Sic Semper Tyrannis

I am responding to this article that compared the IRI to the Nazis. Simply put, the IRI, and Iran in general, cannot be compared to Nazi Germany. There are many differences, some of which are cultural and others are unique to akhoonds and the IRI. Here are the reasons. I will first point out the cultural ones:

-Germans are industrious people who are focused on innovation and invention. They build high quality precision machines, aircraft and tools that have no rival in the world. Iranians, on the other hand, like poetry and love stories. Our most treasured assets are Shahnameh and Divan-e-Hafez. With a very few exceptions, our kings and rulers, for at least the past ten centuries, have preferred to leave the whole “industry”,“innovation” and “invention” thing to foreigners and focus on becoming “hali-be-hali”while listening to a poem by the royal court’s resident poet.

-Germans are timely and efficient people. They show up for work on time, do the job right when they are there, and do not leave until the job is done. Iranians, on the other hand, treasure their afternoon naps, and their tea time while they are at work. They show up for work in the morning for a few hours, drink tea, BS with coworkers, and at 12:00 pm, they are in their cars and on their way home for lunch and their midday siesta. By the time they return to work (if they return to work), it’s time to come back home again. So, they waste a couple of hours lamenting about their rudely interrupted naps and work and then it’s back to the house, and more ghormeh sabzi.

-Germans are sticklers about rules and regulations. We, Iranians, on the other hand, consider laws to be “suggestions”. Hell, we can’t even learn to throw our trash in a trash bin on the street when there is trash can every 100 feet.

Now, some akhoond related reasons why Iran is not like Nazi German:

-Nazis valued nationalism above all else. They wanted to expand Deutschland. They valued German identity, German nationalism and German culture. Akhoonds, on the other hand, are enemies of Iranian nationalism and non-Islam related Iranian culture. Moreover, they cannot care less about what happens to Iran as a country so long as their ideology is advanced. As Ayatooleh Hendizadeh himself once said: “let Iran burn”. They even want to erase all mention of Iran’s past kings from Iranian schoolbooks.

-Nazis valued art and music, so much so that they stole every piece of valuable art that they could get their hands on from their conquered nations and brought them to Germany. Akhoonds, on the other hand, love rozeh khooni, too sar zani and ghoran khooni.

-In twelve years, Nazis elevated Germany from a conquered, half slaved nation to a powerhouse of technology, self sufficiency and technology. Theakhoonds, on the other hand, have managed, in the span of thirty years, to transform Iran from a progressive, forward moving nation to one that has torely on second hand North Korean technology for its defense, and cannot get a plane up in the air without it crashing and killing civilian passengers. The only thing that the IRI has managed to do is to put veils on women and reduce them to second classcitizens.

-Nazis were not satisfied with what they had. They always thought and planned about being bigger and better. Akhoonds, on the other hand, have changed the Iranian culture to one being satisfied (“ghaaneh”) with what you have, and are prolific supporters of culture of “geda-paravri.”

-Nazis made certain that ALL German citizens had a proper job and proper place to live. The akhoonds, on the other hand, have forced Iranians into such poverty that people are forced to sell their daughters in Dubai to buy food.

-Nazis hated religion in all its forms. The akhoonds, on the other hand…well, there is not much that I need to say there.

Last, but certainly not the least:

-Nazis loved cleanliness and proper representation. They were meticulous about their uniforms and abhorred sloppiness. Akhoonds, on the other hand, love the smell of “khala” and dirt. That’s why, as Sadegh Hedayat said once, whenever you go to a mosque, the “vozoo” fountains are next to the bathrooms, so the first thing you smell is the wonderful bathroom aroma. Also,have you seen their representatives in other nations? They look like the “sepoors “that pick up your trash every day. And what about their gun toting Basijis? They look (and act) like they just came outof a cave.

So, given all of the above, I don’t think that the IRI has any similarity to Nazi Germany. I think a better comparison would be North Korea, which Christopher Hitchens so artfully describes here. The similarities between those two systems are striking.