The JAFIO Report

How to read this post: every time you see JAFIO, you must say "Just Another Fucking Iranian Observation", then shake your head as you walk away. Just walk away, man.

Fundraising Progress…. during the past week, fans and supporters around the world raised $58,006,000 for Haiti and Iranian dot com. The sad news is that neither IRDC nor Haiti has seen a dime of it yet. From the target goal of $10,000, this leaves just $4,000 we need to come up with, so that JJ can pay the fine for being an idealistically naive young person who made the teenage mistake of becoming an IRI reporter for his formative years of the revolution that overthrew a brutal dictator, and gave hope to millions of Iranians yearning for freedom, and then betrayed them with the world's largest bait and switch tactic. That and the years of penance he has been doing since, running this site, should allow him to reach his target goal of having a clear conscience by 2012, just in time for the world to end…

Coke and Pepsi are "Lovin' IRI!"… This week Coke and Pepsi announced record profits, possibly due to the fact that even though technically there's an embargo on ANY American commerce with Iran, "either directly or through an agent", you can still order a nice frosty Coke or Pepsi with your 90cm Soltani anywhere in Iran today. Iran not only is allowed to have US soft drinks, it is one of the region's largest licensed bottlers, serving 30+ countries in the Gulf! JAFIO but if you're trying to get them to stop, why not hit them where it hurts? In the stomach! Although this reporter's preference is Doogh with his Koobideh, nothing but nothing makes a Mollah smile more than a Coca Cola and a long lunch. Bah! Bah! Urrrrp! Ahhhhh!

Sorry Seems to be the Only Word… although the Massachusetts election news was all about Republican Scott Brown trouncing the Democrats trying vainly to defend Ted Kennedy's seat, the real news was that Alan Khazei one of the many unqualified and ill-prepared Iranian-American's who somehow continue to divine that they should actually ever run for office, lost to the loser Martha Coakley, barely eking out a miserable 13% of the primary vote. Given that Khazei was the main force in developing Kennedy's National Service plan, it seems Khazei would heed this election result and stay behind-the-scenes, and not try to be a front-man. In an increasingly islamophobic America, just having a name like Khazei isn't going to get you very far.  You can't blame him for trying though, after all PAAIA, and his mommy, told him he could be anything he wanted, then sent him off into the werewolf and vampire-infested forest thinking he was a real boy, and had a real chance. Rumor has it that next on Khazei's bucket-list is to drive all night to Memphis in time to audition for the upcoming season's American Idol. His strategy is to beatbox the former Shahanshahi Iranian National anthem, which would certainly be a new take on an old favorite. (except for all the spitting…)

Disclaimer: Please feel free to post cynical or humorous comments. Due to apathy, exhaustion, and boredom, any serious discussions, literal misunderstandings, irrelevant discussions, and virtual fist fighting will be therapeutic.