Iranian of the Day

Cycle

Manam_Babak,

This clip does not support anything - by itself. The woman says she was beaten and that she escaped. Good for her.

You assertion that if she truly were abused, she should have left after the first incident, is correct - only if she were emotionally healthy, confident and financially secure - which she says she was not.

At the end of the day words are words. Irrespective of who says what, the evidence of physical abuse is apparent in harm to the body.  You can't just walk into the police station and claim that your husband or wife tried to choke you without any choke marks on your neck.

Flying Solo

I did not see any evidence in this clip, and this clip is all I have to go by. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. If it is all true, 2nd time he harmed her, she should have left.I belive there is more to the story than we are let to belive.

this may not apply to this case or it might, but I belive the foundation for all marriages should be love, rest will folow. She did not mention anything about foling in love with him, before marying him, hence the result.

Evidence

Manam_Babak,

Of course there are two sides to this and all the other stories and both sides will sound equally convincing.  

Proof is not what he says/she says. Bodily harm speaks for itself.  Broken bones, gashes and cuts, knocked out teeth, pulled hair, bloodied nose, bruises, choke marks etc etc. 

Mitra So called Victim of domestic violence

I am sure there many sick minded men out there, but let's not forget there are just as many sick mided women out there as well. We have just heard the 1/2 of the story, I would like to hear his 1/2 of the story before I call her the victim.

آیا این تنها زنان هستند که قربانی ستم و ظلم خانوادگی میشوند؟

آیا این تنها زنان هستند که قربانی ستم و ظلم خانوادگی میشوند؟  البته این تنها زنان ما نیستند که مورد ظلم قرار میگیرند بلکه مردانی هم هستند که به زن خود اطمینان میکنند و آنان تمامی دار و ندار مرد را بالا میکشند و خودش را هم مثل جذامیان در کوچه ها رها میکنند و تا میتوانند با لجن مال کردنش بدکاریهای خودشان را پنهان میکنند. متاسفانه بایست گفت که این جنس بشر است که ناتو و بی انصاف است وکاری به زن یا مرد بودند ندارد. گویا هر طرف که صبور تر و مهربان تر باشد مورد ظلم طرف مقابل قرار میگیرد.  بسیاری از دختران وزنان مشرق زمین هستند که برای خاطر ثروت و آسایش زن مردی مسن تر از خود میشوند و بعد هم به او خیانت میکنند و سرمایه اش را میربایند و لجن مالش هم میکنند. 

Privacy!

I kind of understand why the woman's face is blurred, but can't figure out why they're protecting the a*&hole's privacy. So called men like him should be exposed to the public.

AM:

"Considering how relatively benign the US State laws are toward domestic violence offenders, they may as well sanction it. Don't take my word for it, look up the laws and then ask a few women what they think."Reading the above, I took "sanctioning it" as an implication for doing away with the existing laws, simply because you cannot sanction something and have laws against it. Or, at least, I cannot think of a situation, off hand.By "annecdotes," I was referring to your suggestion that I ask some women.

G. Rahmanian

I didn't say the US didn't have laws against it, I said the punishment is relatively benign. Google the info by State and see for yourself: restraining orders, community service, fines...that's what you get for slapping your wife around. In most states the possibility of imprisonment only comes in when the physical harm falls within the range of GBH and even then it is rather brief.

What anecdotes were you refering to?

You are right in that  sociocultural causes need to be examined, and it is rare and refreshing to actually read something sensible as that here, but that is appropriate for a general root cause identification and correction. I don't believe offenders should be allowed to get off easy while a society at large does its 'homework'.

Back to why I was offended enough to actually post a comment - Who is going to do the homework for Iran? The same unproductive, self indulgent people who sit and cry on IC day in and day out, about all the evils of Islam / communism/ monarchy / The West etc etc etc and brag about the fabulous 'history' we have? The ones whose daddies 'had factories and lost it because of the mullahs'? The ancient Shemiran residents? Or perhaps the less than mediocre poets and writers the community is so well endowed with? How about the self proclaimed political analysts who label anyone who disagrees with their views as a traitor and agent of one faction or another? Naaaah, let's put the hoards of brainless cheer leaders of all of them in charge, how's that? Yes we have numerous and severe sociocultural ailments, few, if any of which can be blamed on one factor alone (in our case the current convenient enemy / excuse is almost always islam).

Let's face it, if the resident IC weepers are a true representation of who we are as a nation, then we're a lost cause. Personally I have grown tired of hoping against hope as have many who read but don't bother to write.

I'll retire back to my sanity now. Will gladly read your response if you decide to post one. Please excuse me in advance for not responding any further. I find the usual ensuing frenzy of the rabid masses a little rough on my psyche.

A.M.:

As for the violent acts, I would be the last one to deny them! As for not having the laws, I tend to disagree, no matter how weak they may be. As much as I would be inclined to sympathize with or defend victims of any type of domestic violence, I would hesitate to base my judgement on anecdotes alone when it comes to adult partners, especially, in the more advanced countries. You have provided data on the issue and I would like to add that in the US such problems are not being addressed correctly. Often solutions are sought through legal actions and inappropriate or insufficint psychological approaches rather than looking at the sociocultural causes of the problems.Again, I am well aware that domestic violence is rampant in most societies.

G. Rahmanian

Considering how relatively benign the US State laws are toward domestic violence offenders, they may as well sanction it. Don't take my word for it, look up the laws and then ask a few women what they think.

Violence!

As IranFirst has aptly put it, the question remains, however, whether such violent acts are sanctioned by the state or not.

