbw.com/news/18463472/detail.html

---------------------------------------------------------

[...A 36th District Court judge found probable cause Friday to send a
Detroit woman to trial on charges that she hosted a cash-for-sex party
that involved two minors -- including her 16-year-old daughter.

Despite conflicting testimony from investigators and one of the minors,
Judge Ronald Giles said there was enough evidence for Tracy
Abdur-Rasheed, 34, to go to trial.

"This was a child sexual abusive act that was, at a minimum, erotic
nudity," Giles said Friday from the bench after concluding a two-day
preliminary examination.

Abdur-Rasheed is charged with child sexually abusive activity, a
20-year felony, for allegedly offering her daughter and another
16-year-old girl as entertainment at the party inside a home on
Cherrylawn near Curtis in Detroit, where investigators said as many as
20 women were dancing nude.....]

//www.freep.com/article/20090110/NEWS01/90110...

Respectfully

capt_ayhab [-YT]

My mother married at 17

My mother married at 17 because she fell in love and she wanted to. At 20 she had me. She says it was the best thing she ever did and she and my dad are still "sweethearts"! It even gets to me sometimes-- " akhe mama cheghade lovey dovey hastin shoma ha!"
My mom is 42, dad is 44 and I am 22. I have other siblings too. ;D)

hope

thank u mam. I got ur message.

17 year old girls

should be shopping at the mall, listening to their ipods, chattering with friends, decorating their rooms with posters of heartthrobs.

Teenage girls should be learning at their mother's knee how to cook and clean... for themselves, not someone else.

Teenage girls should be in school... learning a craft so that they will be able to take care of themselves, not someone else.

Teenage girls should be LEARNING about love... how to love and how to be loved, instead of being forced into marriage.

ps. Javeneh. while i totally agree with what you're saying in general about picking on someone for their language skills, it's different with Haji. He's a "character" who DOES know better. it's his "thing" to write in pig latin and to pretend not to understand. everyone knows it but sometimes it just gets a little irritating. he's been on IC for longer than most anyone and still hasn't learned english? no, old Hagi is just taking everyone for a ride. :-)

So sad

The saying "a picture is worth a thousand words" definitely applies here.

Not that it makes one bit of difference in the powerful message it sends, but I was wondering if this film is a dramatization or a documentary. If anyone knows, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

So depressing...

Such a sad movie....so depressing :-(

Thanks PG for posting it!

Azarin

PS:To hajiagha: The movie was done by iranians and didn't have one single word in English...Still you didn't get its meaning. I always thought your only problem was the language...

Excellent

It's a terrible tragedy to force a child or young adult to give up their freedom and happiness. the directors did a great job in conveying that message.

America bad

Hajiagha, America/canada bad..you go iran,,good,,,perhaps you next president or Rahbar..don't waist time here..bad.

She looks younger than 17

Are you sure she is 17 in the movie? She looks more like a 12-13 year old girl.

Dear Javaneh

I am sorry if my comment had nothing to do with the film.I got excited and forgot to comment about the video clip.I won't create anymore distractions here and will leave the discussion of a certain "right to mock" for another forum. My point was that we have choices.And NO thank God English is not my native language.I learned it.I always enjoy your comments.I shall retire from this discussion so Party girl can get more comments about the actual video.

Javaneh 29

Hi Javaneh;
Thank you for the comment. Now if more people could pay attention to the video as you did instead of bashing each other we might get somewhere.

Arash 1970

Is it necessary to critise someone for their poor english? You knew perfect english from birth right? Hajiagha got his point across and well done to him. He has a valid point, unlike the one you make which has nothing to do with the flim.

The film ....it is obviously a attempt to portray the misery for some girls, forced to marry. The issue is not so much about age and more about having no choice ... I married at 17 and I am english.... the point is being forced to marry when you dont want to.  

The sound track was a bit weird and seemed to have nothing to do with the content of the film.

Javaneh

My day is off to a bad start.

Will the defendant, Mr. HagiAgha rise.....
Sir, I find you guilty....Guilty of murdering the english language.
But on a serious note, sir, I strongly suggest you spend a few dollars on a spelling/grammar checker.

Haji Jan.......

Haji Agha...dear artist

For the love of God learn some English...I respect your opinion no matter what it is but you need to present it better.Write in Latin Farsi if you must so people can figure out what you are talking about. Stop being so bitter.You'll attract more females to you :-) If you are so unhappy with Northen America....move back to Iran..why not? It's not so bad !

افزايش فروش دختران نوجوان آمريکايي در ايالت کاليفرنيا TeenageWe

who can give more information about the message? specially the IRANO-Americans are asked. Thank you. Greeting

as artist know movies and fine art

//hajiagha-cartoons.blogspot.com/

some body try to made movies  and insult the Moslems, he or she forget to move in Canada or in USA plogomy a groups of white people and religion a man can married with young as 15 he have over 10 wife in Bc canada now he in charge .... , now we have this groups in canada but they are   free, also I let you know legal sex in canada was last years 14 years old  then government change to 16 you can have sex with 16 years old girl in Canada is law go have fun

$30 for hash you pay ...women right 7 am moring in cold winter I go to work counstruction and on my way girls are standing in corner of street is so cold, asking for pay for sex bring your cameria in vancouver or victoria