Don’t look at me left left

Fun with translation


Don’t look at me left left
by varjavand

Have you came across a situation that made you laugh, however, your American friends did not have any clue what the hell you were laughing about? Have you heard the story of an Iranian couple, who were relatively new to this country, and invited a few of their American friends to their house? The American friends were curious why this family had no children. So, they asked the couple inquiringly why they didn’t have any children after so many years of marriage. The poor husband replied reluctantly, as he was pointing to his wife, do you know “her oven is blind” meaning that she was, in fact, barren. Likewise, an Iranian going to a grocery store and asked if they sell “head of lion” (sar shir). Or, the story of an old lady who was coming to the US to see his son, they confiscated a bottle of “abghooreh” she had in her carryon bag at the airport, when they asked her to explain what was in the bottle, she said it was the “water of grape that is not arrived yet”


You probably have made funny translational mistakes, especially when you were relatively new to this country, simply because your English was as poor as the President Bush’s current approval rating. As a new student who came to this country in early 70s, I remember showing up for a party carrying a ladder with me because I was told that the food was on the house! When I was called for a job interview for the first time, I anxiously showed up at the store, went to the service desk and told the attending lady; I have a date (appointment) with your manager. You should see the sarcastic look on her face laughing at my expense. My second job interview wasn’t any less funny. After being interviewed by Mr. human- resource manager for about twenty minutes, I was rejected outright. As I was leaving his office, he told me amusingly, by the way Mr. Varjavand, I should tell you that my name is Mr. Moran. He was understandably upset because during the interview I kept calling him Mr. Moron, Mr. Moron.

Translational mishaps are like a two way streets. When I was in Iran not too long ago, I saw a doctor who was specialized in “children and other diseases”. While riding a public transportation bus, I was instructed that “in case of emergency, do not picnic (panic) break your widow (window). Similarly, as I was leaving a mosque, I was informed that if I cannot find my “shows” (shoes) please see the show keeper (shoe keeper).

Any way, what follows is a number of some Farsi expressions that are not necessarily funny unless they are translated into English. You may have heard some of them before. This list, which is by no means exhaustive, is your punishment for warding off the good writers from this site. To tell you the truth, I was so bored during the last spring break and tired of persistent watching of the weather channel. Staying idle is so unbearable for energetic individuals like me. I thought doing this may not be that tragic, but it is less tragic that going to Florida and jumping into empty pool. That is what a couple of my drunken students did last year. Thanks to over consumption of Tequila. I hope you have fun reading them. Please don’t feel sorry for me. I am not that desperate or bored, just hyperactive! They are not in any particular order;

