Rumi's Wine

Rumi's Wine
by The real Princess
14-Apr-2009
 

When mist of past clouds your heart

When memories pierce like swords heated in flame

When broken vows empty your soul

When there’s no one to be blamed


Your heart slams its doors

On enchantments of pure love

It no longer can fathom

Further pain or harder fall  


On surface, all is goodness

You've joined the mass elite

Some shallow joy will follow

Lust, kiss, but bitter sweet


You live not knowing how so

The wounds get healed in fact

Until despair's long arrow

Explodes the dreams intact


Blood spills on sand and scatters

Your soul into illusion

Is mind or heart my master?

Madness, hollowness, confusion


Not far before enlightened,

Pain's tactfully disguised

That, is the reason my love

It brings you much demise;


How else will you be able,

To taste the love divine?

How else will you be a drunkard,

With Rumi's sweetest wine?

-- Soheyla Marzvaan

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AgustinD

I am glad to read your

by AgustinD on Sat Sep 05, 2009 04:05 AM PDT

I am glad to read your comment about my piece as it closely captured what I expressed. It sounded better to me not to have " the" placed, and to some others it may be the opposite.Thank u for sharing us with your article it is too good.<a href="//www.gocubans.com/cohiba_cuban_cigars.html Cohiba cigars</a>




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The real Princess

understood

by The real Princess on Wed Apr 15, 2009 05:43 PM PDT

Dear Probity,

I  had read your previous comments on other pieces is the past, and thought of you as one who has a great deal of insight and sensitivity to human psyche. 

I am glad to read your comment about my piece as it closely captured what I expressed . Thank you for your comment and I am greatful for your talent.

Soheyla 

 

 

 

 


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The real Princess

"THE"

by The real Princess on Wed Apr 15, 2009 05:35 PM PDT

Thank you JK for your comment and attention.

You're absolutely correct that using "the" in some areas makes it "Grammatically" correct. However, this is my poor attempt in poetry, and that comes from the heart, and hopefully sits well in reader's heart no matter what the "correct Language " dictates.  

It sounded better to me not to have " the" placed, and to some others it may be the opposite. Hopefully you enjoyed the essence of the poem just the same,  as that pleasures me more ...

 

Thank you again for writing. I appreciate it.

Soheyla 

 


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The real Princess

best compliment

by The real Princess on Wed Apr 15, 2009 05:25 PM PDT

Dear Farokhzad,

 

I guess your comment was the best compliment. This is an original and not a translation. I wrote it about a month ago. Thank you....

Soheyla 


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farrokhzad

beautiful translation

by farrokhzad on Tue Apr 14, 2009 07:02 PM PDT

Thank you.

I always like to know the which persian poem a translation is related to .. would you care to write a line or two of the original persian? 


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default

Pretty. If I may suggest

by jk (not verified) on Tue Apr 14, 2009 06:36 PM PDT

Pretty.

If I may suggest some small corrections, sometimes you miss the "the" in a sentence which makes it sound weird. For example, it might be more correct to say:
When "the" mist of past clouds your heart
or
On "the" surface, all is goodness

Hopefully that won't ruin your rhymes too much..


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default

An insightful, and a beautiful poem…

by Probity (not verified) on Tue Apr 14, 2009 04:49 PM PDT

Spoken like a true friend whose words of wisdom are a bitter-sweet potion, holding a mirror to the soul taking a step to healing.
Thank you.


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