Survivor

Mitra:

You left. You are free. That makes you a survivor. Congratulations. You are not a victim any more. :)

cop/iranfirst

Your points linking islam with wife beating are well taken.  On a side note, we should also shed more light on abuse (physical/mental) caused by women too. 

Do you people ever take responsibilty for ANYTHING?

So now you are blaming wife beating on Islam. Yes, the US is a Moslem country that is why it has this to report:

• In a 1995-1996 study conducted in the 50
  States and the District of Columbia, nearly 25% of women and 7.6% of
  men were raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former
  spouse, cohabiting partner, or dating partner/acquaintance at some time
  in their lifetime (based on survey of 16,000 participants, equally male
  and female).
  

Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 181867, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence, at iii (2000), available at //www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/181867.htm

• Approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States.
  

Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 183781, Full
Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Intimate
Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence
Against Women Survey, at iv (2000), available at //www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/183781.htm

• Intimate partner violence made up 20% of all nonfatal violent crime experienced by women in 2001.
  

Callie Marie Rennison, U.S.
Dep't of Just., NCJ 197838, Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data
Brief: Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, at 1 (2003), available at //www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf

• Intimate partners committed 3% of the nonfatal violence against men.
  

Callie Marie Rennison, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 197838, Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief: Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, at 1 (2003), available at //www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf

• In 2000, 1,247 women and 440 men were
  killed by an intimate partner. In recent years, an intimate partner
  killed approximately 33% of female murder victims and 4% of male murder
  victims.
  

Callie Marie Rennison, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 197838, Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief: Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, at 1 (2003), available at //www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf

• Access to firearms yields a more than
  five-fold increase in risk of intimate partner homicide when considering
  other factors of abuse, according to a recent study, suggesting that
  abusers who possess guns tend to inflict the most severe abuse on their
  partners.
  

Jacquelyn C. Campbell et al., Risk
Factors For Femicide in Abusive Relationships: Results From A
Multi-Site Case Control Study, 93 Am. J. of Public Health 1089, 1092
(2003), abstract available at //www.ajph.org/cgi/content/abstract/93/7/1089

• Of females killed with a firearm, almost
  two-thirds were killed by their intimate partners. The number of
  females shot and killed by their husband or intimate partner was more
  than three times higher than the total number murdered by male strangers
  using all weapons combined in single victim/single offender incidents
  in 2002.
  

The Violence Pol'y Ctr., When
Men Murder Women: An Analysis of 2002 Homicide Data: Females Murdered
by Males in Single Victim/Single Offender Incidents, at 7 (2004), available at //www.vpc.org/studies/wmmw2004.pdf

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, between 1998 and 2002:

• Of the almost 3.5 million violent crimes committed against family members, 49% of these were crimes against spouses.
• 84% of spouse abuse victims were females, and 86% of victims of dating partner abuse at were female.
• Males were 83% of spouse murderers and 75% of dating partner murderers
• 50% of offenders in state prison
  for spousal abuse had killed their victims. Wives were more likely than
  husbands to be killed by their spouses: wives were about half of all
  spouses in the population in 2002, but 81% of all persons killed by
  their spouse.

Matthew R. Durose et al., U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 207846, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Family Violence Statistics: Including Statistics on Strangers and Acquaintances, at 31-32 (2005), available at //www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/fvs.pdf

Newsflash: Spousal abuse has little to do with religion, or sigheh or whatever else you are trying to blame it on. Normal healthy, sane individuals do not beat their wives. But why would you care? Today you blame Islam, and when the IRI is gone you'll find something else to blame for all that is wrong with us, because that is what YOU do. And you call yourselves 'men'? As DA would say Pffffftttt 

Who ARE you people? Sometimes, I really have a hard time believing there our so many idiots out there amongst us. Have some shame for God sake.

Yes, it is true that

domestic violance is everywhere. But as noted by Iranfirst, it is Islam that has sanctioned and "authorized" wife beating as means to bring her to submission. But wait, it is just these fucking mullahs that are bad...islam is good, ay? After all it's the religion of peace......so no worries. Let's keep embracing our opressors and killers. Done us well for 14 centruies. I wonder how much longer we can endure this "goodness"?

By the way, the Islamic regime has formally legalized and paved the way for men to obtain more than one wife without the consent of the first wife. Welcome to 7th century.

____________

IRAN FIRST

____________

Wife beating and Cult of Islam

Domestic Violence is a societal problem in many countries, but in
Iran and the Muslim world it is divinely ordained and justified by the Qur'an

Men have authority over women because God has made the one superior to
the other, and because they spend their wealth to maintain them. Good
women are obedient. They guard their unseen parts because God has
guarded them. As for those whom you fear disobedience, admonish them and
send them to beds apart and beat them. Then if they obey you, take no further action against them. Surely God is most high.

Sura 4:34 establishs men as having authority over their wives
and the women are to be obedient to their husbands. If the wife disobeys
the husband, the husband has the right admonish them, send them to beds
apart and beat them.

Only cowards and low-lifes will do that

I remember when I was growing up in Iran (before 79) the most cowardly act by a man was to raise his hand on a woman.

Now I know very well that there were plenty of demotic violence in Iran not only against women but also children.

But one of the biggest shock for me when was to learn how much worse it is here in US. I remember in collage I had taken a psychology class (Women psychology) and there were no women in that class that either themselves or their mother had not been badly injured as a result of demotic violence. We are talking about broken bones and ribs.

I still believe this act it is nothing but cowardliness, weakness and low-life

Mehrdad

Statira: I concur. Way too

Statira: I concur. Way too many here in the US as well.

unfortunately

there are many cases like this.