  1. You can’t eat him with seven pounds of sugar
  2. Your hat is behind the crowd (klah passé maarekeh)
  3. One hair from a bear is an opportunity
  4. Don’t eat sad. This is the camel that sleeps at the door of everybody’s house
  5. Did you see what kind of dust poured on my head?
  6. You saw a camel, you didn’t see a camel
  7. Go ahead, I have your weather
  8. Your water and my water do not go into the same stream
  9. Please open my difference (frghe sar) on the other side
  10. I am sure there is a bowl under that half bowl
  11. We count the chickens at the end of fall
  12. Let’s say flower and hear flower
  13. Did you eat the brain of a donkey?
  14. Didn’t you have water? Didn’t you have bread? Was happiness kicking under your stomach?
  15. You where, here where
  16. What is your arithmetical word? (harfe hassab)
  17. Don’t look at me left left
  18. It is your aunt’s soup, it is your foot if you eat it, it is your foot if you don’t (ashe kashke khaleh)
  19. His head smells like gourmet vegetables
  20. He has hit himself to the last wire
  21. He is hitting himself to Left Ali Ally (kooche ali chap)
  22. He is the head of the donkey for us
  23. The straw is not yours but the stomach is
  24. He has bagged the yogurts
  25. His partridge sings rooster
  26. The Yellow dog is the brother of the jackal
  27. He is very head to air (sar be hava)
  28. There is honey in the garden, there is also the grape that is not arrived yet (ghooreh)
  29. Did you pull (kashidan) the food?
  30. Don’t make it one craw, forty craws
  31. What bunch of flowers did you give to the water this time?
  32. You spilled my reputation
  33. Do you want your father's inheritance from me?
  34. You decorated our party with your steps
  35. Dance and foot smashing until the dog sounds the horn (booghe sag)
  36. Water of the grape that is not arrived yet (ab ghooreh)
  37. He also came out of the water inside-yellow (to zard)
  38. His piece is in the oil
  39. Can you please light up my homework?
  40. You have read it blind
  41. She cannot have any children. Her oven is blind
  42. They have placed an arithmetical (hesabi) hat on your head
  43. I will make you the coin of one money
  44. Welcome, step on my eye
  45. He didn’t even put the place of dog (mahale sag) on us
  46. I go to give a head and an ear to water
  47. I am not a native (ahle) of fighting and arguments
  48. Are you the native of dealing?
  49. I hit my stomach to the sea
  50. Hasn’t your face gone yet?
  51. Water has passed our head
  52. New year house shaking
  53. She does not talk easily. She wants the tongue’s rent (keraye zaban)
  54. A fallen-place (ja oftadeh) man
  55. We ate bread and salt together
  56. All your works are vice versa (bar aks)
  57. She couldn’t find any husband. The hot (daghe) of husband was left on her stomach
  58. Woman satisfied, man satisfied, grave of judge’s father (gore pedar ghazi)
  59. He is very head to account (sar be hesab). He even pools the hair out of yogurt
  60. I am ready to be sacrificed for your tallness and your height (ghad va bala)
  61. You hit foot-back (poshte pa) to your own luck
  62. I am so angry. I want to hit head to desert
  63. If Ali is camel driver, he knows where to park a camel
  64. Tell me everything from garlic to onion
  65. Don’t wrap (yourself) on my feather and leg (par va pacheh) so much
  66. My stomach has done the weather of (has wished) water of meat (abghoosht)
  67. His behind the work (poshte kar) is very good
  68. He is one cloth (yek parcheh) of a gentleman
  69. His ear is not a debtor to these letters
  70. She was thinning behind the eye for me
  71. Money is like the grass of the bear for him
  72. He has eaten my money
  73. Please don’t put head on my head
  74. He thinks he is dropped from the nose of an elephant
  75. These patches do not stick on me
  76. As soon as the police came. They hit to the slit (chuck)
  77. You can’t ride camel bowed bowed
  78. He has poured my reputation
  79. Please root out the noise of the story (ghale ghaziyyeh kandan)
  80. Don’t make me the stone over the ice
  81. Flower has opened from his flower
  82. I didn’t paint my hair in the mill
  83. I want to bring a subject to your width (be arz rasandan)
  84. Sleep flew from my head
  85. He has given the fart and received the bill
  86. Work has passed the work
  87. Don’t bring up my dog face
  88. He is a one-rib (yek dandeh) person
  89. I was so shocked, I ate place (ja khordan) arithmetically (hesabi)
  90. That wasn’t a mouth-burning soup anyway
  91. Money is the grass of the bear for him
  92. Don’t break the bowl and the jug on my head
  93. Please step down from Satan’s donkey
  94. His money climbs up the snow-shovel
  95. Please excuse me for colon lengthening (roodeh drazi)
  96. Camel sees cotton seed in his dream
  97. Don’t you try to rub syrup on my head

Please excuse the poor selection of words in some cases. Let me know if you can help with choice of more proper words.


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persian westender

A couple of weeks ago I made

by persian westender on

A couple of weeks ago I made a short story by using some of these proverbs and slangs (in english form) and post it in my blog:
It was fun...


Dear Dr. Maleknasiri,

by varjavand on

Dear Dr. Maleknasiri,

I do have that one in my list although my version is slightly different, it is # 18



Ashe kashke Khalate............

by Faribors Maleknasri M.D. (not verified) on

it is your aunt`s vegtable soup
if you eat it, it is your foot
if you dont, it is (again) your foot
English equivalent: You will have to pay anyway Greeting


  Dear Commenters;  

by varjavand on


Dear Commenters;


Thanks for your encouraging words and your kind support. Although it is almost impossible to complete such a list, we can always find more of such proverbs to add to our list. If you do, please don’t hesitate to post them with your comment, so that we can make the list more comprehensive.

Thanks IRANdokht and Realist for helping out


Here are two more:

Our donkey hasn’t had a tail since it was a foal

Pot says to pot carrier, your face black



Here's some more...

by IRANdokht on

Thank you Mr Varjavand!

You had some real good ones I had not seen in print LOL

here's a list I saw somewhere... I am sure I left some similar ones in there... but some are new.

* Don't touch my stomach it's bloody (dast be delam nazar keh khooneh)

* Pickled girl (dokhtar torshideh)

*Take away your washed dead body! (Mordeh Shoor-et-ra bebaran!)

*Ghosts of your stomach! (Arvah-e-Shekamet!)

*Don’t put a hat on my head! (Saram kola nazar!)

*His donkey passed the bridge. (Kharesh az pol gozasht.)

*Cut tail! (Dom borideh!)

*His head is playing with his tail! (Saaresh ba dombesh bazi meekoneh!)

*Pull your carpet out of the water! (Gleemet ro as ab dar beear!)

*Happiness has hit you under your stomach! (Khoshi zadeh zireh delet!)

*Punch you so hard that electricity will come out of your eyes!
(Enghadr seft bezanamet keh bargh as cheshmet bepareh!)

*Snake Venom! (Zahr-e-maar!)

*Disease! (Maraz!)

*Pain without a cure! (Dard-e-beedarmoon!)

*I’ll take out your eyes! (Chesheto dar miaram!)

*Don't drop worms! (Kerm nareez!)

*He does long tongue!! (Zaboon derazi mikoneh!!)

*Donkey into donkey!!! (Khar to khareh!!!)

*Took the water from my face! (Aabeh roomo bord!)

*The blind read! (Koor Khoondeh!)

*The dog was hitting, the cat was dancing! (Sag mizad, gorbeh miraghsid!)

*My soul reached my lips! (Joonam be labam resid!)

*Inside head eater!! (To sari khor!!)

*It’s hit my head! (Zadeh be saram!)

*My head whistled! (Saram soot keshid!)

*I hope your eyes go blind! (Cheshmet koor sheh!)

*I grabbed it out of his belly. (Az delesh dar ovordam.)


Kaveh Nouraee

That was great!

by Kaveh Nouraee on

97 of them, I hope your fingers recover soon from all that typing.

Eerooni....that's one of those stories that makes you think!


My first encounter with these funny "translations" was

by Realist (not verified) on

Thanks for collecting these proverbs. :)

My first encounter with these funny "translations" was:

Everybody donkey boze eating koneh, paye larzesham sitting kone.

But that's centuries ago...



by Saraamin on

Hilarious !Thanks!


Don’t look at me left left

by Faribors Maleknasri M.D. (not verified) on

a very worthfull job, which is performed hier. Much better than usual articles in the "IRANIAN" which try to teach Iranians in Iran how to live, how to do in order throwing themselves out of their country and bring devils und satans back and critisising the theocraty and glorifying the western imperialismus. I enjoyed the translations and all Fun I had will be written on the translator`s feet. Greeting


Very funny

by eerooni (not verified) on

I had a big laugh.Here a story about an Iranian newcomer.A police stops an Iranian driver and he wants to issue him a ticket .To see if he can stop the police from writing a ticket he tells the police I am sorry,I made a mistake, I ate shit( bebakhshid man goh khordam).The police tells him let me call the ambulance for you then you need to go to hospital.I can not say if the story is truth or it is just a joke,you be the judge.